Okay so I'm really confused right now as far as where I fit in to this world and my interactions with others. I am really trying to overcome the adversity I feel from not getting to be openly female in my own house because of my parents by opening up more at work and showing off my femininity more. This is a huge step for me as I am scared of telling anyone that I am, in fact, a woman at heart after the way my parents have reacted. I have commented several women in the drive thru on their nail polish and also their outfits and they react positively. I'm just confused as to why I'm so scared and how to get over that. Also, when I'm in guy mode I'm mostly attracted to women and when I'm in a relationship it seems to be that I'm ok with being a guy for the most part. But it becomes a psychological battle inside because sooner or later my inner girl will get frustrated with being suppressed. When in girl mode I am fiercely attracted to men. Please help me get rid of this confusion!!
Kisses,
Jessica

Well when it comes to girls you could simply try to be a bit nice... making a few nice remarks... and maybe even a few cheeky remarks later...
I'd say try to relax...

you could look for boys as partners if you feel conflicted with girls... within queer or pan people, or with a trans men for example...


hugs

Thanks Laura you always give good advice but I'm really having an identity crisis right now!! I constantly feel like I'm making a bad choice when it comes to wanting to be a woman even though it's what I want more than anything. I just don't know what to with myself😞

have a *hug*

its because you are kind of blocked...

you could look for companionship and friendship with girls...

for partnership with boys...

and you could think about a way to move forward....
maybe a therapist, and saying at home you want counseling for emotional purposes...
or going for a counseling to plannedparenthood or an lgbt center... calling there should be possible... or talking to a school counselor you trust...

hugs

I would love to have a boyfriend. It's one of my dreams. I just know my parents would look down on me and not understand. Part of the reason I'm so confused is that I'm only attracted to guys when I can let myself breathe and just be a girl. Otherwise I'm paranoid that somebody will see me as gay and I'm not gay, I'm a straight female.

Well I'd say try to rela and don't be paranoid .

Well one possibility that comes to mind... is there a PFLAG chapter close to where you are ? Its lgbt parents. They might help with explaining to parents.


hugs

 Yes we do but I feel like my parents would find out and hate me

Many of us worried about what are parents would think and wondered what they would do if they caught us especially for those of who knew of our gender issues from a young age. All can I offer you is hugs and this piece of advice. If they do discover, then I wiould try to explain to them how you feel and why. Show them materials on the subject might help at that point. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah

Thank you Mariah

Quote from: Jessiegirly66 on June 15, 2015, 09:23:15 PM
Yes we do but I feel like my parents would find out and hate me

The thought was more to drag them along and have other parents speak to them and help them understand.
PFLAG has meetings of members, where people can talk to each other and exchange info and help understanding.
Its normal people from all walks of life, many parents themselves, some are volunteers.
They might at least be asked if they could help. I personally would go there or phone and ask if they could be of any help. But its up to you.

hugs

You say your not gay and act like being gay is somehow "worse" than being trans???  Well Im sure many here including me would agree that simply being gay would be a hell of a lot easier that being trans... It sounds to me like you need to do some hard work on accepting yourself....  First of all whether you decide you must transition or not you need to realize at the very least your BI and accept it.... There is nothing "wrong" with that and its never gonna go away for you... When I first started to come to terms with myself and I was still unsure whether transition was right for me I had to deal with this... There were years of self hatred there and a lot of internal shame and guilt about the fact that Ive always been BI but Id never been willing to admit it to anyone much less myself...

Well one day I just had enough and while unsure about whether or not I was "really" trans I knew there could be no more denying the fact that Im BI... I basically had a period of about 2 weeks where I just broke down and "came out to myself" and accepted me as me... Its an incredibly liberating experience... While I knew then I had to start taking steps to transition I was very scared and unsure of where this would all end up... One thing I was then sure of though was that Id no longer live with all the guilt and shame anymore and Id just be me and damn the consequences...

When the time came to come out to family as TG I was asked if "I am gay".... Well I just replied that its a lot more complicated than that LOL, and being trans and very early into transition meant that even to myself I was "super queer"... As things have progressed with my transition and the HRT has done its magic I became more comfortable and confident as woman I more and more became exclusively attracted to men...

I still identify as and accept that Im BI though and again its just totally liberating to just forgive your self and accept it and just be you without all the self hatred and guilt and shame.... Its OK whoever you are to love yourself 

I second that maybe you can come out to your parents that you think you're gay or bi- and want to look into PFLAG.  Once you get your foot in the door with the LGBT resources, and possibly acceptance from your parents on that level, you can have a bit more freedom maybe to explore the trans resources that are available and alternative outlets of expression.