I 100% identify as male, but my interests more align with what people would consider girly things, mostly lolita fashion (no way related to the book, trust me!). I first got into lolita as a way to try and conform to my assign gender, but I ended up falling in love with it and still go to meet ups even though I'm now out as male. Currently I've only been wearing Ouji-Kei, which is similar to lolita but is intended to look like a prince rather than a princess, but I miss wearing all the dresses in my wardrobe... (note: my desire to wear dresses is only towards lolita fashion.)

Does my desire to wear lolita mean I'm not really trans? I told somebody else and they suggested that I was non binary, but I don't feel comfortable identifying that way.

You can still do anything you want. Identify as anything you like. Eventually you find the words that describe you best. Be comfortable with the person you and where and do what you feel most comfortable doing. Besides dresses are so much fun to wear. Hugs
Mariah

I feel that the labels are not nearly as important as the way you feel when being yourself and dressed the way you like.  I also would like to think that manhood could take a few lessons from feminism and expand the boundaries of what is acceptable.  Not that long ago women in this culture rarely wore pants.  Just a few more generations back and guys dressed up with powdered wigs.  I am in the camp of thinking that gender expression and gender roles are more of a cultural construct. 

I hope you will help deconstruct these silly paradigms and wear what fits you.  You will be doing men a favor IMO.

Clothes really don't make the man.  I choked on suits and ties for decades but never felt like a man at all.

I seem to recall reading in one of the "Gender Outlaw" books about an FTM transgender who is a drag queen.  Yes, you read that right.  He transitioned from female to male, identifies as male, but performs as a drag queen in flamboyant female dress.

So the idea that you still want to dress Lolita (I am very familiar with Japanese culture and am a big, big fan of Hatsune Miku, Clean Tears and Jimmy Thumb P, so I know what you are talking about) is still just fine.  It does not mean that you are not FTM transgender.  It just means you are keeping the same hobby.  After all, you don't want to dress Lolita for everyday, do you?

Nothing wrong with being a crossdressing guy.

Quote from: wherearemyshoes on June 18, 2015, 06:08:14 PM
I 100% identify as male, but my interests more align with what people would consider girly things, mostly lolita fashion (no way related to the book, trust me!). I first got into lolita as a way to try and conform to my assign gender, but I ended up falling in love with it and still go to meet ups even though I'm now out as male. Currently I've only been wearing Ouji-Kei, which is similar to lolita but is intended to look like a prince rather than a princess, but I miss wearing all the dresses in my wardrobe... (note: my desire to wear dresses is only towards lolita fashion.)

Does my desire to wear lolita mean I'm not really trans? I told somebody else and they suggested that I was non binary, but I don't feel comfortable identifying that way.

Mixup with Fairy Kei "Dollita"

Ahhhh it's too cute

Can't really answer your q, have similar issues 

Wish I still had pikahs of this lolita dress I had the chance of wearing

Do what ever make you happy at least this didnt happen to you being born but on the ultrasound showed I was girl I was supposed to be named Megan doctors were so sure my mom didn't even considered a guy name so at the last minute they picked out matt even though I hate the name so I came up with akuma

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I liked reading your question because it was very validating. Wondering whether I'm butch enough to be "really" trans, among other things, has kept me from going forward, and has caused much distress.

I agree that men can wear dresses if they want to, and that being open to lessons from feminism can help lead one toward a healthier, more authentic masculinity.

I went back to your greeting letter and the term "gender bending" came to mind. You may also be somewhat fluid. I can only suggest ideas but you are the one who needs to find the label that fits. It's not easy and in my case I am finding the asexual label I wore for many years might be wrong and I could be pansexual instead. This is a bit of a surprise to me because I never heard the word pansexual until a few weeks ago but as a label it does a far better job of describing me than I though possible. That doesn't mean I am sure of the label because I haven't tested it in the real world yet.

I still like dresses too! It's just a piece of fabric. Society shouldn't be able to dictate what you wear based on their idea of gender. Flowy drapey dress-like clothing used to be the norm for both genders back in the day. Wear whatever makes you feel happy. I used to be super self conscious about wearing girlier clothes when I started my transition. I was trying to distance myself from any possibility of being misgendered. Now I'm a little more relaxed. I get strange looks sometimes but I'm (mostly) beyond letting that bother me. I'm sure you rock the lolita look. 

Quote from: suzifrommd on June 18, 2015, 07:08:59 PM
Nothing wrong with being a crossdressing guy.

Cannot agree more. I visualize "transgender" as a variable scale. It's definitely not an "all or nothing" and we sit somewhere on that scale..some move one way or the other, but we are all there.
Wear what feels good!

I can sort of identity with u I wear dresses out my wife doent want me to do it at jer work.I shave my body hair I just wear a dress and panties.Don't wear a bra make up or a wig.

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I meant at her work. lol

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I like wearing nude pantyhose was wondering do u wear them and do u wear underwear in or outside or non at all?

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If and when I wear panty hose I always went outside the undies. But that's just me.

Quote from: bchigdon10 on June 26, 2015, 03:15:51 PM
I like wearing nude pantyhose was wondering do u wear them and do u wear underwear in or outside or non at all?

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Quote from: wherearemyshoes on June 18, 2015, 06:08:14 PM
I 100% identify as male, but my interests more align with what people would consider girly things, mostly lolita fashion (no way related to the book, trust me!). I first got into lolita as a way to try and conform to my assign gender, but I ended up falling in love with it and still go to meet ups even though I'm now out as male. Currently I've only been wearing Ouji-Kei, which is similar to lolita but is intended to look like a prince rather than a princess, but I miss wearing all the dresses in my wardrobe... (note: my desire to wear dresses is only towards lolita fashion.)

Does my desire to wear lolita mean I'm not really trans? I told somebody else and they suggested that I was non binary, but I don't feel comfortable identifying that way.

Omg hugs hehe I love Loli to

Thats how I do too.
  Hugs fro Beverley.

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Nothing wrong with being a cross dressing guy, ill hands up admit i will be once ive transitioned

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