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I am full time!!!

Started by iKate, June 17, 2015, 10:06:40 AM

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michelle82

Kate! i'm so happy for you and i'm glad it went really smooth! You deserve it! I'm right behind you myself in terms of going full-time and transitioning at work. You give me courage!
Hair Removal - 10/1/14
HRT - 3/18/15
Full Time - 7/1/15
Name Change: 8/4/15
FFS - 1/14/16



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iKate

Thanks all of you for the kind wishes! I am really feeling the love.

Unfortunately our IT department is having a wonderful time changing my name in their systems... They'll get it right, eventually.
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Alice Love

Omg!!! That is so exciting congratulations!!!!!!!
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Jessie Ann

It's been a couple of weeks since I had my name change in our system and there are still a couple of places that the old name pops up in.  I just let them know and eventually, I hope, the old name will be off everything.  It has been an experience getting all of my accounts changed over to my new name.  I still have a few more to go and I'm sure additional ones will pop up from time to time.

Quote from: iKate on June 18, 2015, 11:55:22 AM
Thanks all of you for the kind wishes! I am really feeling the love.

Unfortunately our IT department is having a wonderful time changing my name in their systems... They'll get it right, eventually.
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Tessa James

Congratulations Kate.  Obviously we consider living full time as your real self worthy of recognition for the major step it is on your journey forward.  Very happy for you and the progress you earned with your family, work place and community.
Open, out and evolving queer trans person forever with HRT support since March 13, 2013
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Lynne

Congrats! I think your journey is very inspiring to us all.
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kittenpower

Congratulations and best wishes :)
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Becca131306

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Shawn Sunshine

Quote from: iKate on June 18, 2015, 11:55:22 AM
Thanks all of you for the kind wishes! I am really feeling the love.

Unfortunately our IT department is having a wonderful time changing my name in their systems... They'll get it right, eventually.

yep they changed it to mine ;) *evil grin*
Shawn Sunshine Strickland The Strickalator

#SupergirlsForJustice
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iKate

So a few odds and ends.

All of my colleagues I interact with on a regular basis have been making sincere efforts to get the name and pronouns right. For the most part they are. There are slips now and again but I am not really going crazy over a slip here and there. I just politely correct them and they apologize and pick themselves up and use the correct one.

I met the lunch guys in the cafeteria today and they did not recognize me. Or at least pretended not to. Anyway they were reintroduced to me.

No problems with the restrooms at all. Anywhere in the buildings. I especially like that we have large lighted (presumably) makeup mirrors. This is good. I pride myself in my appearance now and I fix myself maybe 6-7 times a day. I am who I always wanted to be and who I was on the inside. I am seeing people I don't even work with and they don't really have an issue with me. Anyway I'm just glad I don't have to use the men's anymore. This brings me to...

Apparently there are people who didn't get the memo. That is odd. I thought my boss told everyone. Anyway, one guy from a team called me by my old name. I said politely, "hey how ya doing, it's not <old name> anymore, it's <Kate>. I transitioned and I have a new name." Took a few shakes for him to get it but he did. I asked him if he got the memo, he asks, "what memo, nobody told me anything" But he didn't even seem surprised that I was at work in a dress. There will be pockets of that in the company. However, I seem to pass so well that people don't even recognize me here anymore in some places.

I need to order new business cards... and get a new ID. I may do that on monday instead of today. Too much going on today.

All of my work contacts I've been updating with my new name. My boss has been nice in telling them my new name and incorporating the pronouns.

Updating my email has been a pain in the posterior. IT finally got it right and it turns out their systems had an expired password somewhere that wasn't causing the cloud based email filtering system to parse my new email address properly. But it's all sorted out now and I can now go tell the world I'm who I am.

In general though, everyone here has been so respectful and nice. I sincerely have hope in humanity now. I think the recent news of trans* people in the news went a long way. I do get people saying, "You know, I saw Caitlyn Jenner on TV, but it's so much better to relate to someone I've known in person."
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Gabrielle_22

Congrats (again), lady!  ;D You have done something brave and beautiful, something that involves a radical re-orientation of the map of one's world, and not everyone is strong enough to try to navigate the places that used to be labelled 'here be dragons'--where living full-time likely was. So proud of ya.

I am wondering, though, about the few people who didn't get the proverbial memo. Do you think those are persons who don't really interact with the sectors of the office where your being full-time has been the most obvious? People who are disconnected? Perhaps the real test of acceptance comes from such persons, for whom you may be a genuine surprise, and you get to see their spur-of-the-moment reactions.

And, despite some fall-out in the media and news, I do think Jenner's transition has helped broadly make trans* lives more visible (with Aydian Dowling possibly doing a similar service of visibility for FTMs), comprehensible, and acceptable to cis-people who, prior to this, knew nothing about us or just had a vague negative idea of what a trans* person was. The world is still a rough sea to navigate for many of us, but maybe it really has gotten better, and will continue to.
"The time will come / when, with elation / you will greet yourself arriving / at your own door, in your own mirror / and each will smile at the other's welcome, / and say, sit here. Eat. / You will love again the stranger who was your self./ Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart / to itself, to the stranger who has loved you / all your life, whom you ignored" - Walcott, "Love after Love"
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iKate

Quote from: Gabrielle_22 on June 19, 2015, 02:24:05 PM
I am wondering, though, about the few people who didn't get the proverbial memo. Do you think those are persons who don't really interact with the sectors of the office where your being full-time has been the most obvious? People who are disconnected? Perhaps the real test of acceptance comes from such persons, for whom you may be a genuine surprise, and you get to see their spur-of-the-moment reactions.

So that team was an editorial team for one of our media properties. Some of them also are on air on the weekends doing local news coverage or small show segments on the main TV channels. My boss told the managers of the two main editorial teams but apparently forgot to tell them.

My job is to make sure the infrastructure is running to get their stuff out there, on the web and on TV. I do interact with them as they are end users of our systems. Also, when walking into the floor (we have an open floor plan) they are the first people I see.

QuoteAnd, despite some fall-out in the media and news, I do think Jenner's transition has helped broadly make trans* lives more visible (with Aydian Dowling possibly doing a similar service of visibility for FTMs), comprehensible, and acceptable to cis-people who, prior to this, knew nothing about us or just had a vague negative idea of what a trans* person was. The world is still a rough sea to navigate for many of us, but maybe it really has gotten better, and will continue to.

I think so. She did have a net positive but she did also bring out the worst in people. However that is nice too because it helps you determine who is really your friend and who is not.
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Becca131306

I know, just speaking for myself, before reading about Jenner's transition, I always associated Trans with drag and such. It was reading about her and what she's doing that opened my eyes to new possibilities and the road to being who I should have been. As with all things judged in the court of public opinion there will be pros and cons from the average Joe's and Jane's of our society. Yet without it, many more will be left in the dark thinking there is no solution for that which they think and feel.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G870A using Tapatalk

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iKate


Quote from: Becca131306 on June 19, 2015, 03:51:39 PM
I know, just speaking for myself, before reading about Jenner's transition, I always associated Trans with drag and such. It was reading about her and what she's doing that opened my eyes to new possibilities and the road to being who I should have been. As with all things judged in the court of public opinion there will be pros and cons from the average Joe's and Jane's of our society. Yet without it, many more will be left in the dark thinking there is no solution for that which they think and feel.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G870A using Tapatalk

Absolutely. Look, not for nothing a lot of us have these feelings and we stay stuffed away in the closet. Jenner has helped us all come out and realize we don't have to follow some outdated standard narrative of being outwardly effeminate.

And people know that being trans is a real medical condition versus some fetish or playing dress up:
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Jessie Ann

I also started full time at work this week and yes, there are a number of people who did not get the memo.  Part of that is that my office didnt't do a memo and part of it is we share our building with a different department and I have run into people I worked with years ago.  It has been fun seeing people's reactions to my transition.  No has said anything inappropriate but the reactions have run from utter disbelief to arms wide open welcome to the sisterhood. I have done my best to educate my co-workers and everyone has been really interested in the issues. I meet with the elected official I work for on Wednesday and spent about a half hour with her discussing the issues. She was then interviewed by the local news crew yesterday and I am told she did a fantastic job. She was very warm and open with me and gave me a big hug when we first meet and when we said goodbye. 

The Jenner interview has come up a number of times and I think that it has helped with modt of the people I have spoken with.  I am sure that there are people who are talking behind my back and making fun of me but I really don't care.  There are the people who you can tell are really uncomfortable with me and others who are excited.  I've found the ones who are uncomfortable just avert their eyes or pretend they are busy with something.  It's no biggie to me. 

All I can say is I love being me right now and it feels so normal. 

Quote from: Gabrielle_22 on June 19, 2015, 02:24:05 PM

I am wondering, though, about the few people who didn't get the proverbial memo. Do you think those are persons who don't really interact with the sectors of the office where your being full-time has been the most obvious? People who are disconnected? Perhaps the real test of acceptance comes from such persons, for whom you may be a genuine surprise, and you get to see their spur-of-the-moment reactions.
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insanio

Congrats! Very inspiring.
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michelle82

Hi Kate!, just curious about your communication process at work. Did your leaders create an email memo? or was it announced in person?

My director and HR rep are thinking about announcing my transition at team huddles in person, because HR said they don't want emails flying around. I don't really see why its a big deal, but I might have to go with their recommendation. Hopefully I should know the plan by end of the week!
Hair Removal - 10/1/14
HRT - 3/18/15
Full Time - 7/1/15
Name Change: 8/4/15
FFS - 1/14/16



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Kellam

When I first went full time at work there were a couple people from security and janitorial who got very cold to me. Gone were the morning hellos. Instead it was like I didn't exist. Over time though they have adjusted to the new me and while the level of pleasantries has decreased over all they can't help but like me. 'Cause I am still smiley, polite and helpful. The extra departmental slips have all stopped by now too. I started back in April by the way...
https://atranswomanstale.wordpress.com This is my blog A Trans Woman's Tale -Chris Jen Kellam-Scott

"You must always be yourself, no matter what the price. It is the highest form of morality."   -Candy Darling



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iKate


Quote from: michelle82 on June 24, 2015, 01:20:47 AM
Hi Kate!, just curious about your communication process at work. Did your leaders create an email memo? or was it announced in person?

My director and HR rep are thinking about announcing my transition at team huddles in person, because HR said they don't want emails flying around. I don't really see why its a big deal, but I might have to go with their recommendation. Hopefully I should know the plan by end of the week!

Initially they were like a deer in the headlights. Eventually my manager and I agreed on an email. Then he talked it over with one of the other managers (the only woman on the management team and who is also super nice and an ally) and she suggested a team meeting.

So they held a team meeting 2 days before I officially went full time at work but since everyone knew the next day I stopped hiding that day. Thursday is when my name in the IT systems like email and IM got changed over.

Also I was not in the meeting.

April (carmenkate) had a similar process. This seemed to work.

So far I've had zero issues with restrooms or anything else. (But I usually don't have issues anyway). People occasionally accidentally use the wrong pronouns or name but I correct them and they are very apologetic.

After that I started coming out to vendors and other contacts one by one. Some are a little confused, asking who is this new employee, is she taking over for me etc. But I explain and it's all cool.
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glamorgirl

Hey MS iKate, I am new to this Community. Glad to be among the great Achievers. I congratulate this Full Timer. As soon as I joined here, I happen to read this post, to start with. There should be starting point to mingle with the members, and make friends. I wish you, a long life full of health & happiness , peace & prosperity. I am sure, you will reach to greater heights in your career, because , you have determination and perseverance. All the best. You are my first friend.
Women Admirer
Love2belady
Feminist
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