Anyone else here struggle/struggled with breaking and/or changing the way they speak, think, act, etc. from those behaviors typically associated with the sex they were born as? I know I'm not a girl inside, but because of trying to conform for so many years, a lot of my mannerisms are not seen as the ones normally displayed for a guy. Rather, they are on the feminine side. Anyone else relate? How did you deal with this?

I am working on that as well as trying to limit other less desirable actions. I also spend far too much time being super self aware wondering if that last gesture or word choice was feminine enough or too fem, did it come off campy and overblown or was it what you would expect, am I walking correctly, do I even need to adjust my walk, there is not any hip wiggle in it but I do feel I have long walked from my hips and legs not my sholders.

I truly wish I had more a chance to hang out in social situations with just women, I feel everyone tends to adopt the gestures and actions of those around them. So ya I spend too much time in fact struggling to adjust things, which is not easy when hanging out mostly with the same mostly male friends, its so easy to fall back on old actions. To complicate that there are some aspects of who I have been that I am hanging on to that I like even if they may not be terribly feminine but I like them.

My hardest struggle is not really about passing its about how I think, mostly how I think about and treat myself, I agree with just about everyone that if i can just treat myself like I treat others, forgive myself for my mistakes, stop insulting my appearance, my weight, my hopeless love life, exc. I will be much better off, if I can convince myself to just accept peoples compliments and not assume they are just humoring me or think I am sick or wrong and just want to not upset me. If I can just be told "I love your hair and your make up looks good" and just say thank you and not spend the next 10 minutes argueing with them or myself about how awful I look.

Ok that all went off topic but ya your not the only one trying to work on the non visual side of this, I know a trans masculine type who has been presenting male for 3 or 4 years and I pointed out one day that they cross there arms in a way few men ever do, they knew about that and keep trying to avoid it but its a nervous habit, I then suggested they try harder to avoid it in the sweater they where wearing as the action sorta frames certain attributes they are trying to downplay. I personally have started crossing my arms the same way, mostly to push a little cleavage into showing off same action same result but one of us is looking for that result. :-P

Serena

I'm happy to hear I'm not the only one, but I'm sorry you are still struggling with it :/ This is why transmen and transwomen need to work together to teach each other everything we learned from trying to conform to our biological sex to help the other pass xD And not only am I struggling to change some of my mannerisms from those I learned from hanging out with only females, but even just getting used to be referred to by male pronouns is proving to be hard since I'm so used to hearing the female ones.

getting use to a new name and pronouns is difficult, a month in and it still takes a extra split second to recognize Serena. Even harder is learning to tune out your old name and pronouns and not react to them, or at least correct people.

Unfortunatly I would be a awful masculinity teacher. I was never terribly convincing as a male, I talk with my hands too much, sit or stand wrong all the time, really I am terrible, there is a reason everyone in high school and half the people I have met sense assumed I was gay. That and if you stare at some girls chest and make a comment about how cool her fairy shirt is just one time everyone starts thinking things! :-)

I still have a lot to get used to but I feel it could be much much worse.

Serena

i spend a lot of time at the mall just watching how other guys move and walk and stuff and just watching kind of helps. whenever im walking with another guy i like to stay behind them and watch how they walk and try to sort of mimic it. i think the best help to changing your mannerisms to more the more masuline ones is to just hand around cis guys and take in the little details of how they talk/move/etc.

I learned a couple of simple rules (hands and wrists relaxed, elbows closer to body, move hip forward as you walk). I try to concentrate only on those elements. Seemed to help. I'm about the least kinesthetically aware person I know, but I have no trouble moving like a woman.

I think the way I conquered many of my mannerisms and speaking that was perceived as the my assigned gender was by avoiding saying and doing things by rote.  I try to literally think about everything I am going to do and say.  In a way, I have slowed down a little bit and am enjoying every moment now.

I'm really having to work on how I speak around people. I'm finally starting to catch myself before I make a mistake. Or even thinking before I speak. One thing that's helping is I'm reconnecting with a bunch of my old friends from my old job and starting to go out to lunch or shopping every week. Its slow going but I can see just a little progress right now. I've noticed I'm walking with my hips a lot better now without even having to think about it.

And goblin boy gives some really good advice. I'm going the same thing everyday I got out expect watching how females walk.

I think... estrogen made a lot of the changes automatically. There are still a few things. I don't gesture with my eyes as much as I'd like. Sometimes I do, and it feels forced. But not always. And sometimes I point at things with my face, yanno what I mean? But everything else, posture, gestures, mannerisms, and speaking, has come pretty automatically. Sometimes I notice women doing things, because I find myself doing them.