I see her so happy and not having to go through male puberty and having friends and enjoying life, and realize it's too late for me.

Makenzie, it's not to late. Trust me it's not. It's only to late when your no longer alive and well. It's true I was stuck going through a yucky male puberty, but in the end we have been able to deal with that. I'm happy and have friends and all of that allows me to enjoy life. I have done all of this while in my mid to up thirties. I'm sorry that you feel otherwise, but there are things that can be done. I know things are not going the way you would like them to and I have no doubt that frustrates you to know end. I know it did me when I was your age, but with the knowledge you have even now you have a huge head start on where I'm at. Hugs
Mariah

Well it's just hell knowing I can't stop puberty. It's miserable!

I know. I have been there and done that. So many of us around her know how that goes since the same thing occurred to us and all we could do is painfully watch it drag on. It stinks I know and I take your situation doesn't allow you access to puberty blockers at this point. Still you will be able to get on something long before I did and as has been pointed out puberty does go into the 20's a bit before it's completely done on the most part. Hugs
Mariah

Quote from: Makenzie on July 19, 2015, 04:37:41 PM
Well it's just hell knowing I can't stop puberty. It's miserable!

Yeah... it just sucks since I don't want all this crap like facial hair. I don't even know if blockers can do anything at 16 anyway

They should be able to stop it from going any further. It won't undo what is done, but should stop further changes. Facial hair is among the worst parts of it know doubt. Argh. Hugs
Mariah

Quote from: Makenzie on July 19, 2015, 04:44:20 PM
Yeah... it just sucks since I don't want all this crap like facial hair. I don't even know if blockers can do anything at 16 anyway

Regret is a long dismal road that it's easy for all of us to get dragged down. The fact is that your life as it has been is what made you the terrific person you are. Yes, transition may be harder for us than it will be for JJ, but we're older and better able to deal with it.

There will always be people who have it easier than we do, whether having to do with transition, or job, family, looks, money, talent, or just dumb luck. I find comparing my lot in life with someone else's is never a productive activity.

I know, but it's just hard. I know I need to come out, but with my family it could lead me down a road no one should go on, but it's depressing that I can't come out and be accepted.

I will agree i envy her and all those very lucky trans kids, who are able to have a childhood as themselves. I also feel so happy for them and hope that in the not so distant future that is how all transgender individuals face there life.

That said I have been working hard to look forward not backward to not regret what I didn't have but focus on what I might still have, some days I admit its almost impossible, others I can just about convince myself that things will be good.

in your case if you can get yourself on T-blockers at 18 and estrogen as soon after that as you can, you can minimize the issues, facial hair may appear early but its rare for it to be all that full and thick until the mid 20's, catch it early with hormones and a few sessions of laser and a few more electro should solve that problem.

right now when I do regret my past its not that my parents didn't get me help early on but rather that I didn't get myself help when I was 18-19 rather than waiting till I am 34 to start, that I let the misery and fear keep me from acting for 15 years, now there is that much more baggage to deal with.

::hugs:: things will work out if you just trust your feelings and refuse to let others decide where you should stand.