Hi there.  I've been on hormones for 5+ years and am looking at surgery within the next year.  My question is for post-ops who have had vaginal sex since their operation.

I've done anal sex with a partner, and it isn't bad (I never top, I have no interest in using my penis and at this point it's just a flap of skin anyway.)  I like being the "receiver" but one thing I don't like about anal is the feeling of having to poop.  I'm hopeful that vaginal sex will not trigger a similar sensation.  The answer won't change my desire for surgery, but could anyone offer a comparison of the feeling between vaginal and anal sex when your partner is inside you?  I'm sorry for the vulgarity of the question, but I don't know how else to ask it.   

Quote from: mikkig on May 18, 2015, 01:56:37 PM
I've done anal sex with a partner, and it isn't bad (I never top, I have no interest in using my penis and at this point it's just a flap of skin anyway.)  I like being the "receiver" but one thing I don't like about anal is the feeling of having to poop.

This is kind of a reflex of feeling full there. Its only there anally.
You might first try a smaller dildo to warm up... I'd recommend good silicone or covering with a condom...
and only use dildos for that purpose, with a flange or handle so nothing gets lost in there...

also use a lot of lube...
remember using a condom...

you might try some gentle prostate stimulation, its a spot towards the stomach...
you can look up where it is...


hugs

One of my friends irl talks about how much better vaginal sex is then anal. She said she hasn't even had anal sex since she got a vagina. I don't have a vagina and I never will so I can't really give u a detailed description of what it feels like. 

I'm guessing their would be absolutely no reason that the pooping sensation should be a part of vaginal. I mean u aren't going to be stretching that hole. The only thing that might be similar is the prostate being rubbed. It will probably move to the same spot as a cis women's vagina's g-spot but I'm guessing that will be the most familiar thing to anal. That's only speculation. Again I didn't have surgery.

I've never had anal sex, but I may be able to help anyway just from my experience with dilation - once or twice in 3 years I've had that "gotta go" feeling, and it appears to be from a combination of very full bowels and pressure from the dilator. However, that has happened *very* rarely, and 99% of the time penetration (not talking about the dilator now) feels fantastic.   And yes, my prostate is now my G-spot, but I never liked that feeling pre-op and it feels *totally* different vaginally.

I've had cis female friends also say that certain positions and/or situations can occasionally trigger that same feeling, so it's not a quirk of trans anatomy. That said, as I understand it, the difference is that for anyone reporting this with vaginal sex they actually DID need to use the bathroom (if that makes sense - I get the impression from your description that anal feels that way even when there's no actual need?) and that it's really uncommon relative to simply enjoying yourself.

I've also never had anal, but had vaginal sex many times.

Never had a feeling like I needed to poop, but you do get, sometimes nearing orgasm a feeling of about to pee.

Quote from: Nicole on May 18, 2015, 06:40:17 PM
I've also never had anal, but had vaginal sex many times.

Never had a feeling like I needed to poop, but you do get, sometimes nearing orgasm a feeling of about to pee.

That's how it feels when ur about to have an anal orgasm too lol

That's the p-spot doing it's thing

I have had both anal and vaginal sex.. and Vaginal sex feels so much better and I don't get need to poop from it..

I was introduced to anal by ex-boyfriend, i was pre-op at that time.. I did like it.. I had not had anal sex since my SRS, as I do perfer vaginal sex. I have not even mentioned it yet to my current boyfriend, that I am prepared to do anal.

For me it is very different. I had both.

I did anal before srs, because I wanted to experience sex with a man. Just out of desperation, mind you. I didn't want him to wait for me. Anal is more painful for me.

It is not the same. I never do anal again. Vagina is it! I really enjoy it. It is exactly as I imagined it would be.

LOL I feel like the answer lady because I've been through these and more burning questions before, only I didn't have anyone to ask....I just bumbled ahead and did what I thought was right for me.

I never had sex of any kind before SRS...i had severe dysphoria so I refused to have anything to do with my birthdefect. After SRS, I've had alot of vaginal sex--had to make up for lost time.lol There are times after a long round of intercourse,or if it is very forceful or in various odd positions, I'll find I need to poo afterwards--All that activity is bound to get things moving.lol

I never did anal until after I got married and I didn't like it--too painful and definitely made me feel like I had to poo. I would have experienced it more to see if it would get better, but I heard a rumor going round my workplace/subdivision about the owners wife needing a reconstruct because he'd been using her rear entrance for so long, he'd stretched it out to the point of being...you know....no longer tight/nice/attractive. I decided go give up on anal out of fear I'd an ass-rejuvenation lol, and I just can't afford any surgeries right now.

Anyways, the vag sensations are totally diff from anal and I think you'll enjoy it much much more.

  Let me give you my perspective as a non-op who's been getting to know my body intimately for a long time.  I haven't had anal sex with a partner but I've played around with it here and there as masturbation for a very long time.  Early on I sometimes got that feeling of needing a bowl movement.  I really don't seem to have this problem though if my bowls are mostly clear.  Now when I get aroused about the idea of masturbating and know I'm going to insert something my body seems to get the idea and wants to have a thorough bowl movement ahead of time.  It's such a strange thing but it really consistently works that way.  I definitely want to be as empty as possible because any feces coming down into the rectum is an annoyance to clean off the toy but it also actually interferes with the way my rectal muscles respond sexually - it kind of kills the internal arousal and response.  I've learned that if it happens and I take out the toy, clean it off, clear my bowls again, then go back and insert the toy again the sexual response returns to normal.

  I can't stress enough the need to experiment to find out exactly what works best for you anally.  It took me a hell of a long time to get to where I am now but it was well worth the effort.  In my case I narrowed it down to one particular rubber-sheathed vibrator dildo.  I don't use the vibration, I just need the stiffness of the core with the bit of squish on the outside and the flexible head to get around bends smoothly.  Length, diameter and shape mattered also.  Everyone says use tons of lube but I have to use as little as possible just to get it inside so there's enough internal friction to stimulate me properly.  I don't slide it in and out much so I don't need the major lube - I use very subtle movements to get the job done.  I also found that pulling the outer part up hard against the perineum is very key in stimulating the whole upper face of the anal passage and it allows me to feel and believe that it's actually a vagina.  I've seen vids of this pulling-up technique with an actual penis in vagina - it really works well on a lot of women!  The levering effect it creates inside me also puts pressure on certain strategic places.

  Overall it is a very convincing experience in terms of feeling like a vagina, including the way I orgasm and clench.  It rarely ever feels like a need to poop now.  Getting filled well-up length-wise with the toy seems to help avoid this sensation also - in my case I'm generally staying in a narrow range of 4.5 to 5.5 inches inserted length.  This is enough to push into the inner sphincter if I desire, but that makes having a clear lower intestine all the more important.  I don't always go that far with it but it can trigger the most enormous orgasms when it's done right.

  Until I figured this out properly I didn't get much reward from anal play, but getting it right for me has been a success beyond words!  With enough experimentation and attention to detail you may be able to make your anal experience better.  Hopefully some of this helps.

Quote from: januarysunshine on June 21, 2015, 09:46:53 PM

I never did anal until after I got married and I didn't like it--too painful and definitely made me feel like I had to poo. I would have experienced it more to see if it would get better, but I heard a rumor going round my workplace/subdivision about the owners wife needing a reconstruct because he'd been using her rear entrance for so long, he'd stretched it out to the point of being...you know....no longer tight/nice/attractive. I decided go give up on anal out of fear I'd an ass-rejuvenation lol, and I just can't afford any surgeries right now.

If it hurts use enough organic lube.. and don't switch directly to vaginal because of bacteria from anal... use a condom..

If you take your time and find the right spots it can be very pleasurable...towards the p/gspot...

well if not too extreme objects or practices are used a rejuvenation should be far off..
unless for other medical purposes...

hugs

Laura, thats actually great to know! I'd be open to experimentation with a partner but after hearing about Mrs So and So needing to get repairs done lol, i'd decided not to go any further...but hearing this news makes me ceel better and like I can give it a go sometime:)

The only time I've ever come anywhere close to doing anal, was when as an openly trans sixteen year old, I was forcibly "used" by two homosexual boys at school, who thought that because I wanted to be a girl I would not mind. I suppose you could call that Rape.

On that day I resolved that anyone who EVER tried anal sex with me again was going to end up severely injured and, if I could manage it, in prison for sexual assault.

For those who enjoy it, that is fine, but for me it is the ultimate no go!

That said vaginal sex is great so why would I ever want to do anal?