Usually I'm comfortable being trans and i see myself as a guy and am happy feeling like a guy, but when i start to PMS then i start questioning if im really trans or if im just doing it for attention. I start to get scared that i might really identify as a girl when im finally comfortable being trans. Is this normal? This usually happens when i start to get my period. I want to transition so badly but at the same time im afraid that i might just be lying to myself or faking being trans. Like i somehow subconsciously convinced myself that i am. Does anyone else feel like this? Im having so much trouble coping with everything recently..

I think I feel that way. I sometimes go through girly phases and I have noticed that they happen when I'm pmsing, but I haven't kept track of it enough to be certain. I think it has to do with fluctuating hormones. I read somewhere that when estrogen levels peak, even cis women exhibit behavioral changes during that part of their cycle. The only one I remember is that vocal pitch might get higher. I really ought to start bookmarking or screencapping the stuff I read...

I also get the "maybe I'm just a silly girl who thinks she's a man" feelings but those just happen all the time.

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hormones can do magical and weird things its easy to see how that could cause you to feel more girly than normal, psycologicly speaking your period is perhaps one of the most clearly feminine things that happens to you, and dealing with it could easily trigger thoughts of if this happens to me can i really be trans. I know there where times especially before HRT that I questioned myself, I had someone tell me once that I just needed to get laid and I would like being male after that, I even considered it a few times but ultimatly I realize its just listening to fear and minor doubts.

So I say if you usually feel like a man then your a man, even if hormone levels make you sometimes feel a bit feminine, on the other side if you feel like a woman your a woman even if for a while after climax you feel relaxed and are not as dysphoric. Plus remember after you start Testosterone those monthly events will stop after a few months so that should help resolve it.

Serena

Iit's important not to overthink this. Let's face it -- PMS just sucks. I'm long since past it, but I well remember the havoc it used to wreak with my emotions. Feeling worthless and questioning myself was a big part of the package.

Are you seeing a gender therapist -- or any kind of therapist, for that matter? This sounds like just the sort of thing one could help you sort out.