If your situation is similar to mine, you'll get a few questions. I am more than happy to educate people so I didn't mind. I didn't get that many though.

When I went full time last month, I expected support but not to the overwhelming degree that I got.

You'll be fine I think. The world is different today and despite the gripes about Caitlyn Jenner and trans visibility, people seeing her in the public eye show us that transgender people are here and we aren't going anywhere, and we deserve your respect.

I got questions but they were more along the line of how do I feel, how is my family etc. But after a few days they simply died down. Management has been very good to me and they respect my space but also treat me fully as a woman. Almost no one asks questions now.

People have congratulated me, sent me flowers, and even struck up conversations in the restrooms. I also have a regular breakfast chit chat with my teammates who had pretty much slid into social isolation with me, but now they feel more comfortable with me. One of them was the only woman on the team and she was overjoyed that she now has company.

So relax and enjoy the ride. It's going to be good.

And do expect occasional misgendering and deadnaming because people will not get it all at once. As long as they sincerely try and correct themselves when they slip I am fine. You should be too.

You got flowers? I'm jealous now.

Quote from: awilliams1701 on July 17, 2015, 02:03:58 PM
You got flowers? I'm jealous now.

Yep. The next day after I went FT I found this on my desk. (Not the magazines, they're mine.)

Well this was a surprise I got interviewed for a better position last week and was offered it today. It's going to pay me almost double what I'm making now and I'll have three days off in a row and not split days like I was working. I also be working out on the floor with much nicer people that are really chill.

I also took this opportunity to talk with the shift manager again and discussed going full time pretty quickly and she is going to hold a meeting between me and market HR Tuesday. I suggested even if it's quick to go for next Saturday for transition so people will be used to how I look from the start and not be changing over after presenting as male months down the line. Since i start my new job next Saturday.  I'm buying new work clothes and shoes tonight and I don't care if anyone sees me

Also with the extra money I'm making I'm going to start saving $300 a month for SRS.

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From tears to cheers!

Wonderful, just totally wonderful!

Just another quick update. First off I managed to survive working the entire nine hours with no problems. I also another  supervisor that is over my area in the morning and afternoons know about me. It was kind of funny when I told him I was transgender he said "I have no idea what that is." I gave him a super quick run down and he was fine with it. He was just mad at how I got treated the other night by the guy.

I also talked a little to the other supervisor in my warehouse that I work with tonight about what went on. And I guess they didn't fire the guy yet but he was really mad and wouldn't talk to anyone the last couple days. And the supervisor says he has my back if anything happens. He also asked if I'd be interested in trying to help out one of his friends who is MtF but is afraid to come out to her parents I said sure!

After that I started talking to one of my guys on the crew who was there Tuesday night. And he told me that the guy who outed me was mad and wouldn't talk last night. I said "Well he's mad at getting in trouble since you know what he did Tuesday night and about me" I could tell he wasn't lying and said he had no idea what went on that night. And I finally came out and told him I was trans. And I was shocked since he was cool with it since his bio dad is now female and said he wants to stay friends. One interesting bit of information he did give me apparently rumors have been flying around for three weeks about me being trans, so the guy has been really busy. Rest of the guys were just really quite around me tonight and  didn't try to give me in trouble which I'm thankful for.

And then to top it off tonight I got brave enough to let another manager know about me. So I just asked to speak to him in private and explained everything that has been going on. Since he's been really worried about me lately since I've been looking unhappy. He was 100% understanding and has a lot of knowledge on transgender people since his daughter is active in helping out the community. He was really glad I felt comfortable enough to come to him and said he'll help me out anyway he can.

All and all I think that was a pretty good day!

That is all so marvelous Raven! I can't believe how fast that all turned around. I am so happy for you!

Raven, I am sorry I am seeing this thread for the first time but the 15th was the day of my voice surgery and the 16th was the very long trip home. It's not the lack of fear that make this work, but facing your fears. In the last couple of months I have watched you deal with every obstacle that has been placed before you and you have overcome it with strength and determination. I think this will is important to you in two ways. You will make a new personal life that will be of your own choosing and not one defined by others and at work you will find another promotion in the not to distant future. Your company seems to know character and the lack there of when they see it and you are the type of person they need. Your managers all seem to have been selected for this ability and there is always room for more of it in any company. Your handling of this problem has exposed your abilities in this area so once again, it was you who turned a real problem into a success. I understand how hard it was on you but facing these problems is never easy. Congratulations on a job very well done.

Kellam, thank you! I just wish everyone else around the world that's going through the same issues as me could have kind of have any easy time like me.

Dena, I hope you're recovery from voice surgery is going well!

Its still kind of hard for me to wrap my head around everything that's gone on in a couple months. Reading other people's stories where it can range anywhere from months to years for a full transition. And I'm having eveything speed by my at an alarming rate. I guess somehow it was meant to be and life finally gave me a break after being cruel to me for twenty six years.

Its funny you bring up me being selected for my ability's by the managers. Since that's what the shift manager told me last night. That she could see I'm a very hard worker and where I was at I couldn't be at my full potential. And she believes that I'm going to be a very good leader.

As for my handing of the problem I really have to thank everyone here! If it wasn't for this place I don't know what I would have done this week.

Just an update for this Saturday night

I was in charge of the guys for the first time since Tuesday. They did not fire the bad apple like I thought they would have and he worked with me tonight. I was polite when I saw him and asked how he was doing. Now here is the part I need advice on he told me he was doing great since he um had relations with a woman last night but he did not put it in those terms. I've talked to my sister who is trying to get into HR and she said that is a form of harassment which he's been told to knock off. I thought about reporting it then and there put the managers that already know about me were not there tonight nor was HR. And I was really not in the mood to go through the entire thing. So tomorrow afternoon even if its going to be hard I'm going to have a one on one with another shift manager and he doesn't know about me yet and see if he can resolve a few things.

The bad apple also got really mad at me because I kept telling him not to swear. Again I wanted to  report it but when it started happening only one manager was on duty and super busy and it would have been like pulling teeth to report it.

The rest of guys were kind of quite around me tonight. Apart from one new guy who I guess doesn't know about me since he was friendly. But I could tell one of them thought I was coming across as aggressive when I wasn't. Its just the way he talks to me brings up my flight or fight response which I've tried to tell him but he doesn't get. 

That's it for tonight

Raven you rock girl!  Congratulations on your promotion at work.   

That guy sounds like a total wanker, as for your promo gratz =) and glad you pulled through it.

What I would do @beingwithwoman right there and then is asking him what he means so no ambiguosity comes in play. If I dont get enough, I'd let it slide. If it is not one timer, it will escalate further and he would be easier to report.

So, like with my 'stalker', I want to make sure I've got enough material and witnesses and then he can either get fired or sued
Or both. My stalker is a family man at verge of 40s. I reckon he doesn't want to mess up his life. If what he did is one timer then fine.

Quote from: RavenL on July 19, 2015, 03:00:48 AM
Just an update for this Saturday night

I was in charge of the guys for the first time since Tuesday. They did not fire the bad apple like I thought they would have and he worked with me tonight. I was polite when I saw him and asked how he was doing. Now here is the part I need advice on he told me he was doing great since he um had relations with a woman last night but he did not put it in those terms. I've talked to my sister who is trying to get into HR and she said that is a form of harassment which he's been told to knock off. I thought about reporting it then and there put the managers that already know about me were not there tonight nor was HR. And I was really not in the mood to go through the entire thing. So tomorrow afternoon even if its going to be hard I'm going to have a one on one with another shift manager and he doesn't know about me yet and see if he can resolve a few things.

The bad apple also got really mad at me because I kept telling him not to swear. Again I wanted to  report it but when it started happening only one manager was on duty and super busy and it would have been like pulling teeth to report it.

The rest of guys were kind of quite around me tonight. Apart from one new guy who I guess doesn't know about me since he was friendly. But I could tell one of them thought I was coming across as aggressive when I wasn't. Its just the way he talks to me brings up my flight or fight response which I've tried to tell him but he doesn't get. 

That's it for tonight

Leadership is something I have learned a good deal about because I have had some that has been very bad and some that has been very good. My employment has put me into positions where there wasn't upward mobility so I haven't really had people under me but my profession has always required me to manage myself.

I think the advice you need is that the people you work with are not your friends, instead they are your coworkers. The only thing you should expect from them and judge them on is their ability to get the job done and not disturb the function of the team they are on. You have unskilled people working for you and as such they will be a little on the crude side. A few slips should be tolerated but if they go out of their way to be rude you do have a problem that needs to be addressed. Where you draw the line is going to be a judgement call and that is what they are going to pay you the big bucks for.
When I first meet my roommate many years ago, she was still in the male role at work doing part time at home. It took months to get her language cleaned up even though she wanted to be a woman and knew the use of that type of language wasn't appropriated. This is not a habit that is broken overnight and you will win more support from them by working with them than confronting them. Emotionally it is going to be hard on you and it will test your patience at times but try not to let it get under your skin. After all, this is only a job.

PS. You might ask the bad apple if he uses that type of language around his mother.

Sounds like it worked out very well for you! It really is a different world, isn't it? Of the people that either found out about me or I told, about 10% of them said they already had one or more trans friends. We're not as uncommon as we think, well in my area at least.

Quote from: Emileeeee on July 19, 2015, 09:06:17 AM
Sounds like it worked out very well for you! It really is a different world, isn't it? Of the people that either found out about me or I told, about 10% of them said they already had one or more trans friends. We're not as uncommon as we think, well in my area at least.

Things have change much over the years. When I under went SRS in 1982, we figured the surgical numbers somewhere around 60,000. That really made me feel like a minority. When I learned from the Jenner interview the estimated percentage of the population treated or not was 700,000, the world suddenly grew much larger to me. In addition, society has become more accepting and there is far less fear helping people move out of the shadows. In that respect, I think exposure has been good for us.

Thanks Lady Smith! And Jatztay!

Michelle and Dena thank you! The bad apple I'm going to keep a close eye on and I'm documenting everything he is saying to me right now. I've already told me crew that really they have one last day to work with me before next week. And I do expect them to work in a professional manner around me. And also reinforced that they should be working professionally to begin with regardless.  I only have four days left right now in my area and I can pretty much keep to myself. So any slip ups unless it comes out directly aimed at me I'm letting go. I imagine when I get out in the public things will improve greatly since you really can't curse around customers and everyone has to be on their best behavior. Also I'll be at the top of the food chain so to speak with my position and will actually have supervisors of my own under me.   

Thanks everyone for the advice!

And the mid afternoon update. The shift manager that has been helping me is here today. And she's already talked to the market office and I am good to go as female whenever I feel like it! So I said well is Saturday alright? And it's fine as long as I am good with it. She's going to hold meetings with the other managers and workers this week. 

The only thing I'll have to use the family bathroom. Which I'm alright with foe now. But I told her in a few weeks will have to see since I'll be changing the sex on my ID.


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Are you getting a legal name change? It seems like you may be rushing into going full time, as it seems that I read one of your posts from only a couple of months ago where you said that you went out dressed in women's clothes for the first time. Sorry if I'm being a little negative, but I've seen to many people rush through their transition with bad consequences. Just because you were outed, it doesn't mean that you have to go full time right now.