I had VFS with Dr. Haven exactly 4 weeks ago and unfortunately I have not been able to speak ever since. Since I had a good starting voice that was passable most of the time, I opted to have the endoscopic glottoplasty hoping for just a little nudge in the right direction. Surgery went well. I returned home the next day and followed the strict no speaking rule for an entire week. When I was allowed to test my new voice a little on the 8th day, I couldn't make a sound at all. So I decided to wait another week to try again. No luck after the 2nd week neither. Same thing after the 3rd. I emailed Dr. Haben in a panic and was told that it was normal and that I be patient. It comforted me somewhat in spite of the fact that my friend who had the "Triple" on the same day as I already started talking after the 1st week and she sounded amazing!

Now exactly 4 weeks later today, my voice is still completely shut. I am unable to speak at all. When I try, it sounds exactly like whispering. I have developed such anxiety that I wake up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat and unable to fall back to sleep. You never know how different life is until you've lost your voice. You can't do anything. Your life is on hold. Even as a not particularly social person, I can't imagine how I would go on without my voice.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1sWVxCpfix5

Update: this is Dr. Haben's response to my concerns

I listened to the audio.  You have, besides concern in your voice, the expected SEVERE post op surgical laryngitis that I would expect at four weeks.  If you were local, I would scope and show you.  I rearranged your vocal tract extensively.  Recovery takes 3-6 MONTHS, not 4 weeks, no matter how much we want it to be four weeks ... No matter how much we hope it will be only four weeks ... And no matter how much sleep we lose praying it will be only four weeks.  This is the very reason some people place patients on 6-8 WEEKS of absolute voice rest.  Just to prevent patients from hearing the post op laryngitis and freaking out.  Please be patient.  Short of coming back for a scope, there is nothing else to do.

Regards,

C. Michael Haben, M.D., M.Sc.

Thank you for sharing what you are going through, I can imagine how distressing this can be for you. Keep in mind that everyone heals differently and try to be patient. I hope you get your voice back.

There are times I have thought about forking over the money for this surgery. As the doctor stated your healing can vary. I look forward to seeing more posts and hoping you will be all good voice wise in the near future.

Hi Lunarain, thanks for sharing with us. Don't worry, at 2.5 weeks post op after Yeson I could still barely make a noise due to inflammation of the vocal folds (laryngitis).

Try to keep your head on straight and know that you will get it back!

Oh and I can't believe he did not tell you not to whisper- it is actually really bad for healing vocal chords. Turbulent air over the folds increases dryness, puts undue tension on them, and will likely delay your healing. At least, that is what Dr. Kim at Yeson told me. For me it was absolutely no whispering until 2 months. And even after that, not recommended (for any voice, VFS or not).

Anyway I am sure your voice will turn out. It only takes a little bit of swelling to make a person lose their voice. You are probably just a person who tends to swell more than average- which is fine! Just be easy (no whispering, especially loud whispering) and the edema should clear up. Trust your doctor

Thank you everyone for your kind wishes! I thought it was important for me to share my experience so that if anyone else encounter the same problem in the future, she wouldn't panic like I did. During my research prior to my VFS, not a single person reported her loss of voice after the surgery. So imagine the SHOCK when it happened to me!

@Jenneygirl, it wasn't whispering, it was me trying to talk so that I could send the doc my audio recording. 

Quote from: Lunarain on June 10, 2015, 05:50:41 PM
@Jenneygirl, it wasn't whispering, it was me trying to talk so that I could send the doc my audio recording. 

Aw okay. Well hang in there. If I were you, I would try to not talk at all (in length especially) until your voice starts coming back as Dr. Haben said (6-8 weeks post). I bet you'll start to hear something in a week or two. Basically right now anything you try to do will be equivalent of a whisper, so it's best to just let things settle.

The more swollen a vocal chord is, the more mass it has. Too much mass, and it is unable to vibrate. Swelling is different for everyone, and also depends on the level of change or trauma. Sounds like he changed a lot for you, so it would make sense you have a bit more swelling than average. I know it's hard, but keep your thoughts positive! I'm sure your voice will come back!

Oops, nvm, just saw you have a 94 page thread about Yeson. LOL

I thought I'd give everyone a quick update about my progress. Five weeks post-op and my voice seems to be starting to come back though it's really hard for me to tell. It is happening so slowly that the daily improvement is almost not noticeable. My throat doesn't feel completely shut like it did up until last week and with effort, I can push some air through to make some kind of audible sound. This affords me tremendous relief psychologically. It's a small indication that I have not become completely mute and there's still hope on the horizon!

Please everyone, keep your fingers crossed for me and thank you all for your sisterly support! 

At week 7, my voice's starting to return. With much effort, I can now speak a little  However, I have no control of my voice whatsoever. It comes and goes as it pleases (even mid sentence)! I've never been much a talker but life without voice is impossible. I can't get anything done because I can't make phone calls. I couldn't even say "hi" or "thank you" at the store. Whispering is the only way for me to communicate in public and that's exactly what I did on several occasions where I absolutely had to go out. I pray I haven't damaged my voice because of it. There's my 7 week update:

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0Lz4poknw5Q

Keep being kind to it! As hard as it is not to communicate by voice, I really would recommend against whispering. I'm no doctor, but both of the voice doctors I have seen confirmed that whispering is not good for the vocal chords. It may delay your healing.

Hang in there and be kind to those chords. It sounds like you are already having some good progress The recording sounds female, and the pitch sounds great! Seems like you just have a bit of recovery to go. Lots of water, too!

Thanks for the update!

Quote from: Jennygirl on July 04, 2015, 04:15:14 PM
Keep being kind to it! As hard as it is not to communicate by voice, I really would recommend against whispering. I'm no doctor, but both of the voice doctors I have seen confirmed that whispering is not good for the vocal chords. It may delay your healing.

Hang in there and be kind to those chords. It sounds like you are already having some good progress The recording sounds female, and the pitch sounds great! Seems like you just have a bit of recovery to go. Lots of water, too!

Thanks for the update!

Thank you Jennygirl! You're so very kind! Happy July 4th!

Hi, Luna! I popped over here from my thread. Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm typically quite a seller myself... At least I thought so, until I heard your experience! I'm glad the swelling has gone down enough for you to talk now. Despite the hoarseness, you are sounding great! Better than myself, I think!

Quote from: Cadence Jean on July 04, 2015, 06:22:59 PM
Hi, Luna! I popped over here from my thread. Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm typically quite a seller myself... At least I thought so, until I heard your experience! I'm glad the swelling has gone down enough for you to talk now. Despite the hoarseness, you are sounding great! Better than myself, I think!

It's not easy being a trans-woman. Sharing information is the least I can do to help my sisters out there. Due to the lack of information out there regarding VFS especially here in the States, I did not have a realistic expectation going into it. All those infomercial like videos on Youtube was like "I woke up from my surgery with this magic female voice!"

I'm a stupid girl! LOL...

I leave for Dr Haben in a week and I want to thank you for the warning of what might happen. You have added a bit more fear to the trip because after SRS I couldn't pee for several days because of the swelling but on the other hand, if it happens to me I will understand it and know given time I will recover. Your voice is already sounding good and I suspect it will get even better.

Quote from: Dena on July 05, 2015, 01:29:11 PM
I leave for Dr Haben in a week and I want to thank you for the warning of what might happen. You have added a bit more fear to the trip because after SRS I couldn't pee for several days because of the swelling but on the other hand, if it happens to me I will understand it and know given time I will recover. Your voice is already sounding good and I suspect it will get even better.

Good luck with your surgery Dena!

Due to my severe swelling, my recovery was delayed by about 6 weeks. So I now sound like what I should have been on day 8 without the complications. It's just how my body works and no one is there to blame really. The worst part of it was the psychological trauma I had to endure caused by the extreme anxiety that I might have permanently lost my voice! So whatever happens to you post-op, always remember that someone else had it much worse! 

Quote from: Lunarain on July 05, 2015, 01:47:53 PM
So whatever happens to you post-op, always remember that someone else had it much worse! 

I know this isn't a very nice thought but I hope so. I picked an early surgical date so I would have about 7 weeks of voice recovery time before things get busy at work and I hope that will be enough.

Say hi to Dr. Haben for me, Dena! I'm sure he'll remember me: I was the gal who missed my Pre-op and had to have the consult the morning right before surgery!

Quote from: Cadence Jean on July 05, 2015, 02:09:52 PM
Say hi to Dr. Haben for me, Dena! I'm sure he'll remember me: I was the gal who missed my Pre-op and had to have the consult the morning right before surgery!

I saw your post about that, I am flying South West and going it's not to bad. Returning I fly to Orlando, have a 4 hour layover and then back to Phoenix. That amounts to about 11 hours from first takeoff to final landing. That is going to be one long day.

Here's the 3-month post-op "Rainbow Passage" I sent to Dr. Haben for analysis. Keep in mind that my healing process was delayed for at least 2 months due to severe surgical laryngitis. I do not have full command of my voice at this point and I feel as if I'm learning to speak all over again with someone else's voice-box. I'm also unable to objectively judge the quality of my own voice.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0fEPmkVWwDP

Here's Dr. Haben's response:

Greetings!  The pitch on the recording is perfect!  246 hz, B3 on the piano, dead-centered in the female range.  You are still quite breathy.  This will resolve.  Remember, 3-6 months in some cases.  The voice will also continue to become easier to use as your body habituates to the "new instrument" and the swelling resolves.  Can you send another recording at 6 months and I will do a formal voice analysis on the computer and send it back to you.

Cheers!


C. Michael Haben, M.D., M.Sc.
Center for the Care of the Professional Voice
Haben Practice for Voice & Laryngeal Laser Surgery, PLLC
980 Westfall road, building 100, suite 127
Rochester, NY  14618
tel: (585) 442-1110
fax: (585) 730-8151
www.professionalvoice.org

Luna, you sound incredible!!