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Apprehension to pursuing medical treatment :-/

Started by Willowicious, June 18, 2015, 07:38:19 PM

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Willowicious

Hiya! (I wasn't sure whether to put this in the Transition: Therapy or Non-Binary Section, so I just put it here  :) )

I identify as being gender-fluid, but more on the femme side, with body disphoria (I have a male body, which I believe being born into was a mistake, and I wish to change my body to reflect/ express my more feminine personality). As a result of this, I feel I need to see my GP, who would then refer me to a therapist (as per NHS norm as a UK resident), in order to be assessed to hopefully get medical treatments to make my body more feminine.
However, as I don't feel like I'm a fully transwoman, and probably couldn't stay as total woman for the rest of my life due to my gender-fluid nature, and I don't believe I suffer from any issues such as major depression or anxiety, I feel like doctors would feel like I was undeserving of gender disphoria treatment, and I wouldn't get the treatment I feel I need to allow me to express myself and function better as a person, but don't deserve.

Does anybody have any advice on this matter? Any input will be greatly appreciated!   ;D


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Mariah

If you decide you want us to move it, just let us know. I would have that the non binary section would be a better fit for this post, but because you mention therapy I'm going to leave it alone until I hear otherwise. Not everyone has gender dysphoria and they know and understand. Just be honest and upfront about your feelings and everything your going through and everything will be fine. Good luck and Hugs.
Mariah
If you have any questions, please feel free to ask me.
[email]mariahsusans.orgstaff@yahoo.com[/email]
I am also spouse of a transgender person.
Retired News Administrator
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suzifrommd

Quote from: Grell4SpiritAnimal on June 18, 2015, 07:38:19 PM
Does anybody have any advice on this matter? Any input will be greatly appreciated!   ;D

Yes, lots of advice.

First, you must, must, must understand:

Non-binary people have a right to transition to a presentation that allows them to express their gender identity. We are NOT required to sit on the sidelines cheering on binary folk and wondering what it would like to have the body and the life we want.

I'm very similar to you. Never had serious anxiety or depression issues, assumed I'd never make it as a woman because I never felt completely female.

I'm thrilled with my transition and I'm exactly the person I want to be. In the process, I got hormone therapy and eventually bottom surgery because it matched the body I wanted to have.

If a doctor says you are undeserving of treatment, they are the WRONG DOCTOR for you. Don't let anyone keep you from being the person you know you need to be.
Have you read my short story The Eve of Triumph?
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Willowicious

Yes, please could you move it to the Non-Binary section if you would think it would be more appropriate there  ;D

Thank you for all the support! <3 I had read somewhere that the NHS only provided medical treatment to help you transition if you were fully trans, and had had a lengthy real life experience, and it got me worried :-/


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Swayallday

We have much similar thoughts.

I want to pursue this path, also.

But as how I view it. I'm a biological male and I can't change that fact but I was soooooo happy back when I dressed androgyn and still looked that way also.

I don't know your history but i'm entirely certain my story will convince any therapist and if I have to lie that I identify completely as a female to get this done... Why not? I want to be me... And the more years pass, the more male my physique is turning... Depressing ! (especially body form)

So basically I tune in as completely as female but due to my biological nature can't identify completely...

Lets change that! Somewhat \(^ω^\)
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Dena

In full gender reassignment a year of cross living is required because as you resolve issues your outlook on the world changes. You may be fluid now but as you throw off some of the emotional chains, you could remain fluid or you might develop a more binary point of view. The only way you will ever know is to start down the path as you have proposed with an open mind and no set goal. I think for starters you need to argue that you are gender dysphoric and you can truthfully say at this time you are uncomfortable in your present body and are somewhat unsure about the surgery. You are in the process of exploring the alternatives.
Rebirth Date 1982 - PMs are welcome - Use [email]dena@susans.org[/email] or Discord if your unable to PM - Skype is available - My Transition
If you are helped by this site, consider leaving a tip in the jar at the bottom of the page or become a subscriber
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Swayallday

Quote from: Dena on June 19, 2015, 07:15:00 AM
In full gender reassignment a year of cross living is required because as you resolve issues your outlook on the world changes. You may be fluid now but as you throw off some of the emotional chains, you could remain fluid or you might develop a more binary point of view. The only way you will ever know is to start down the path as you have proposed with an open mind and no set goal. I think for starters you need to argue that you are gender dysphoric and you can truthfully say at this time you are uncomfortable in your present body and are somewhat unsure about the surgery. You are in the process of exploring the alternatives.

That's cruel.

Not realistic for a lot of people...
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Dena

Quote from: Swayallday on June 19, 2015, 07:33:33 AM
That's cruel.

Not realistic for a lot of people...
I am not sure I understand what you are saying. If you are saying it's not possible of some people to alter their body then they should stay away from the hormones. I don't have a problem with somebody who is fluid and wishes their body to remain unaltered. The poster in this case indicated a more feminine body was desirable and that indicates to me that the poster might fit into several possible outcomes. Gender identity can be somewhat fluid and many of us due to outside pressure have shifted our gender identity to meet social norms. Only by exploring this possibilities will the poster discover  what is right. There is a strong possibility the poster will remain fluid but I am not sure anybody can say for sure.
Rebirth Date 1982 - PMs are welcome - Use [email]dena@susans.org[/email] or Discord if your unable to PM - Skype is available - My Transition
If you are helped by this site, consider leaving a tip in the jar at the bottom of the page or become a subscriber
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Swayallday

I know what I want!  :laugh:

But if it's expected of me to go to work in a dress, mascara, gloss
That's enough basis to get fired.
As lose my home.

Alright, that's okay, I could always seek another job... but a man living in that role won't get hired that easily
& then people can yell acceptance all they want...

The bunch of friends i'll lose, I can live with that but for other aspects of life it's unrealistic. Oh well I suppose it weeds out the people that aren't dedicated.

I also don't see what the people around me get out of this other then myself growing elephantskin.

It's not that I don't want to come out but I don't see it as neccesary to hang it on everyones noses either.

Very bombastic  ???
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Dena

Sway: I now understand your point of view and I am not sure hormones would be right for you because in some cases people respond very well to them. Hormones blockers are a possibility and facial hair removal along with plastic surgery might be a better fit for your desires. In the end, I can only suggest but you have to make the decision as to how far you want to take it. When I went through transition and SRS, nobody pushed me forward and much of the information I received was against the direction I wanted to move. I had to rely what I knew to be right for me to make the correct decisions in my life. You have many options open to you, chose wisely.
Rebirth Date 1982 - PMs are welcome - Use [email]dena@susans.org[/email] or Discord if your unable to PM - Skype is available - My Transition
If you are helped by this site, consider leaving a tip in the jar at the bottom of the page or become a subscriber
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suzifrommd

Quote from: Dena on June 19, 2015, 09:19:19 AM
Sway: I now understand your point of view and I am not sure hormones would be right for you because in some cases people respond very well to them. Hormones blockers are a possibility and facial hair removal along with plastic surgery might be a better fit for your desires.

I had heard that hormone blockers without replacement hormones were unhealthy for bone mass.
Have you read my short story The Eve of Triumph?
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Dena

Quote from: suzifrommd on June 19, 2015, 09:23:38 AM
I had heard that hormone blockers without replacement hormones were unhealthy for bone mass.
I am pretty new to the concept of hormone blockers but I suspect there are several factors. If you are young and developing bone mass there could be problems but they do put young children on them to delay puberty. If you are active, take  calcium and vitamin D but lack hormones as I do, you can resist the loss of bone mass. In comes down to a discussion with your doctor covering cost vs benefits.
Rebirth Date 1982 - PMs are welcome - Use [email]dena@susans.org[/email] or Discord if your unable to PM - Skype is available - My Transition
If you are helped by this site, consider leaving a tip in the jar at the bottom of the page or become a subscriber
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Swayallday

Quote from: Dena on June 19, 2015, 09:19:19 AM
Sway: I now understand your point of view and I am not sure hormones would be right for you because in some cases people respond very well to them. Hormones blockers are a possibility and facial hair removal along with plastic surgery might be a better fit for your desires. In the end, I can only suggest but you have to make the decision as to how far you want to take it. When I went through transition and SRS, nobody pushed me forward and much of the information I received was against the direction I wanted to move. I had to rely what I knew to be right for me to make the correct decisions in my life. You have many options open to you, chose wisely.

I know hormones are right.
I don't plan to alter my body surgically. Same way I love tattoos & piercing but would never get them myself.
giving it some further though, i'm silly for my initial thoughts(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

I fell into the trap of social construct myself and was only focusing on the result

not on the journey itself.
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Dena

Sway: Good luck in therapy and I hope it helps. PM me if I can answer any questions for you.
Rebirth Date 1982 - PMs are welcome - Use [email]dena@susans.org[/email] or Discord if your unable to PM - Skype is available - My Transition
If you are helped by this site, consider leaving a tip in the jar at the bottom of the page or become a subscriber
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luna nyan

Pursue therapy - much as many report mixed results, I do believe with the right person you will get a better understanding of yourself.  Just be clear in your reasoning - if you come across as reasonable and sane, you're muc more likely to get to where you want to be.

Personally, I was diagnosed as mtf leaning, but chose not to do anything about it for quite a few yeas,other than finishing electro.  I've been on HRT for 3 years and a bit now, effectively with transition level blood work, but have no intentions on transitioning.

I started HRT to prevent male age related changes - avoiding them has prevented my dysphasia from getting to breaking point and allows me to continue to function as male.
Drifting down the river of life...
My 4+ years non-transitioning HRT experience
Ask me anything!  I promise you I know absolutely everything about nothing! :D
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kelly_aus

Quote from: Dena on June 19, 2015, 09:37:12 AM
I am pretty new to the concept of hormone blockers but I suspect there are several factors. If you are young and developing bone mass there could be problems but they do put young children on them to delay puberty. If you are active, take  calcium and vitamin D but lack hormones as I do, you can resist the loss of bone mass. In comes down to a discussion with your doctor covering cost vs benefits.

Puberty blockers and testosterone blockers are not quite the same thing.. And not having some kind of sex hormone can and will lead to osteoporosis in the medium to long term, regardless of any 'supplements' you might take.
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Rejennyrated

Quote from: Grell4SpiritAnimal on June 18, 2015, 07:38:19 PM
Hiya! (I wasn't sure whether to put this in the Transition: Therapy or Non-Binary Section, so I just put it here  :) )

I identify as being gender-fluid, but more on the femme side, with body disphoria (I have a male body, which I believe being born into was a mistake, and I wish to change my body to reflect/ express my more feminine personality). As a result of this, I feel I need to see my GP, who would then refer me to a therapist (as per NHS norm as a UK resident), in order to be assessed to hopefully get medical treatments to make my body more feminine.
However, as I don't feel like I'm a fully transwoman, and probably couldn't stay as total woman for the rest of my life due to my gender-fluid nature, and I don't believe I suffer from any issues such as major depression or anxiety, I feel like doctors would feel like I was undeserving of gender disphoria treatment, and I wouldn't get the treatment I feel I need to allow me to express myself and function better as a person, but don't deserve.

Does anybody have any advice on this matter? Any input will be greatly appreciated!   ;D
Yes my advice is that you are overthinking this. To some extent our self definition is nothing more than a convennient shorthand for how we feel about certain aspects of ourselves. The problem is that, in my experience, no two people use the same yardsticks, so what you might call gender fluid I might well think of as merely a flexible non gender rule driven woman - which is me...

Now I call myself a woman - but, I seldom wear skirts or dresses, I never wear makeup, I am unashamedly an alpha, I am anything but submissive and passive, I am forceful and strong and I am highly technically competent... but at times I've also been a foster mother, a home-maker, a carer, and I have a strong nurturing nature etc etc - seen through some eyes I could indeed be called fluid... its my own decision to instead rewrite the definitions to suit myself. I never doubt that I am a "full" woman whatever that means - because the term is meaningless anyway... so I may as well appropriate it if that helps my cause. As neither you nor I can ever know what it is to be anyone else... ultimately when the chips are down I am really just a "FULL ME".

Now the point is I found ways to get treatment in the UK and so will you. (and remember mine was a full 40 years ago which was even more tricky - and is also why it took over 10 years to get through and round the system!) :P Ok I will admit I had money, which made things easier, but believe me there are several things you can do here and to some extent most people do these anyway. Firstly you can find out what the particular clinic you attend places emphasis on, and then what you need to do is massage your presentation to come as close to that as possible without compromising your integrity.

You dont need to tick all the boxes and I'm not suggesting that you lie to anyone - its more a case of just, as a journalist would say, "angling your presentation" - that is you exploit those things you have in your favour and you use them as a foil for things that are not - which you simply dont mention.

Yes some GIC's are going to be more difficult than others, so you may find that you need to take time to work out which one will suit you best and then find a ways to see them, but there will be a route through, and lot of it will simply be about using the right language - for example if you met me I'd put a LOT of money on the fact that you would think I'm gender queer and fluid - and perhaps I am ;) - but I never say that ;D - I just say I am an alpha female with a strong masculine backbone.

If I said I was gender fluid lots of people would go into orbit and start being awkward - even now 30+ years after I was postop... but because I describe it instead in terms of being a strong and sometimes masculine woman - they have no problem with that - and in fact I am much admired for having the courage to be authentic

So you see a lot of this is about playing with semantics... finding ways to present your truth in language that allows other people to give you what you need, without having to ask all sorts of awkward questions - and thats all you have to do. You dont have to change anything you are - or do - you just have to find the "right" words to describe it to those who wont quite "get it" otherwise.
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Willowicious

Thank you all for your advice and support! It's been really helpful! :D I've booked and appointment with a GP and will hopefully be referred to a GIC ^_^


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AnonyMs

I'm not in the UK and I'm m2f, but I have been on HRT for years and present male. I may as well be non-binary for all the external difference it makes.

For practical reasons I'm presenting male and I've made that very clear to my endo and psych. I've had no problems them at at all, just the opposite in fact.

In Sydney at least, as long as you're sane I think you'd have no problems doing whatever you need to. I've read so many horror stories about people having problems with the medical profession that I thought I would have difficulty with what I wanted. I spent/wasted a lot of time looking at how to work around the system (and did for a while) and that delayed me getting proper help a long time. I'm pretty sure anything is possible if you have determination and money, but its simply not necessary. You do need to find the right people though, and that might be difficult. I may have got lucky with that (I did my research on Susans though).

I've found the main problem is being sure in what I want, and that's where therapy (and HRT) helped a lot. I'd go so far as to say all my problems have been self made, except that I didn't know back then what I do now. There's a lot of misinformation around.

The main thing is to start start your journey and see where it leads. You'll find yourself at the end.
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