Categorizing gender and sexual behavior is a uniquely Christian, Western civilization kind of thing. The American Indians and most Asian tribal societies, and the Buddhists, understood and far better understand the fluidity of gender.
To me, "transgender" describes a broad spectrum of personalities and behavior. I am not purely male, but I am not purely female either.
The thing I have been struggling with lately is the interaction between biology and social influence. My mother and sister were not very feminine, and I grew up craving much more femininity than what existed in my childhood home. But having been told "no" implicitly and expressly by society, I conformed my behavior and learned how to be male.
I think that if I had been allowed to transition in childhood, I would have been very feminine. Yet, in the early stages of transitioning as an adult, I keep compromising with femininity -- wearing panties and bikinis in solid, masculine colors, avoiding frills and ruffles, and so forth. But a small part of me keeps saying that I secretly loved all the frills and girly colors as an elementary school child, and makes me wonder how and where things will be farther along, and when I start hormones.
Transgender to me is an umbrella I can shelter and live under. I understand those MTFs who want to finish their transition, blend into the female population and go full stealth, but that is not me.
So, to quote Martin Luther, "Here I stand."
