Anyway, I have been going to a therapist (psychiatrist) for quite a time now. I've had 5 sessions so far (~ 1 month apart each). At first he seemed ok, although the sessions where rather short - like 30 min or so.
Still, there are a few negative points:
-Now and then I asked him for certain tips but he didn't say anything (should they?)
-Sometimes I feel I'm just saying the same things over and over, while on a previous session I had explained on detail how I felt.
-Today was (almost) the last straw: When I got in I was surprised to see 6 more people inside; and no, it didn't seem like group therapy. They were older than me and seemed more like staff. They didn't say anything, just heard what I said. Needless to say, it made me a bit uncomfortable. I thought the sessions were supposed to be private and confidential.
At that time I didn't say anything 'cause I didn't want to appear weird or anything.
Last time I had given him a written summary of how I felt and what I thought. Today he asked me questions like "so you have dysphoria?", "have you ever thought of committing suicide?" "you know that operations are "damaging"?", "on a line between male and female where would you put yourself?"
(Regarding this the conversation was as follows:
"Him: If I draw a line here between two points: totally male and totally female, where would you put yourself?
Me: well it's not that simple but I would say somewhere on the female spectrum. Actually you would have to use a multi dimensional coordinate system if you want to do it that way.
Him: I don't know what they teach you at the University - I would prefer an answer on a simple line.
Me: (points at female range). Anyway, how do you define "male percentage" and "female percentage". Based on the interests of each person of the way he/ she presents him/herself?
Him: [no answer - changed subject]
")
In all these questions I wanted to say: are you ->-bleeped-<-in kidding me - I've already answered these questions in previous sessions 100%
-At some point he was asking me "about your fetish with long hair etc" (SAME things I've told him at least 3 times!) "do you prefer it blond or brown, how long? wavy or straight? are you sure you don't feel anything imagining short hair? (I mean why is this EVEN relevant?)
-Today he also asked me why I haven't done any steps to girl-fy (sorry couldn't find appropriate verb) myself (like laser, electrolysis...) (Well, because I was in denial all these years duh - I didn't even know some of these things)
I feel like the previous "detailed" session didn't happen. I wanted to tell him that he's asking the same things over and over but with all these people I couldn't do it (plus I just can't say it straightforward: You're asking me the same questions over and over, can I?)
It's like I'm standing on the same point, concerning therapy that is. (I know I could start laser, electrolysis but right now the financial situation is crazy - default is imminent)
edit: forgot to say, my mother came too today. She went in for a "mini session" after I finished. When she got in she was also very surprised to see all those people in there. She said "wow that's a lot of people" and he just smiled. He asked her various questions and told her that there are a lot of men who feel like women inside and some other things. She asked him some questions specifically about me but he didn't say anything. Generally he didn't leave her good impression.
Comments welcome.
edit no2: To be fair, I know (from a forum I'm not a member) a few trans people who are going to that therapist and things are going ~ok, at least to get the letter after a lengthy amount of time.
