I am male (for now), 28yo, and finally came to terms with being transgender. It is something that i have been struggling with since childhood, and had to repress to avoid the ridicule of others. I explored it a bit in my first marriage, but after that fell apart due to my partner cheating, i swore that i would try and suppress it again and live "normally". It only took a few months before i met a new girl, and things moved very quickly in this relationship out of a need to hold on to that normal life that everyone else seemed to have.
We were quickly engaged after 8 months, and had plans to get married this year. While we were dating, one of the activities that we enjoyed was getting our nails done, i especially enjoyed it because it made me feel very feminine. It was the one activity that we shared that i always looked forward to every few weeks, as there were so many colors to try! After she went through some rough times with work situations, we both were very depressed, but for different reasons. I was struggling a lot to come to terms with my gender, and eventually i found myself really wanting to dress up again and express my femininity. I was also very unhappy with my body, in the context of being male (protruding adams apple, skinny physique, genitals), and wished that i could just be a women & get rid of the bits that i hated. After starting couples therapy to try and preserve our relationship, i also began seeing my own therapist to explore these things. I could lie to myself no more, i really did want to be something else on the outside, and so that was the start of my journey. It was rough coming out to my fiance and watching our relationship crumble before my eyes, especially when she had already been through so much, but i just couldn't lie to her about how i felt about myself anymore (especially with an impending marriage).
I just started my transition process last month, and i look forward to each milestone along the way. I am excited to have joined these boards and to meet new friends
-Luci
