I know I don't post much here very often. The further along I get in transition, the further I seem to drift away from the trans scene. I think I subconsciously can't wait to put trans behind me and live my life as male, forget the gender I was physically born with... If that's even remotely possible.

Anywho. Here I am, wanted to update you guys on the fact I'm sat here in bed, at home after stage 2 phalloplasty surgery! I had it done on Saturday (4th July) been home since yesterday. I've had hysterectomy (don't know full name of exact procedure but they went in through bellybutton to unhook everything and took it out through the vagina.) I had vaginectomy. From what I'm aware of they've took everything apart from the vaginal flooring as surgeon said it's too risky to remove as I still need support in that area so it doesn't all collapse in on itself. And they also did my glans sculpting and urethral hook up! I was meant to get a testicle, but Mr Christopher said there were too many incisions done and said it would have been too sore to put it in at that point.

I have to say, I'm impressed by the whole lack of pain thing. Of course there is some, but it's very subtle. I'm more uncomfortable more than anything. The pad I have in my pants just keeps bunching up and that just isn't comfy at all! The drain isn't my friend, but less of a hindrance than I imagined. And the catheter is even less my friend. 3 weeks with that beauty, can't wait to ditch that! I had an 'accident' last night where the tube unhooked and I ended up pissing on myself at 2am -_- not fun at all!!!

Oh and I opted to have my clit buried of course everyone's experience in sensation is very different,  but I just have to applaud Mr Christopher for his amazing skills! He's extended the clitoris as far up my neophallus as possible and the amount of sensation I already have in the tip of my penis is awesome!!  However,  at this stage, while it needs to be held upright, it makes me whince a little bit if I accidentally brush it against anything >_<

I am more mobile than I thought I would be, I can move around with ease. Getting in and out of bed is the only issue as the amount of abdominal muscles needed for that is quite surprising! Farts. Gas. Oh dear lord! Lol that us just not comfortable at all! Had a few laxatives past few days and no movement yet. I'm dreading that first passing :S I've tried to sit and nothing yet. But when I do, it feels like I want to pee through the old hole instead which makes me nervous!!

Sorry for the long post!  Would love to hear other people's experiences and if anyone has any questions I'd be happy to answer best I can

jonjon, thanks for the update, sounds like you are doing great.  So good to hear that you are having such good sensation at this early.  Are you planning on getting an erection device with you next procedure?

Hey man good for you! Glad to hear you're recovering well and already feel sensation. May I ask who your surgeon was?

Quote from: mm on July 07, 2015, 11:30:35 AM
Are you planning on getting an erection device with you next procedure?

Yes I will be! I feel slightly unlucky in that they haven't had chance to place any testicles yet! So I can only presume the next op will be both at once? I still need the reservoir in!

Quote from: AGhostInMyArms on July 07, 2015, 03:57:54 PM
May I ask who your surgeon was?

Hi, I'm being cared for with the London team and it's Mr Christopher who has done first two stages so far with Mr Watson who performed the hysterectomy. So far, Mr Christopher has been outstanding! I can't fault the work he's done so far!

There's not much to update in regards healing, though I would like to say that everything 'appears' to be healing well! I'm on day 8 today and have read a few other peoples experience is that sometimes a little bleeding can happen between days 5 and 12... which i am prepared for but really hoping not! But so far the incision down below looks very clean (no oozing at all) and seems to be healing very nicely! Pain is very minimal, the only pain i do have is the occassional gut ache when i get wind and it pushes against my bladder and that 'see you next tuesday punted' feeling lol which is like a dull ache... I suppose in nicer terms you could relate it to having ridden a bicycle for 12hrs straight! ooch >_< But it's nothing a few painkillers and a bit of ibuprofen doesnt keep at bay. There's a lot of nasty smelling gunk oozing from my penis :/ I get the stent from that out tomorrow (although my dr's/practice nurse have already displayed some unstubtle insecurities about how they do that, seems they're not trained for that so thats going to be fun - not.) but hopefully they'll be able to advise on how that will heal. Either that or i'll just have to contact Sara at Harley Street and see what she says. It's proper nasty smelling though!

But what i mainly wanted to say in my update is the level of confidence I am already feeling from this op. My vagina is gone!!! Oh dear lord that freak is GONE!!!! I will admit, i had doubts. Since i started T my libido shot through the roof and i began to enjoy penetrative masturbation because it felt good to get off that way,it was all i had so i worked with it. Now i'm on the other side and i know i'm still healing and it's really early and all, but i dont think i'm going to have a problem. I have the right equipment now (almost when i get testicles i will!) but i'm really looking forward to life with my willy. The feeling of completeness i'm speeding towards... there's no words to describe this level of amazing! I feel RIGHT!!!

It's not a conventional thing to do... or i dont know, maybe it is lol, but today when i washed myself down with wipes and checked aqll bandages and stuff, I took some (rather awkward) photo's of 'down there'. Even though they've not inserted testicles yet, i can see they've 'reserved' that area perfectly and it just looks like they've not dropped yet  I just cant get over how natural it looks already!! I wish i could show you guys pictures. I cant wait to be fully healed and feel confident naked in front of my bf. He's been so great looking after me and helping me and he has seen glimpses of my dick, however since he's such a modest boy I'm not sure exactly how much he's properly seen. I've been so embarrased about having any sexual activity with him previously because when i got aroused it'd get all 'damp' down there and it was uncomfortable and just plain disgusting. So i avoided getting too into things with him but now i feel i can go nuts once i'm healed!

I have rambled far too much! And i sincerely applaud anyone who's read this whole post - Congrats!! lol I'm just excited by everything and honestly cant thank the London team enough for the amazingness they've helped bring into my life!

So happy for you man 

Thanks for being so honest and candid with your experience JonJon. As someone who is considering phalloplasty, these shared experiences are very helpful. Thank you

Quote from: Elvis the Pelvis on July 13, 2015, 05:02:43 PM
Thanks for being so honest and candid with your experience JonJon. As someone who is considering phalloplasty, these shared experiences are very helpful. Thank you

You are most welcome!  Not enough people share the really personal part to this kind of surgery which I think can make us feel very alone when we encounter such feelings and experiences.

I have one very important tip for anyone having their surgery done through the London team (no matter what type of surgery that is) if you are ever sent home with a redivac drain, please ensure you must book it's removal at either Harley Street, or ensure you can get with someone who has experience in removing this type of drain! I had yesterday the worst day of my life!! When I booked with my local GP for drain removal, I didn't specify what type of drain it was. When I got there, the nurse was very unsure as she's never removed this type of drain before. She contacted Spire Thames Valley hospital where I had the op and even though they talked her through it over the phone, she could still not remove the drain. She tugged, but by christ it hurt! Like excruciatingly!!!  No one at my Gp's had experience with this so she directed me to A and E. What a horrible experience. 2 hours before a gynaecologist attempted to remove the drain, assisted with morphine and laughing gas and it was still extremely painful! So then I had to wait for a urologist to take care of it - at this point under the assumption I would have to go into theatre under anaesthetic to have it removed. 3 hours I waited in thus ->-bleeped-<-ty little room packed with people waiting for a spare bed and this crazy guy who became even crazier with impatience and started talking to himself... And then eventually a urologist who surprisingly knows Mr Christopher came, gave it a wiggle and a slight pull and the drain was out!! I could have kissed him!!

So what turned a 30 minute GP appointment into a 7 and a half hour A and E adventure could have easily been avoided by making sure I was booked in with someone experience to begin with. I could have even spent a more comfortable trip to London and back in that time! I am so sore today that I daren't even move!  Lol

Geez, jonjon, what an experience!  It sounds horrid.

I'd like to echo the others in saying thanks for posting.

Can we get an updated picture of your forearm?

Quote from: Bimmer Guy on July 14, 2015, 06:26:05 AM
Geez, jonjon, what an experience!  It sounds horrid.

I'd like to echo the others in saying thanks for posting.

Can we get an updated picture of your forearm?

Certainly! I'm really pleased with the arm. I really don't mind the scar. I'm still covering it up when I go out. Sara said I have to do this for a year so come August I shouldn't need to. I might anyways though until winter, just because summer has strong UV rays from the sun and it can't hurt to be careful





Update on my stage 2, it appears I've contracted an infection or two :/ I called the hospital yesterday with concerns about that smelly discharge from my penis, they said it's not right and to see my GP about it as it sounds like an infection. So my GP, not really knowing anything about this op has put me on antibiotics for it and in his own words 'hope for the best' lol oh dear god I hope he's right!! Also since I had the stent removed I keep getting this horrible urge to pee where my old urethral opening was. That just seems to get worse. My catheter is draining normally without any issues and it feels a lot like a water infection I seem to be prone to getting anyways, except a whole load worse since I have a catheter in and can't relieve myself naturally. So the doc hopes the antibiotics will help with that too. Although in his unsurety he has sent me away with a DIY swab kit and urine pot to hand back in later so they can see if antibiotics is the right choice.

It's no wonder bacteria's are gaining resistance to antibiotics when the docs hand them out like sweets!!  but in a way I am glad as I'll take anything right now if helps alleviate that desperate need to pee feeling when you're denied of going!!

Luckily I'm sat in bed right now and I'm comfy and not in any pain or anything at moment if I could just stay like this and not have to move for the rest of my recovery, that would be awesome lol

jonjon,

Your arm looks fantastic.  I don't think I have ever seen an arm donor site look as good as that one (healing/scar).  What was the date of the phallo again?

On the whole, from what I see and hear, Mr. Christopher really is one of the top docs internationally with phallo.

I'm sorry to hear about the infection.  I hope the antibiotics work.  You do seem quite patient with healing and seem to be able to look on the bright side of things.  Take care of you and hang in there. 

thks for the update.  Your arm sure does look great and it can only look better with time.  I can see how easy it would be to get an inflection with a catheter in and the inflection maybe near your old urethra opening so the feeling there.  I hope it clears up with the first treatment.

The antibiotics seem to have cleared everything up wonderfully! 

I just wanted to use this thread as a bit of a diary for the rest of this week as I've been in contact with Sara and she has given me the go ahead to spigot my catheter before I see Fiona in London this Friday. It seems the preference is that I am peeing freely at least 24hrs before catheter removal!

So... Here goes! Let's see what happens!

*excited but bricking it at same time*

Hehehehehe phew!

That first leg is over! I pee'd through my penis!!! Ha!

Quite a challenge since I've never really pee'd standing up before. I had to squat on the toilet to get it to do its thing! Combined with my muscles not being trained right yet, the fear of pee bursting out of every hole imaginable and being extremely desperate to go... It felt like the safest option.

Contrary to popular belief, I did not squirt pee out of every hole. I am so relieved that it looks like there are no fistulas! I had pads and everything at the ready just in case! And sadly yes, the rumours are true, it burns so bad!! But I was able to withstand it enough to shout 'where the hell do you think you're p*ssing!?' at my boy... It's a good job I did squat! If I hadn't, I'd be peeing on the bathroom floor 2 meters off to the side! O_O pretty much a 90 degree angle!

Great to hear of your success, jonjon.  I can expect it was strange standing up and not knowing how everything works and what was going to happen.  I have read that it takes some learning and practice to pee standing after phalloplasty.  The burning hopefully will decrease and go away in a few days/weeks.  Great to hear you had no fistulas or other problems and you will train your muscles and learn how to aim and be peeing like any other guy soon I hope.

Thanks!

The retraining will be fun lol it feels so weird at first! It felt like it was going to come out where the old hole was but then it just seemed to redirect and that was the part that burns! I was dabbing myself between my legs with toilet paper looking for any leakage, but there wasn't any!

I've heard drinking plenty of water helps with the burning

I never been so excited about a wee before :/

I hope you have fun learn how. Remember guys don't need toilet paper after they wee, there is none next to the urinals.  Wish I was as fast a long as you are and having such good success.

I am considering myself extremely lucky in terms of uneventful recovery so far!

I'm sure your turn will come soon enough! How far away are you?  Do you plan to go for lower surgery? If so are you going for phallo or meta? It's took me about 7-8 years since that first step of telling my GP I was trans and changing my name to get here. And in all honesty, I would not have wanted it any faster. The time it's took between then and now has been just right, it's given me enough time to come to terms with certain things, to be allow me to explore myself on a whole new level, to help deal with family. In the moment the wait is tough, and at times I had sometimes wish things would speed up. But it's so easy to forget about yourself and what's happening around you when you get so focused on your end goal. I think what you have to remember is that, as long as you have made your decision about what you wish your end result to be, then you will achieve it. But take your time getting there and the end result will be so much more.

Good advice JonJon. I am really trying my best to be present. We can probably all relate to wishing for time to fly so that we can reach our goal.

Thank you again for sharing your journey with us all. Having your journal available for us is so helpful, especially how hard it is to find information on real life experience with Phalloplasty.
I feel so much excitement for the future reading your story phalloplasty will likely be a few years down the road for me personally.

Sending you healthy thoughts,

LJ

Congrats on peeing Jonjon!  Now drink lots and lots of water to get rid of that burning (and to help you practice)!