Was there ever an instance where not for the purpose of specifically letting a friend or relative become aware of you being trans, but just in casual conversation you bought up the fact that you were transitioning , without anyone else bringing it up. I'm just curious because my situation is weird where all the people in my neighborhood are not saying anything about the fact that I'm changing. I stand there talking and neither of us mention the fact of my feminization and its so absurd. Its not important its just like the twilight zone. Like today this restaurant manager I've know for years walked by me while I was sitting in an outside café and called my name and asked how I was while scanning my clothes top to bottom ,. I was wearing skinny jeans with a pull over dress. A little unconventional , but comfortable.

I've done it with some colleagues who have become my allies.

I was just wondering if I should just ease the confusion with all these people I see on a regular bases and have small conversations with just to haphazardly say oh ! in case your wondering I'm transitioning, I'm mean its really no big thing, but it really is a strange experience, like today the owner of this cafe I go to  passed me in the store and stared at my breasts, she's female by the way.

If you know her well, you might just want to wave her over next time and maybe casually say " I realize there are some things you may be seeing different in my look." then just tell her there are characteristics she doesn't see that are inside.
Perhaps it will sorta "put the ball in her court"  to accept that knowledge graciously (hopefully) or perhaps even to embrace the revelation.

Quote from: Marlee on June 20, 2015, 07:20:33 PM
If you know her well, you might just want to wave her over next time and maybe casually say " I realize there are some things you may be seeing different in my look." then just tell her there are characteristics she doesn't see that are inside.
Perhaps it will sorta "put the ball in her court"  to accept that knowledge graciously (hopefully) or perhaps even to embrace the revelation.

I doubt that there's any problem with her accepting she'd lose a large mocha and an orange customer, She's really nice though. I always go in there dressed properly according to my true gender , It's just strange having things unspoken . I've been complimented by the barista's on my nail polish. I go in to all the coffee places the same as my avatar.

You can't tell how people with react.  I told the people I work with as a group.  Some have encouraged me as a woman, commenting on what I wear or just asking me how I am doing.  Others just work with me and never mention the fact that I have changed.   So, even if you tell them, there may be no change.   They may feel that it is best to treat your changes as if they never happened - it is their way of treating you as a woman.

That said I find it strange when people avoid any reference to the fact that I smell better and am wearing cuter clothes.  It just seems really strange to me.

A few times I have brought up my change of gender to others and they become apologetic - they feel I've just been forced to out myself and hold themselves at fault.   It all depends on how people feel about trans issues.

it's almost like your in a parallel universe where you standing there talking to them completely different , but they don't seem to notice. It's pretty funny , but weird, it's like an absurdist novel.

People can usually tell one way or the other. So why not?

I guess I could break the ice by asking how they like my dress.

True. they likely already know, but are afraid to make it a point of conversation. An innocuous question from you might help them feel more open to acknowledge and let them know it's OK with you to do so.

what goes through someone's mind when one day you look like this than that with never mention any thing about it.

I attended a women's writing workshop a few years ago and on the first day the other women at the workshop seemed to be somewhat nervous around me until I introduced myself to the group as being a transwoman.  After that everything was fine and I was just one of the girls.

that's good

I'm a stay at home Mom and go a lot of places with my 2 year old. When I'm talk to people for awhile the subject of his Dad comes up, I generally will tell people at that point that I'm his Dad and I'm transgender. I started doing it mainly because my future ex-wife explained about how she felt awkward when people would treat her like she's not related to our son. After doing it and so far I haven't had anyone react negatively its kind of reliving to be so open. I actually got hit on today by someone at my apartment area who knows about me which was kinda nice/kinda weird (first time being hit on).

I don't offer it up. You don't ask, I don't tell.

My voice has dropped, I've had top surgery, I'm growing facial hair, I've changed my name, and there are still quite a few people I see regularly through work that have not asked what's going on with me. Neighbors, I've been here a few years and I don't talk to any of them. I feel like people will ask if and when they're ready to have that conversation, and since they're not a part of my personal life (or they'd already know), I don't see the need to do any informing.

Being over 3 decades post everything and, as you would put it, (I really despise this term) "passing" without question I have the luxury that every single time I choose to offer it up it is freely, because there literally hasnt been a single instance in well over 25 years when I have been forced to disclose. Of course I would always say that I have a "trans past", rather than a "trans present", as having long since had GRS I no longer percieve myself to be at odds with my sex.

That said I don't approve of hiding my past as if it is a guilty secret, neither do I approve of wearing a tee-shirt banner advertising it. Therefore the times when I freely choose to disclose are those where it will have maximum impact, and make people realise that their image of what this all means is wrong.

One such occasion came in my first term at medical school when we were being introduced to trans issues, and of course it was all being presented as some sort of slightly strange and unusual condition that my fellow students, who had by then elected me as their year representative, would be unlikely to ever encounter.

I stood up and announced that this was in fact so "unusual" that their own year rep had undergone tretment for it in her youth. That deeply shocked a lot of people - students and staff, because as someone said, "I never would have expected that from you" but it helped them to see it not as some oddity but as a normal medical condition, which can be treated, and which deserves full respect and consideration.

Hopefully they will all be better doctors as a result. That is the sort of situation in which I will freely disclose.

nice story

Sometimes my wife and I will be out socializing and we will be inevitably asked about how long ago we got married.  When we tell them "21 years", it certainly causes confusion and more questions, like:

"How did you manage to swing that?"
"So you're not legally married yet?"
"What country did you have to fly to?"

Umm, hello...  Used to be a dude...

someone finally asked me a question related to my transition. I was sitting on a bench today in Chicago , it was really hot and humid  , so I had no bra and a T-->-bleeped-<- on, I'm siting there talking to this lady who is a pan handler that I've know a long time and we're just talking then when I get up to leave she says " so your growing tits " I 've finally been asked .