When I first came here I discovered just how much the definition of gender has expanded in the time I have been out of therapy. We worked with a pretty binary definition but it did allow some variation. Hormones or dress don't really define who you are. In my case, I discovered that I was a person who wanted to live in the normal female role. I could do that without surgery and if I had to without hormones though I would have been better off with castration to rid myself of the male hormones (castration wasn't an option that was considered much in those days).
I found male hormones to be really aggressive on the mind, something I had a hard time living with. I don't really know what it is like for a FTM but I suspect it's the changes they cause that results in the distress they feel rather than beating on the brain they are uncomfortable with. If that is the case, living without T for a FTM may be more comfortable that it is for a MTF and T.
The fact you feel big time dysphoria indicates to me you are not very fluid and have a pretty male orientation. I wouldn't think somebody fluid would have much dysphoria or if they did, appearance changes could deal with most of it.
I know this post kind of rambles a bit but I am still attempting to understand gender fluid myself and these are some of the thoughts I have had about it. I am still learning from others on this board and I may get it all figured out some day
