I have a long history with trans issues, but most relevant to my inquiry here is that 6-7 years ago I self-medicated and took both estrogen and an antiandrogen. I took them during a time in my life when a lot of things happened, and so I originally thought that it was the HRT that made me both more anxious and then also very tired/burnt out, which is why I stopped self-medicating. A couple of years after that (being burnt out and unable to function very well) I drew the conclusion that the timing was probably just unfortunate and my being burnt out just coincided with my undergoing HRT. Anyway, now I'm here again, basically taking estrogen in pill form.  was fine for two weeks, but then I took  and suddenly I've become quite anxious for a couple of days now, so I lowered the dosage to .

Now, I am far from anxious-free even when not on HRT, but still I wonder if other people have gotten a similar effect from HRT. Mostly people just seem to get calmer, more at peace, but that just didn't happen for me the last time I was on a regimen for a couple of months. And yes, there might be other explanations for my anxiety right now (and back then), one of them being that basically it might be self-sustaining, ie I really want to undergo HRT and thus at the first sign of anxiety I attribute it to being the HRT and thus get anxious. But still.

Has HRT induced anxiety in transgender folk? Or for that matter in non-trans folk?

PS: Getting HRT prescribed is not an option seeing how I've tried the official channels twice already, once 7 years ago and once 5 years ago and failed the critera both times. As to whether I'm really transexual or not might be an interesting question but not really pertinent to my inquiry seeing how there really is no sure-fire way of knowing such a thing and even if I'm not (as the system would claim) my desires are nonetheless to undergo HRT.

Mod Edit- No doses please. TOS 8

Hi!

Welcome to Susan's    Great to have you here - looking forward to seeing you around the forum.

I'm sorry to hear that you have been unable to satisfy your medical organisations that you satisfy their criteria for HRT. That said, self-medication of hormones and anti-androgens is extremely dangerous and needs to be properly monitored - you are at risk of liver damage, blood clots, blood pressure problems and more. As you've experienced, HRT can also effect mood, sometimes quite profoundly and can result in depression, swinging moods, crying etc? Are there any other possible avenues for treatment in your country?

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Grace

Welcome to Susan's A7A

Sorry to hear of your problems....

HRT can really screw with you, certainly not something to mess around with.
For safety they need to be administered and monitored closely, and, its not uncommon for the regime to be altered many times over the first few years. Because they interact directly with your endocrine systems they can effect many areas of your health.

Just a thought, are you seeing a gender therapist? they can really help you.

Anyway welcome to Susan's and I look forward to seeing you about the forum's..

L Katy 

Hey there, thanks for the welcoe. Gender therapists in Sweden are only available through gender clinics and those bridges are burned long ago. Maybe there could be the possibility of going to the northern part of the country and try there, but that would mean that they would have to be willing to go against the testimonies of two gender clinics that already tried me, and also I would have to get rich really quick in order to be able to afford all the train tickets necessary for that kind of endevour.

I keep hearing that things can go wrong with hormones, yet I'm not sure what exactly. It's not like the gender clinics do much more than measure testo and estro and progesteron anyway for their clients, and certainly with my low dosages I'm not at a danger of getting too low of anything. "Monitoring closely" is not something gender clinics do with their client's HRT in my country. You barely meet them anyway. I've heard of people that barely have any measurable testosterone in their body, much less than ciswomen, and doctors let them continue on their hormone regimen, so I'm really skeptical as to what exactly gender clinics might help me with (except financially). What do you think they would be able to help me with?

They also take things like blood counts, and check on your metabolic and function numbers to make sure your kidney's, liver and other organs are working okay. Sorry to hear they rejected you twice already. Welcome to Susan's. I agree maybe seeing a therapist will help and that can allow you to prove to them that you are what you say you are and that you need certain treatments for it. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah

I will find out what exactly they check for, but from what I've heard, it's done less often than doctors who prescribe antidepressants do follow-ups...

HRT made me more anxious because it sent me into sort of an inbetween gender realm a bit where I had obvious breasts and my face looked to young for my age, but still male and frankly it was uncomfortable and I always worried I looked weird to people whereas before hrt obviously I was just another dude looking guy so I didn't worry about my appearance in a casual sense like that.  But I'd say transitioning brought less anxiety, but more depression cause you have to stop dreaming at some point and look at the cards you were dealt.  Not to say I'm depressed all the time but I was definitely less depressed and more anxious before taking hrt, now its the opposite.

There might be a way to contact cooperative gender therapists in your country.
You might contact transgender groups or boards from your country. Maybe they can come up with the adress/phone number of some understanding and helpful therapists.

When estro is administered orally/sublingually (sublingual has the advantage of more direct delivery into the blood stream and thus is supposed to be causing less clotting factors) there might be a kind of spike and a low a few hours later. So spreading a dose throughout the day, for example four smaller doses instead of one or two big ones might keep levels more steady and help with mood.

Alternative forms are injections, implants and patches. With injections, weekly are also more stable, with biweekly there might be a low phase at the last few days.

Bioidentical progesterone might also help with mood and counter some side effects of estro and help with breast development.
This is only for bioidentical progesterone.

Well there are no guarantees concerning mood. Thats why a doctor and therapist are helpful.

Don't do this alone. Look for a GP and tell them, so they can supervise mood and blood levels.


According to the news from your country and others, there might have been some change the last years, concerning sentiment...
you might really ask around for an understanding therapist, and try there again.


hugs

Welcome to the forums, it has been like years since I posted here.  Have you tried a online therapist like Dr. Graham Pevler?  That might be a way for you to get the papers you need so your doctor will give you the HRT.  Just a thought.
I hope it all works out for you, aloha from Hawaii.

Jennie

Thanks for the concern everyone. I didn't realize writing about dosages was verboten on the forums, sorry. Anyway. Yeah maybe maybe I could go at it a third time, but honestly at this point I just get tired from thinking of it. I really don't have a lot of money and considering my general lack of energy and general surplus of anxiety, I don't think I will be seeing much money for the next couple of years to speak of. And you know traveling to faraway places for meetings time and time again, it takes its toll - and not only financially speaking. I have enough as it is with case workers at social services and the likes steering me in directions I do not wish to go. Even people that mean well just don't agree with my assessment of my capacities and claim that there's no danger inherent in getting tired and slogging/working through tiredness. Well my experience from the last couple of years tells me otherwise! So yeah I'm basically just up to my neck and sick and tired of authorities and government organisations. I don't feel I can handle any more right now. Last time I self-medicated the gender clinic felt that my getting more anxiety on HRT was a contra-indication of transexualism. I feel I should just go at this alone right now and see what happens. Like honestly what would the endocrinologist do differently than just trial-and-error? I mean that's what the psychiatrists have been doing for all these years now, and I've been basically through all the antidepressants by now! Sure maybe they knew what they were doing, but they sure as ->-bleeped-<- didn't convince me of that. To me it felt like they were shooting in the dark, and now I feel I'm better off without, even though some still want me on them.

Well the difference the third time could be getting really informed... asking around in trans groups, gathering information and getting numbers of therapists that are helpful... most of this might be done via the internet...

tiredness could be a sign for things that are not really in alignment with interests...
you might try a few things you like... maybe even volunteer work... if things are in alignment with what is felt positive it might energize...


hugs