You should't be depressed because she will be back. You just did something really big and really scary and the other girl will need a little time to get over it. I am sure she will be back if you give her a little time.

What did i do thats big and scary? i forget
Are you sure i just don't wanna be a girl and am just getting these confused because i wan't to be a cute girl.

You marked the box that said you were female and then you really understood you are transexual and that you are a girl inside. You admitted to the fact these feelings are real. That is something very important and we have people who are 50 or 60 years old coming to this web site because they did it for the first time. You did it at age 14. That was very hard but very good.

Would a guy mark the box for female ever?
and with that 1 girl gone i feel like i have lost a part of me for a while and there is a hole in me that only that special girl can fit into thats how i feel

That girl is hiding for a bit. I don't have that girl all the time either but she still visits me at special times and makes them all the more special. She will come back sometimes when you think about her or when you are getting dressed up or maybe even if you find someone to fall in love with one day. She may even come back tonight for a visit.

I get the cutest image when i saw your post of she is hiding i see a little girl behind a couch hiding. its adorable.

She is still with you and may come out sooner than you think. Take some time to think about things and let us know if you want our help.

Accept your inner female

I recently attempted to purge my trans but now I feel like I can't accept it again and is it normal that I'm not so focused on the genitals as much as the feelings

Quote from: BBGurl24 on July 06, 2015, 04:42:54 PM
I recently attempted to purge my trans but now I feel like I can't accept it again and is it normal that I'm not so focused on the genitals as much as the feelings

The only issue I have with my genitals is the fact that they produce the wrong hormones. Its the rest of my body that needed to change. Nothing else needed to change.

It's hard to accept yourself so just hang in there it really will get easier :-)

Quote from: amber roskamp on July 06, 2015, 04:52:00 PM
The only issue I have with my genitals is the fact that they produce the wrong hormones. Its the rest of my body that needed to change. Nothing else needed to change.

It's hard to accept yourself so just hang in there it really will get easier :-)

Yes I agree

You shouldn't try to purge your trans because all you do is delay dealing with it. You are very young and dealing with it is much better when you are young. I was twice your age before I could find the medical help I needed and that made the process much more costly, painful and the results weren't as good as they could have been.
The truth is to do what I did was hard work and if you didn't have some fear about it, it wouldn't be normal. You have lived almost all you life without these feeling and for the last three months you have felt them. They are so new that you are having a hard time accepting that they are real. You have to take my word, the word of a total stranger who you didn't know until a few weeks ago that this is real and it isn't going away. I can understand that you don't trust me or the feeling you have because of this. The fact that you are still talking with me is a good thing because I do know what is happening and I also wish you didn't have to go through it. I felt the same pain many years ago and I know what you feel is real and you can't get rid of it no matter how hard you try. You can keep putting it off till tomorrow but it isn't going to get any better or you can deal with it. I can offer you the two options but this is a case where you will have to be very adult and make up your mind what you want to do. I know the best path will be working with your parents and getting you medical help but I can't force you to do anything. For the most part, this board will never try to find out who you are or who your parents are so the decision can only be made by you.

I still have memories of when I was your age. It hurts me inside when I work with one of you because it triggers those memories but I do this because I don't want you to have the pain that I had. I am willing to suffer the same pain to keep the pain from you. I know the doctors can make the pain go away and will leave the girl behind.

I just saw something that sparked my jealousy for being a girl. And btw i am a timid little thing.

What is it? You do understand that you could become one.

I feel like my trans is fading I'm scared I feel just kinda weird and I am afraid that the girls in me are leaving

Well... relax... calm down... and you will feel them

The girls are not leaving you. The first girl comes and goes when she wants. The second girl is you and always will be with you. You couldn't see the second girl because the first girl was drawing all your attention from the second girl. You will find the second girl is just as important to you as the first but she is much more quite. Just take some time and get to know the second girl and I think you will like her but for different reasons.

Okay question one out of two why does the thought of telling someone I'm not a girl or the thought of I'm not a girl come into my mind it brings distress and question number two why do I feel like I would cut my hair off when I grow it out I'm growing it out to the top of my bottom btw and that also brings me distress because I love my hair

Girl number 2 is the real you. You don't have a boy on the inside, only on the outside. You have been told for many years that you are a boy on the inside and outside but people couldn't see that you are girl on the inside.
Now when you try to tell someone that you are a boy, girl number two disagrees with that and it makes you unhappy. You are an honest person and it feels like you are lying because you feel the girl on the inside.
As for cutting your hair off, I suspect both girl number 1 and number 2 like long hair. The problem is you also feel from your parent, friends and others who see the boy on the outside that your hair should be short. You want to make others happy but you also want to make the girls inside happy as well. Because both want different things, you can't make everybody happy so you are unhappy.

Is it possible that since ive never had a girlfriend i want to be a girl. And btw the triggers suck i just keep watching vids that trigger it and i get extremely jealous.