I have been pondering this for a while and was wondering what others think or have experienced.

I wondered if this is one of the key's to passing more effectively for those that this is important to which I am one of those.

I seen it happen many times whether it is online or otherwise that girls who look good enough to pass but they say are getting miss gendered, getting clocked and so forth, I am puzzled.  I find the focus is so much on the physical aspects of look and presentation and mannerisms and nobody talks about the aspect of Female and Male energy. I do not know if this is immutable or not however I have experienced that it is critical to being accepted as either female or male convincingly through unsolicited feedback irregardless of what other giveaways to Trans that that I may present. For people who are attuned to such things which I am an admitted amateur this is the one thing people pick up on when I tell them I am trans* in person and once they absorb the news. I almost always get the feedback that I am very natural and my ENERGY  is very female so how would we know and what do you expect sort of thing and I am thinking but do you not see the obvious give a ways at least to me I am not a beauty queen it is not as superficial as that it is much deeper in looking at the whole.  To me this seems different than gender or not the whole part in determination of but another significant piece that affects how people read others and react outside of the obvious physical and observational cue's. The energy may create a lens that we present which people end of looking through whether they know it or not.

What have others experienced and what are your thoughts on how this plays out in real life including your success or not. Hopefully I explained myself well enough as it is not a practice a lot, misdirection or presentation sort of thing. It is something that is part of us and is used by everybody in communication and relationships. It is not I am more trans* than anybody else sort of discussion or otherwise just an invitation to discuss  points of view about something I have not seen discussed anywhere.

The most important thing in passing is attitude. People will pick up on the least little bit of nerve and then they will stare to try and figure out why that person is nervous. Sometimes they may not read the person but they are only looking for the reason why that person is nervous. On the other hand, under the intense examination, if you have any flaws, they will be found. I think it must be some evolutionary advantage to know the emotions of another by sight.

Many times I go out without makeup, short pants and a T shirt and nobody ever give me a second look. Even with my low voice, nobody has ever questioned me. I do have the advantage that they can't rattle my cage and as the result the only emotion they pick up from me is calm or happiness. They have no reason to look any deeper.

I did this when in boy clothes I confused people lol

I agree totally the attitude and confidence are so important to having good experiences however to me female or male energy seems to be different than or not totally explained by confidence. Like I mentioned I am by far no expert and sort of talking out loud I guess. When feedback is given to me people do not talk about confidence or attitude they literally talk about energy and being natural and I do not get the feeling they are talking about confidence as a unsaid substitute. This happens frequently enough that I know it is more than a random occurrence. I am confident mostly however over confidence also has its draw backs and I am nervous and less confidence at times, maybe there is a high correlation but I think energy can be separated from confidence as an independent but correlated variable. I have seen girls with confidence get miss gendered or read so there is something else at play and their behaviors and mannerisms are very good and so is their presentation. They get frustrated and upset which is totally understandable and then people come back and say they need more confidence and you will pass or some flaw gave them away; patch those things and all is good till next time chasing a never ending end state of perfection of some kind we all seem to hold in high regard and out there.

Here is an example that happened a few weeks ago  and it is mystical and spiritual in context and out of my normal day to day comfort zone to say the least. It is far enough out there that it caught me off guard.  I am not saying I am a believer however her interpretation was very unique and did not really support confidence on its own.

Example:

I was at a United church family event and I spent sometime with the Minister who is female and lesbian by the way not that it matters but it sets the stage so to speak. She knows I am Trans because I told her for a number of reasons which are not germane to the discussion. She said that unless somebody knows they will probably not know because my presentation is sorted enough but more importantly my energy is totally female. This feedback has happened numerous other times as mentioned previously with other people. She went on to say that in past lives I was most likely consistently female and that for what ever reason I wanted to try out male in this life however it did not work obviously and I needed to get back to my true natural energy and expression. I am not saying I am a proponent of this philosophy or belief system and am on the fence overall however her example and explanation was interesting and gave me food for thought how ENERGY plays into in passing when people seem to look for or notice these things. Reincarnation belief or not is not important.

I know this topic may be to abstract and non obvious hence why I am curious about others take however so is life and it is not always black and white. Hopefully I have given enough further context to help people understand that i am referring to.

I think the energy to which you state does boil down to confidence, mannerisms, presentation both vocally and physically and the but part is a big being naturally who you are. Its the combination of all of those the big one really is just being who you are not acting. I know I do not have any experience what so ever really but I can see that as I start to present as female from my DMAB I will most likely overcompensate in some way and getting over that with the confidence that will follow I will then have that energy that will shine through. Of course that is easier said then done and takes a lot of time and oddly in a way lack of effort so it is natural not effort that shows something is off to the other person. Kind of like makeup if its on light and more natural then it IMHO is more feminine then plastered on.

Will admit this is just opinion and not from any real experience just observation of how people act in general. Getting that energy is by no means an easy thing it has to come from you naturally I mean if you are naturally a nice person people pick up on that so to if you are a mean person etc.

I hope well all get that energy one day or all ready have it:)

Erica, I totally understand what you mean about female energy.

I don't have a the foggiest idea whether it helps me pass.

But it does wonders for my dysphoria. When I experience myself with female energy, it's the most amazing feeling - knowing I can make this impossible dream of becoming a woman actually come true.

As far as my personal experience goes I steadily began to pass better as I got further in my transition. It was a gradual process since there's so many factors that go into it but now I'm basically living my post transition life. I blend in and look at any other woman my age. For the longest time I didn't believe so even though everyone close to me was telling me otherwise. It wasn't until I was in women spaces where I really found out for myself that I was in fact passing completely. In the past year I hosted a baby shower, spent a week with friends where one of them didn't know my history and everything went smoothly there were never any clocking moments. No one has clocked me in the longest time and I also live in a pretty conservative area so if you can pass here, you can pass anywhere. When I was wasn't passing I was treated a lot differently in public so I know what the signs are of not passing and right now life is the complete opposite from back then.

I think a lot of the time these ladies that pass well visually, get read because of their voice. Like for example someone thinking they have their voice down but certain people can tell they've trained it thus giving them away.

Energy is a whole different issue and I think its also a generational thing. Older transitioners will definitely have a harder time with this than us young transitioners since we didn't live as adults in our assigned gender like not much of our lives was spent in the male role. Adolescence is like one of the few times in our human lives where we are free to express ourselves before the worries and constraints of the real/adult world come into our lives. So I think when you look at it from a bigger picture, you'll see its more difficult for someone that spent so long going through the motions to let go of that male energy and break those habits that became fixed in their conscience like mannerisms, how they talk, presentation, etc...which in the end amounts to how your energy is perceived.


Finally being seen as who you truly are is an amazing feeling that everyone deserves to experience.

I pass most of the time until I open my mouth, as I'm pre-T. If I get called masculine pronouns or words prior to talking, people usually keep using them. However, if I spoke first it's always ma'ams and she's, hence why I don't like talking in public much.

I guess I have more masculine energy than feminine, but my voice gives me away. That and my chest, but usually my voice.

Prior to realising I was trans I would get mistaken for a guy on occasion, usually when going to the bathroom or going somewhere with my family. I enjoyed being mistaken for a guy everywhere but when I was going to the bathroom, because the women that would mistake me for a guy weren't subtle about it. They would either tell me I was in the wrong bathroom, do a double take upon noticing me or conspiciously study the "female" icon at the entrance of the bathroom... where I could see them. If I wanted to be a nuisance it wouldn't be in the bathroom, especially not when I get a few minutes of warning at best.

I know exactly what you are talking about but I can not explain it.

When I was pretending to be male, nobody really bought the act for very long and most people just assumed I was female.

Long after transition and being perfectly passable, I have been in situations where I was doing something typically male, dressed typically male, and have been gendered female.

I have no idea what it is that goes beyond appearance and against what the observer expects but there is something there.