Dearest friends and best enemies,
few of you will be aware that two years ago I was widowed after 25 wonderful years, and as I was getting older I must confess that I was very worried that I might never find someone again.
Worse still Alison left big boots to fill. She was a very kind gentle soul, who was wonderfully tender and loving. She also shared my passions for vintage audio, video and computer equipment, my love of music and my love or writing, and despite being the best part of 20 years my senior she had a very youthful energy. So the person I found would need to be exceptional.
This is just to let you know that I have recently found someone wonderful, who not fills those boots, but positively blows Alison out of the water. I will not name her at present, a.) because it is early days and we have to get to know each other fully before going too public, and b.) because she deserves the space to come to her own decisions about what she wants. It is up to her when she chooses to tell others and not me, and c.) because she is a member here. (She may of course choose to out herself but that must be her choice and not mine.)
While there is quite an age difference between us I do want this to be a very equal relationship, and oddly despite the age gap I think it will be.
I wanted to share this at the earliest opportunity because I wanted to encourage those of you who are feeling lonely and lost – that it can happen for you too.
In my experience what the universe sends is often way better than you expected, but you do have to keep an open mind. That said I do seem to have entered a phase in my life where all I have to do is chuck a pile of junk into the air, and when it lands it has miraculously become a Rolls-Royce.
When Alison was Ill I was adamant that I would never be the older partner in a relationship, because I would not want to put someone younger through being bereaved as I was. However I have now realised that that was all a valuable part of the learning curve. Alison tenderly nurtured me from the point where we met, where I was a young and insecure girl, with many fears and issues, to the point where I COULD face life without her, as I have now proved.
Whichever way I look at it, the idea of one partner dying before the other is a difficult one, but I would far rather have had the twenty five incredible years that I had, than have had many more years with someone less compatible and less special. I suspect Alison is sitting on her cloud right now having a jolly good chuckle at the irony.
So I wanted to share some good news. I am fully aware that I am deeply in love at the moment, and thus I realise that my spectacles are tinted pink, and my judgement is probably awry. So rest assured we are both taking this strictly one step at a time. I know the pitfalls and I will not allow either of us to get swept along and be hurt. I know that that the initial rush will soon subside, and then we will then face the task of building a lasting relationship together, but I call you all to witness that I for one am very willing to do that work. I intend this to be for life. The next couple of years will tell us whether or not that will come about.
If it can happen for me it can happen for you too. So please take heart. I cant guarantee of course, how this will progress, but we will keep you posted of developments when the time comes.
