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Why am I so nervous about telling my dad

Started by Butch2325, July 21, 2015, 08:08:21 AM

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Butch2325

My dad is a very accepting man he loves me no matter what. I'm just so freaking nervous and I don't know why. He knows I have thought a lot about it and all. I just want to tell him yes I am and I'm going through with it and I know he will be fine but I'm scared to death.
Be true. Be you! Be true to you.
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Tysilio

It's natural to be scared. My #1 fear about transitioning was that the people I love would reject me. It does happen to some folks, unfortunately, but it doesn't sound like your dad is apt to do that.  Still, no matter how much you "know" he loves you, it's still a huge step to tell him that you're not the person he thinks you are, and it can feel like stepping off a cliff.

I wish you the best, and I bet it goes just fine.

Never bring an umbrella to a coyote fight.
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FTMax

I waited almost a decade to transition because I was sure my dad and stepmom would want nothing to do with me, being conservative religious types. Surprisingly, they have been the most accepting of my transition and have worked incredibly hard to gender me correctly and use the right name.

It's natural to be nervous when you're revealing something about yourself to someone that matters a lot to you.
T: 12/5/2014 | Top: 4/21/2015 | Hysto: 2/6/2016 | Meta: 3/21/2017

I don't come here anymore, so if you need to get in touch send an email: maxdoeswork AT protonmail.com
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AndrewB

What others have said is true, even if you know where you're going to land (or have a generally idea), taking that leap can be a scary instance even so. I know for me, admitting to my parents that I was trans meant admitting to myself that this was something that was real, needed handling, and that I would just have to roll with the changes to my life as they came; I came out to my parents the same night I came out to myself, which was maybe stupid because I didn't have time to educate myself a lot on how to do it. But it sounds like you've given this some thought, and so long as you don't just shout it out randomly and then run off without explaining things, you should be okay. All things worth doing are worth the effort.  :)
Andrew | 21 | FTM | US | He/Him/His








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Butch2325

I'm taking him to lunch since his birthday was yesterday. I know he accepts me for everything I feel like I'm disappointing him I guess... my mom always told me she was disappointed with me being a lesbians when I came out as a lez. I feel like that's y I feel the way I do now.
Be true. Be you! Be true to you.
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AndrewB

Quote from: Butch2325 on July 21, 2015, 09:01:26 AM
I'm taking him to lunch since his birthday was yesterday. I know he accepts me for everything I feel like I'm disappointing him I guess... my mom always told me she was disappointed with me being a lesbians when I came out as a lez. I feel like that's y I feel the way I do now.

Losing family can be really tough, but if you're fortunate, for every person you lose to this, you'll find that several unexpected friends and family members will really shine and show some amazing support for you. Just take things at your own pace, and understand that even if he accepts you, he may need some time/distance to process everything you've told him. Even my parents, who are super supportive now, were a little tough to handle when they were uninformed and trying to "grieve" the loss of a daughter, as they saw it.
Andrew | 21 | FTM | US | He/Him/His








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RaptorChops

I was scared as hell to come out to my parents for a second time (first being a lesbian). For me it was quite easy because my best friend of many years came out first and started his transition before me. Then my parents watched Chaz Bono on Dancing with the Stars and they were like "he turned out to be a really nice guy". I then told them at dinner one night and they were like "You do whatever you want to be happy with your life,We'll support you all the way through". After I had my top surgery and I came home from the surgery my parents (plus my brother) all signed a get well card for me. They gave me a bunch of candy too haha it was nice.

If your dad already knows you've thought about it and he hasn't cut you off then I'm sure he will be accepting of it. It's interesting to see how each parent reacts with everyone. It seems like the dads are the hardest ones to get through to. My dad was always easier to talk to than my mom because she's more strict than him.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I dunno.
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