There's something I've been hearing a lot recently, and it's been putting me on edge. Thanks to the gay marriage decision, a lot of very angry religious people have been going to war with a lot of very angry LGBTQIA people about anything: transgender people, gay people, etc. The argument is that each person, gay, straight, trans, or otherwise, is 'born that way'. I don't... really know what to think about that. When I was a little girl, I loved the quintessential 'girly' parts of my life. I played with dolls, I wore skirts and stockings, I absolutely loved My Little Pony and pink and glitter and dress-up. I couldn't have been more of my mother's perfect daughter. Unlike a lot of my peers, I wasn't already feeling that gender ache that I feel now. I never longed to be a man, I was still in that stage where 'boys were icky' and I couldn't talk to them without feeling grossed out.

That didn't change either. In 5th grade, a friend and I used to chase around this one boy in our class named Logan, and we considered ourselves deep enemies. I wasn't born thinking that I wanted to be a man. I didn't want that, not back then. So, when people say that, it makes me really, really nervous. If I say something, does that not make me a 'real' transman anymore? I feel what I am with all my heart, and I devote a lot of time to helping people with similar issues out. I didn't have gender dysphoria at a young age, and I barely have it now, though it does happen occasionally. I don't know if I'm even taking the saying right, because I've been too shy to ask people in case that they treated me like a lesser person for not being like them.

It still happens, and I don't know what to do about it. Maybe I'm just overreacting. Sorry about that...

My personal take: Whether I'm trans because of nature, nurture, or both, it makes no real difference to me. Sure, it'd be interesting if I underwent some kind of testing that determined it was rooted in genetic or biological factors, but at the end of the day, the reason I am trans ultimately matters little. It is what it is; I am what I am. I know my reality, I know that means I'm trans, and I know I'm doing what I need to in order to survive and thrive. Anything else is just secondary to that point.

We are born this way. I suppose one could choose to become transexual for whatever reason, in other words transition or live as a different gender from what they were assigned at birth. But doing so would be more of a lifestyle choice, embracing the LGBT community and culture then deciding to become a part of it. Transgender people don't choose to be transgender, they are born with the gender of their brain not matching the gender of their body and there has been increasingly more scientific research to prove that.

That being said, gender dysphoria is different for different people. The only common factor is that if you're transgender you've felt gender related dysphoria in some form before. A lot of people will say they're transgender and have never experienced gender dysphoria but that's because dysphoria can range from simply knowing that your physical or socially perceived gender doesn't match your mind and otherwise having no discomfort about that to major discomfort. It also affects people at different stages in life and can come and go. The term "dysphoria" basically means discomfort so people think that to be considered transgender you have to be uncomfortable with your gender but that's not always the case. It's possible to be comfortable with your body and/or social roles and still have the niggling little thought of "hey, something's not right here, I'm a man (or woman)." That's still dysphoria.

I also believe that cis people can experience moments of gender dysphoria but for them it's not persistent like it is for transgender people. For example, a woman may experience some gender dysphoria if she's being discriminated against because of her gender but it doesn't invade her psyche or cause her to question her gender and sense of self for a long period if time like it does for people who are transgender. It's sort of like the geometry rule that "a square is a rectangle but a rectangle isn't always a square."

Only you can tell if you're transgender or simply deciding to embrace a certain lifestyle and the community. If you have a therapist these would be great topics to bring up with them.

I find this all very interesting, especially your story, considering that it is so different from the 'normal' ones we typically hear.

I believe that we are born this way, it's woven into brains, and I think has a lot to do with science. Even if it takes a while for it to take form to come to the realization of being trans, I think it's always there. Contravene is right with the gender dysphoria. I like his take on the question.

Depending on the person, it can take decades for them to realize that they are trans, or maybe just several months, or they've always known. I think it just depends on each person, and how their brains are wired and function. Also, the way  the person was raised can have something to do with it, if they were taught that LGBT+ people are bad, then they will probably push the thought of being trans to the back of their mind.

In conclusion, I do believe that people are born this way, but for some it may take a while for it to be realized, it's there, just waiting to be discovered. 

Let me tell you one thing. I was rised in a very spiritual family and i believed that gender dysphoria is related to psychological death and guilt. It took me years to overcome death and be reborn and even though I'm fully alive i am still transgender. I'm a theological evidence that the gender identity has nothing to do with social factors but with the brain development. Just take a look at so many lgbt people out there who have built empires. Do you think that those empires are results of madness or a result of complete sanity and leading a constructive life. It's all about accepting yourself for who you are and get rid of the guilt.

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SpaceMutie, you're definitely not the only one with doubts on this subject. There are plenty of other trans people who showed little or no 'signs' as a child (myself included—I started a thread of my worries about not being legitimately trans here https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,183929.msg1633655.html#msg1633655 )  Many trans people only realise their true identity when they are middle-aged or older. So I would strongly advise you not to worry about it, and just think about what youngbuck said

Quote from: youngbuck on July 07, 2015, 11:24:49 PM
It is what it is; I am what I am. I know my reality, I know that means I'm trans, and I know I'm doing what I need to in order to survive and thrive. Anything else is just secondary to that point.

I read your post last night and I've been thinking about it.  The "born this way" narrative certainly has been pushed by the LGBT community as a means of acceptance.  Just as straight & cisgender people didn't decide that, neither did we. 

But what about people, like yourself, who don't fit the "I knew when I was a kid" narrative?  Does that mean you're NOT born that way?   No.  I still think it's something inate within us that tells us this.  Just not everyone feels it early on.  You're just as valid a trans man, and a man, as anyone else.  For you the feelings and recognition came later. 

So you may not fit the standard narrative, but that certainly doesn't mean this wasn't innately within you all along. 

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I only put all the pieces together when I was 36 or 37, so don't worry friend. You're just as valid as the next trans dude.

There are differences in brains of men and women.
It was found in autopsies that brains of transgender people have the structures of the gender they identify with regardless if they had hrt.
The body and the brain develop at different times, so a mismatch for example by certain trigger substance levels is possible.
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,186458.msg1664590.html#msg1664590

Well some people knew from early on but thats not every person.

And some people even overdo gender roles until they find out its not who they are.

This all is a spectrum, experienced by individual people.

And many tg people are sensitive. Its possible in young age they felt it would be better to be quiet but find out later who they feel they are.


hugs

Yes, we are born this way. 



Whilst I am all for exploring yourself and questioning whether we have basis in biology, psychology, endocrinology or even intelligence.
I found this an inspiritational piece that solved much for my own pattern of thought(n˘v˘•)¬

When you go in with an open mind, an open heart, don't ever feel bad about yourself or your quest for truth/self-acceptance.

I really don't think it matters. Why do we need to be born a certain way in order to be respected?

We ask the questions now so that the future has the answers 

It doesn't.

Yes, I'd say we're born this way. Only the individual knows if it's their choice to be trans* or even they were just born into that society of LGBT.

Of course we are born this way.   If our gender identities are chosen, then who in the world would ever want to choose being transgender?   

Yes, sign me up for ridicule, rejection, unemployment, having to constantly watch my back, not to mention medical bills, electrolysis, therapy, surgeries, legal bills and endless name change hassles.

If one can be "made" to be transgender, then why is it that conversion therapy doesn't ever work?  You'd think that if you could flip the switch once, you should be able to flip it back. 

News flash- there is no switch!

Lady Gaga says we are so it must be true 

I'm of the opinion that it doesn't really matter, whether we were born like this or through environmental/ social factors. My parents had a rough divorce when I was a kid and who knows maybe some of that influenced my gender identity. Although I'm one of those people who knew from as early as I can remember that something was "wrong" that I was "supposed to be a boy". But there's lots of folks who don't realize it till later and that's just fine.

My brother likes to joke that there's somethin funny in the water... I'm ftm, my brother is gay, and our neighbors in the house we grew up in had a daughter who is a lesbian and her father came out as MTF... Lol what are the odds

Quote from: AeroZeppelin92 on July 09, 2015, 01:18:48 AM
Lady Gaga says we are so it must be true 

I'm of the opinion that it doesn't really matter, whether we were born like this or through environmental/ social factors. My parents had a rough divorce when I was a kid and who knows maybe some of that influenced my gender identity. Although I'm one of those people who knew from as early as I can remember that something was "wrong" that I was "supposed to be a boy". But there's lots of folks who don't realize it till later and that's just fine.

My brother likes to joke that there's somethin funny in the water... I'm ftm, my brother is gay, and our neighbors in the house we grew up in had a daughter who is a lesbian and her father came out as MTF... Lol what are the odds

I think your local government must really be pushing the gay agenda.... Damn liberal's with their social experiments 

We may not have been born transgender, but we were born with the capacity to become transgender.

Perhaps this is true of everyone.

Just like other forms of genetic expression, ->-bleeped-<- may appear to a lesser or greater degree in different people at different times, expressed due to a variety of pressures.

I'm MtF and my only sibling is FtM. If that's not proof that it's genetic, IDK what is.

SpaceMutie,

Questioning is good. Being unsure and curious are the only things that are normal to humans. Without putting questions into action there is no science. Without out it, there is no choice of religion. Questioning makes our beliefs and proofs more solid. It is not easy and sometimes uncomfortable. It is those who have all the answers with no questions that should be scrutinized as unnatural.

I did not know as a child. I did not put it together till much later. That does not make me any more or less authentic. It was only through nearly mentally crashing, that led me to therapy. Even going there, I had a different thought in mind. However, going back in memory and many things in my life that always struck me as a little odd, I came to the conclusion. I would suggest that while I was not the model, normal child, I followed the path others expected and did okay.

Realization and starting to follow my "true path" has not made my life sunshine and roses. I do still hit "the wall". I have some dark moments of questioning myself, wondering if I over think it too. However, I can now be happy even if I am having a moment that sucks. I proceed in a happier, more content way(happiness not being a destination, but how you travel). At first, when exploring, I was trying to find where I fit in. Not truly cis, not really a cross dresser, not gay... I saw what was the typical narrative of transgender and dysphoria and was upset because I did not fit there either. I read an article on line called, "That was dysphoria?" I suddenly realized that dysphoria comes in many descriptions(probably as many as there are people with it). That led me to go back and find all the memories, physical examples, and feelings as well as the depression symptoms.

Sorry for the brief biography. I am just saying that while I did not always recognize it, it was always there. I cannot speak for you or anyone else. That is why I use my own experience for examples.

Don't know if that helps or is too long.

With warm thoughts,

Joanna

I personally wasn't born transgender.  My condition mainly had to do with living (incorrect) puberty because that was the thing that I NEVER wanted as long as I can remember myself. Basically I wanted to be like how Andy Milonakis is. 

While it's true I never identified as female, I didn't care for gender differences if my body wasn't physically affected.  So, I would instead be considered genderless instead of trans.