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Help people hitting on me.

Started by ChristineHaylett, June 16, 2015, 11:00:18 AM

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ChristineHaylett

I still don't feel petty despite people hitting on me :(
So I went shopping today to buy some clothes to cheer me up was wondering how they look along side a photo from yesterday in my dem jacket



You will only be truly happy when you learn to accept yourself.
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iKate

Quote from: ChristineShearing on June 19, 2015, 02:23:02 PM
I still don't feel petty despite people hitting on me :(
So I went shopping today to buy some clothes to cheer me up was wondering how they look along side a photo from yesterday in my dem jacket

You look absolutely FABULOUS.

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ChristineHaylett

Quote from: iKate on June 19, 2015, 03:04:06 PM
You look absolutely FABULOUS.
Thank you , do you think that silver belt works well with the red/black/white dress ?
You will only be truly happy when you learn to accept yourself.
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iKate

Quote from: ChristineShearing on June 19, 2015, 03:15:57 PM
Thank you , do you think that silver belt works well with the red/black/white dress ?

I think so. It doesn't seem to clash but brings out your waistline nicely.
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jessical

The red/black/white dress photo is my favorite :)  The silver belt works very well with it.  You need some red shoes to go with it...or silver shoes would be cool too ;)
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V M

Another vote for the stripey dress and I think red shoes would set it off nicely  :)
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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awilliams1701

I think you look pretty good.

I'm looking forward to this happening to me even if I don't like guys. I'm not quite there yet. However I recently got someone to do my eye makeup (its in my avatar, but the picture doesn't do it justice compared to how it looked in real life) and I wanted to jump the girl in the mirror. I looked that good. Unfortunately I haven't been able to duplicate the results on my own and most days I don't wear makeup since I already have a hard enough time getting to work by 9 anyway.
Ashley
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ChristineHaylett

Quote from: awilliams1701 on June 19, 2015, 03:43:50 PM
I think you look pretty good.

I'm looking forward to this happening to me even if I don't like guys. I'm not quite there yet. However I recently got someone to do my eye makeup (its in my avatar, but the picture doesn't do it justice compared to how it looked in real life) and I wanted to jump the girl in the mirror. I looked that good. Unfortunately I haven't been able to duplicate the results on my own and most days I don't wear makeup since I already have a hard enough time getting to work by 9 anyway.

Oh I I could not go aday with out my make up, even when I don't go out for a day.

Thank you everyone for such kind words, my mission over the next 2 weeks to find red shoe's :).
I'm love shopping for clothes my only problem is I can't seem to find day dresses lol
You will only be truly happy when you learn to accept yourself.
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ChristineHaylett

Quote from: iKate on June 19, 2015, 03:25:36 PM
I think so. It doesn't seem to clash but brings out your waistline nicely.

Thank you , I find skate skirts and dresses help bring out a waist line.

I can't wait until my hormones kick in so I don't have to fake the top half , some face changes would be nice too.
You will only be truly happy when you learn to accept yourself.
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Sydney_NYC

Even though I'm not into men, getting hit on by them is affirming, especially when they do it in front of your wife. I once had one guy continue to hit on my after telling him I'm happily married to my wife (who was standing right beside me.) I've also been hit on my other woman and enjoyed that. Unfortunately about 70% of the time, when it's a guy they creep me out. The last guy that hit on my the other day coming out of the subway station was actually very gentleman like and charming. (Commenting on how he noticed me in the crowded subway car.) It was a nice change from many that is just short of a cat-call.
Sydney





Born - 1970
Came Out To Self/Wife - Sept-21-2013
Started therapy - Oct-15-2013
Laser and Electrolysis - Oct-24-2013
HRT - Dec-12-2013
Full time - Mar-15-2014
Name change  - June-23-2014
GCS - Nov-2-2017 (Dr Rachel Bluebond-Langner)


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iKate


Quote from: Sydney_NYC on June 19, 2015, 04:46:37 PM
Even though I'm not into men, getting hit on by them is affirming, especially when they do it in front of your wife. I once had one guy continue to hit on my after telling him I'm happily married to my wife (who was standing right beside me.) I've also been hit on my other woman and enjoyed that. Unfortunately about 70% of the time, when it's a guy they creep me out. The last guy that hit on my the other day coming out of the subway station was actually very gentleman like and charming. (Commenting on how he noticed me in the crowded subway car.) It was a nice change from many that is just short of a cat-call.

I find it affirming but it's just an annoyance now. It's not even nice men my age it's older ones who I have zero interest in
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Gabrielle_22

Honestly, this is often no more than online street harassment. People who do it--in my case, almost entirely men--are often simply responding to what they perceive to be a pretty face and/or body, and they then--since we are so often simply sexual objects waiting for their male attention in their minds--attempt to hit on us. With older men who do this, there is also sometimes an element of the men attempting to prove they still got game, which is why such men tend to go after women who appear significantly younger than they are, usually in their late teens to late twenties, and often women who also are pretty and give off some vibe of vulnerability or availability (in their mind), both of which usually simply mean femininity but can also connote shyness, aloneness, nervousness, etc. Indeed, I have been harassed disproportionately so far by older men, and it is usually exacerbated by how I have presented myself--most harassment comes when I am wearing overtly feminine clothing and noticeable makeup. None of this means, obviously, that looking like that grants them a reason to harass you, since they should not, but I know that how I choose to go out or how my Facebook/Twitter profile looks like will determine, to a degree, how much I am likely to be harassed. But I am proud to look the way I want to look, as should a pretty woman like yourself, so I simply accept this as a fact of life in the real world and online.

So, take it as a positive in that you are clearly pretty to them (and you are!). Harassment can be affirming in an ironic way, at times, even as it is more often than not also demeaning, sexist, and even endangering. But also always be aware of yourself. You are under no obligation to respond to these random strangers at all. Responding can give them power over you even if you say no. Ignore them unless you feel compelled to shut one down for rudeness.

Quote from: awilliams1701 on June 19, 2015, 03:43:50 PM
I'm looking forward to this happening to me even if I don't like guys. I'm not quite there yet. However I recently got someone to do my eye makeup (its in my avatar, but the picture doesn't do it justice compared to how it looked in real life) and I wanted to jump the girl in the mirror. I looked that good. Unfortunately I haven't been able to duplicate the results on my own and most days I don't wear makeup since I already have a hard enough time getting to work by 9 anyway.

Be careful what you wish for. Yes, the attention can be affirming. I used to think it was mainly complimentary at first. But then I experienced how terrifying and power-denying it can be to be harassed, especially when you are alone and when your unpassable voice is not your friend, since revealing you are trans* can get you in physical danger from the very man who approached you. Moreover, harassment, once it begins, really doesn't end very easily. It can be overwhelming--men saying demeaning things to you down this block, that block, that block, etc. And when you are unable to move because you are at a traffic intersection or against a wall or in an enclosed space and you are being propositioned by someone much larger than you--all of which I have experienced--you may not be enjoying it anymore.

It can be affirming--but it can be much, much more. Just be careful, since we trans* girls are almost always more at risk in these situations.
"The time will come / when, with elation / you will greet yourself arriving / at your own door, in your own mirror / and each will smile at the other's welcome, / and say, sit here. Eat. / You will love again the stranger who was your self./ Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart / to itself, to the stranger who has loved you / all your life, whom you ignored" - Walcott, "Love after Love"
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amber roskamp

I feel your pain... Though do to the fact that I have a anonymous pictureless Facebook account most of my getting hit on comes in person. so at first I was somewhat flattered.... But it puts me in a dangerous and awkward situation. If the guy tries to get me to talk to him and I speak to him with MY voice he is gonna find out the woman that he is harassing is trans, and how is he gonna react with when he finds out (if he didn't know already know) that I am trans.

I do have some experience with online stuff (okcupid)x but I put only queer people could see my profile so there isn't many bi guys in the area and only a handful of then have tried to get with me.


I tell my housemate that I get catcalled all the time and they don't believe me, then I went to an ice cream place and got catcallled while he was with me.
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awilliams1701

I'm totally aware I could end up hating it. For now it would be nice. I haven't felt desirable in years.
Ashley
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