Alright it is done. I talked with a shift manager and she is completely fine with it and is going to call corporate HR to figure out the next steps. She's also going to talk to all the guys that they must respect me and not say anything or risk getting fired.  And the guy that outed me is going to get fired. I'll say more later but I'm going home now and need rest I'm just drained right now.

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Sounds like your shift manager is doing a good job of handling it now. I hope all goes well from this point on as they figure out the rest of the game plan. Hugs
Mariah

My coming out (I like to call it my "breaking bad") at work was a major milestone in my transition.
Although I managed to have it happen at the time of my choosing, it has not been completely on my terms, either.
Use the occasion to turn things to your advantage, act as if you had chosen this time for it to happen.
Shine, Raven, be proud, be beautiful, be frightened but bold, vulnerable but free, changing but finally yourself, awesome and real.
Your friends love you, and you will find them all around you.

Jeez why do ppl have to be so nosy!!  However im glad the guy got his just desserts.

I am so happy for you Raven. You were so strong and brave. Your soul is as beautiful as you are.

Wow, that was fast.  Go HR!  Hope that guy will think twice before making his next workplace a toxic environment... and it sounds like your other co-workers will be very familiar with the consequences of that kinda crap.

While I'm happy for your new work situation, it sounds like you still need a lot of care and sympathy.  I'm glad that you're spending the evening with a friend.  Even if everything is miraculously good at work, you dealt with a lot of trauma in the last 24 hours.  Big hugs.

Everyone thank you so much for the help! Along with my friends you helped me weather this day out. Otherwise I would have stayed him turning into a puddle of tears. Now that I've gotten some rest and though it over I'm just going to write some stuff out. If I repeat something I've already said I'm sorry its just been a roller coaster ride for me the past three hours.

Starting back about three weeks ago rumors started flying around that I was calling my guys names and stuff. This ended up with a few conversations with management who told me not to worry. Since my workers always complain that I'm a slave driver. When in reality I don't let them curse, make racist jokes and talk about woman in a negative or sexual light like my co supervisor when I'm not there. I had no problem if they didn't like it since I'm not trying to make friends I'm trying to get a 2,300 piece truck unloaded and pulled to the floor in three hours. It stopped for a few days and then this Sunday I had management asking me if I called one of my guys a jerk. And I told them I've worked by myself all day and can count on one hand how many people I've talked to. And I should have picked it up but I didn't the guy that outed me told me before management that this one guy went to complain to me.

And then yesterday before I started working the one guy that complained to me wanted to talk to me in private. And got really mad at me because I told him I wouldn't since I was not working yet, and he got really mad. And I decided if he did want to talk after I started I would do it with a manager with me to document. He did not bring it up rest of the night to me so now I wonder what he was going to tell me?

And I believe I already wrote this down but he planned this out last night. By having the eight guys go outside to parade my picture around. And this morning I talked to my one friend who was friends with her on Facebook and he ended up blocking her within the past few hours. And really I know the guys are shaking in their boots since when that happened they should have gone right away to the manager who was over us. Or at least the one who let me know and now all of them have a major policy violation check mark on their name. It just hurts me that everyone knew about me for over two hours and I was just oblivious to the fact.

So when I talked to HR this afternoon like I said she was very understanding but really mad at the guy. And told me I was really brave for even coming in and working up the courage to talk to her. She really helped me a lot and worked like mad to get a shift manager to talk to me. And reassured me that nothing was going to happen to me and any of the four shift managers would support me since we don't have a store manager at the moment.

Talking to the shift manager at first was really hard. But she was just like the HR manager and reassured me I had nothing to be afraid of. Like I said she was awfully upset at how I'd be treated. And I got told that I have nothing to worry about that they like me where I am and can keep my position even as female. And that they are there to help me out and that I don't need to try to please them. And they will have no tolerance for ill treatment towards me. Also she gave me some information if I felt the need to get help through the company for anything.

So right now I have really conflicting emotions going on. I'm still upset kind of scared of whats going to happen Friday when I go back. But I'm also really happy since its finally over with and really kind of feel at peace with myself since I feel like a woman finally. So I guess the next step is to go all the way full time which will happen really quick now. Which does have the postive effect that I won't have to present as male for much longer.

Sorry for writing a book but thanks for reading!

Sounds like that guy almost did you a favor.  He probably would have started harassing you in any way he could have even if he didn't out you to your coworkers.  Transgender or not, his actions against any employee shouldn't be tolerated anywhere.

Secretly exposing private information that doesn't pertain to work at all purely to negatively impact a coworker not only isn't nice to the person they're targeting, but it also speaks volumes to that person's moral fiber.  I hope after he's fired he struggles to find a new job due to other companies calling for references.  I'm not in HR, but just as a human, I'd hope any HR department would at the very least think twice about even considering the guy after finding out what he did.

Talk about a short-sighted fool.

I realize now that he was trying to pit the others guys against me, and I don't know how that would've ended up. I just don't know why he felt the need. I've always been kind to him and listened to him whenever had had any problems, drove him home from work a few times, gave him money for lunch when he was broke etc. And he felt the need to pay me back this way. I guess he is just one of those people scared of trans people I have no idea. But at least I came out on top and he hopefully walked out learning how not to treat people.

It sounds like you have underlying problems with the team, which have been around from before the 'outing' episode.

I would watch my back ... something tells me this isn't just about you being trans ... that has just been an opportunity for somebody to jump on :~s

Quote from: RavenL on July 15, 2015, 05:20:13 PMAnd the guy that outed me is going to get fired.

I left that part to mention later.

Where I work, there is a policy bit about spreading rumors, gossip and creating an unsafe and unhealthy work environment. Any of which can be a reason for the troublemaker to be so fired.

Hugs, will read larger chunks later.

Quote from: Zoetrope on July 16, 2015, 02:02:10 AM
It sounds like you have underlying problems with the team, which have been around from before the 'outing' episode.

I would watch my back ... something tells me this isn't just about you being trans ... that has just been an opportunity for somebody to jump on :~s

I'm honestly not worried about it at all. When I first took the position half the team quit after a couple of weeks since they couldn't get away with being lazy. And the other half of the team was happy that I actually got work done and helped out. And I don't think any of them are going to risk a job by doing something stupid.

Alright, read the rest.

What that guy did sounds like what I could expect from my hi-school classmates. And they were horrible.

I can't provide a definite advice how to improve relations with subordinates, because I never worked with the particular profile of employees in question. Who I worked with are children (for 3 years), university students (for 2.5 years), and also other tech persons like myself (many years).

To me it seems there might be space for improvement in your environment, as it feels like tensions are present that are not part of the profession.

Quote from: michellemartine on July 16, 2015, 12:19:46 PM
Alright, read the rest.

What that guy did sounds like what I could expect from my hi-school classmates. And they were horrible.

I can't provide a definite advice how to improve relations with subordinates, because I never worked with the particular profile of employees in question. Who I worked with are children (for 3 years), university students (for 2.5 years), and also other tech persons like myself (many years).

To me it seems there might be space for improvement in your environment, as it feels like tensions are present that are not part of the profession.

I totally argree that what he did was like something kids would do in school. He's still young only 21 and I can say from what I know he doesn't have a ton of life experience. Hopefully he got some life experience last night.

As for as the environment I'm not going to worry about it. I'm still in my position and everyone has to respect that. I will have respect for everyone and if anyone says anything negative towards me I'm not going to talk back just report it.

But the tensions that are present in my area are due to a lot. Since right now the shift manager that's over my area doesn't really pay much attention to anyone's problems which has caused moral to fall. Also he is really bad at playing favorites which I've brought up before and get told there's nothing they can do right now. But hopefully this will be a wake up call for him.

I'm glad the situation worked out for the best. I hope things go as well for you as they have for me. Plus there is nothing better than not having to hide anymore.

When I came out I had both the HR lady and my manager personally on my side. As a direct result the few minor issues I had ironed themselves out in practically no time at all. People call me Ashley now. I've felt a lot of respect by my fellow employees. I know in the building next door there was a lady who was on her own and she had to fight for everything. It just goes to show you the people at the top can make all the difference.

hi Raven,
I am so glad for you for standing up for your rights and going back in...
remember this is your life and you are still in control, you have the say of when you choose to go full time or not.
It sounds like your hr department is going to be supportive that will help a lot, you need to be ready also
you take control and live it your way

Raven,  thanks so much for sharing your experience with us.   It is truly helpful to me to hear about what happened to you and how you handled it ; freek out and all.   It just reinforces for me that this may have some challenging moments; but that it's how we respond to them in the end that really matters.   

Clara

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Quote from: Claraaa on July 16, 2015, 07:28:22 PM
Raven,  thanks so much for sharing your experience with us.   It is truly helpful to me to hear about what happened to you and how you handled it ; freek out and all.   It just reinforces for me that this may have some challenging moments; but that it's how we respond to them in the end that really matters.   

Clara

Clara glad I was able to help you out.

I'm nervous and excited about going back to work tomorrow. I think I've weathered the hardest part right now and can take anything that's thrown at me. If anyone has any questions I will be very polite with them. Also I'm not going to bother hiding my mannerisms anymore and just be myself. The shift manager is going to be there tomorrow so I'm going to discuss the next steps to take. I might even suggest small baby steps like even changing my name on my badge to Raven since I never work directly with the public hardly. Also guess its time to start buying new clothes for work and finally say goodbye to the male ones forever.

Well the guy gave you a favor. I'm happy it all turned out ok

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Well in a couple of hours my life is going to competently change. The dust has settled so see what is going to go on today. I'm already planning on getting a lot of questions, hearing rumors, negative comments and hopefully support. Trying to keep the butterflies in my stomach under control but they are creeping up right now.