Hi, I'm still new but I have dream.

A world where nobody cares what you wear.

If you had no fear what people think. And this is obviously aimed at my fellow closet dwellers. How would you dress in public? and how do you think the mall might look?

I know there are trail blazers here who don't pass and don't care. I admire these folks and love them for making it easier for everyone of us who thinks about coming out. But. If there was no reason to fear, how would you dress in public? I think a trickle might become a flood. What if it 10% or more?

In 17th century Britain, some men wore clothes with a very feminine cut. It looks feminine now and it was based on womens clothes then. They were called Dandies and some "real" men looked down on them but they weren't bothered or victimised particularly otherwise. Some men wore full female garb. They were usually considered homosexuals. Which we know was only true if they liked girls!. Anyway, as far as I can tell, they were generally accepted as just another part of society. But I'm thinking of something more utopian...

In the pilot episode of Star Trek TNG, very near the beginning, a man walks across the scene. I have watched this a few times now and there is no mistaking it. He is wearing a female tunic. Muscly, hairy arms and legs. Casually strolling among his fellow starfleet people without a care in the world. Makes my heart sing with hope, that scene does. I'd like to think the great Gene Rodenberry slipped that in as a nod to us. It is never repeated. Not as I've noticed. I'd love someone to find something similar.

I would wear a dress most days, I wouldn't care about makeup. Long hair, not particularly well kept. And if I knew no-one cared, I'd feel like a brincess.

About 10% of the population is left handed. About 10% Fully gay, 10% fully straight and everyone else somewhere in between. (That statistic came from a BBC documentary. The researchers were American. They showed you pictures and measured your arousal. You couldn't lie. Quite interesting. Surprised me.) 5% are twins. 2.5% are born intergender. Many never know because their parents never tell them. Another BBC documentary. I think now a child is more likely to be left to choose for themselves though. At least I hope so.

So how many crossdressers are there really? I know a friend of my brothers is one of us. He came out to my brother during a divorce because he didn't want my brother to hear it from the wife. My brother was as cool as could be. They're still good friends many years later. This guy would NEVER dress in public. Truck driver. Hard manly man. But he might like to in my fantasy paradise. What percentage of men would express their femininity if we all woke up tomorrow without fear?

A sub question for the wider community, How many would put less effort into passing if you knew everyone would accept you no matter how you looked?

So, looking like a bit of a lecture or essay there. er sorry about that. but if you've read this far, is it an interesting question? Thoughts?

B

Every crossdresser site I've been on pegs the number at one man in twenty, 5% of the population. Sounds right to me.

Hugs, Devlyn

Quote from: BirlPower on July 20, 2015, 06:30:32 PM
A sub question for the wider community, How many would put less effort into passing if you knew everyone would accept you no matter how you looked?

So, looking like a bit of a lecture or essay there. er sorry about that. but if you've read this far, is it an interesting question? Thoughts?

B

Hard to answer. I think gendering people is subconscious and nearly impossible to stop doing. I still do it. I'm embarrassed to say that I frequently misgender some of my not so passable friends. I know they are women from top to bottom and through and through but my stubborn brain tosses out a male pronoun, and then hides in the corner when I scold it.

I'm wondering if it would make a difference if we were born into a world where two-spirit was normal and accepted. How many of us who currently work hard to "hide" would then not bother. And how many would experience the dysporia regardless and would want to fully transition and be seen as women. In other words, how much hiding would we stop doing if we weren't concerned about being accepted because it wasn't an issue. Like in some native american societies for example.

I don't go out dressed because I'm terrified of the negative reaction. I've started growing my hair our about 10 months ago. It is long enough to be really scruffy but too short to tie in a ponytail. I get some disgusted looks from older men but quite a few smiles from older women. Younger people tend not to give me a second glance. I actually quite like the reactions but the disgusted looks would be unbearable to me if I was dressed femme. I wish it wasn't so but there it is.

The look that I think I'd be most comfortable with in any society is person of indeterminate gender in a dress. Though I guess from what you've said suzi is that I would be likely to be gendered female because of the dress. If my face and body don't give a clear answer then the clothing would be the final arbiter of gender and I'd need to dress ambiguously if I wanted to keep people guessing. But would that be diffferent in a society that was comfortable with gender abmiguity and expected to encounter such people on a regular basis. In that situation people might be less inclined to jump to conclusions about gender where we give off mixed signals about it.

I suppose it probably depends on how much of our need to gender each other by look is biological and how much is social conditioning.

Thanks for the responses so far. I expect you more seasoned travellers will have given this more thought than me. I value your insights.

B