I can't cope, I want to be a girl.

What do I do? I dunno where to start.

My next gender clinic appointment is in September, what do I do inthe mean time?

Next week, a girl is taking me out and helping me shop and then we are going for lunch, I am going dressed as a woman so I am ->-bleeped-<-ting myself about it.

On Sunday night I had the though "I want to be a woman, I am a woman" and I sat with it. I had it again last night and today.

What do I do? Should I tell people? I am already out as trans but I haven't shared this particular thought with anyone yet. I dunno what to do.

I ordered some gender books off of Amazon last night so I can learn more about gender and myself.

I have been watching a lot of Ru Paul also.

I don't see myself as a drag queen but it is helping expose me to transgender stuff.

I think I could be slightly non-binary.

I dunno what to do. I feel like I need help. I FUDGING NEED A LOT OF FUDGING HELP!!! FUDGE!!!

Haha HEELLPPP

Quote from: Leki on July 22, 2015, 01:45:13 AM
I can't cope, I want to be a girl.

What do I do? I dunno where to start.

My next gender clinic appointment is in September, what do I do inthe mean time?

Next week, a girl is taking me out and helping me shop and then we are going for lunch, I am going dressed as a woman so I am ->-bleeped-<-ting myself about it.

On Sunday night I had the though "I want to be a woman, I am a woman" and I sat with it. I had it again last night and today.

What do I do? Should I tell people? I am already out as trans but I haven't shared this particular thought with anyone yet. I dunno what to do.

I ordered some gender books off of Amazon last night so I can learn more about gender and myself.

I have been watching a lot of Ru Paul also.

I don't see myself as a drag queen but it is helping expose me to transgender stuff.

I think I could be slightly non-binary.

I dunno what to do. I feel like I need help. I FUDGING NEED A LOT OF FUDGING HELP!!! FUDGE!!!

Haha HEELLPPP

Ru Paul is a known transphobe.. I'd avoid him like the plague.

Quote from: Leki on July 22, 2015, 01:45:13 AM
I can't cope, I want to be a girl.

What do I do? I dunno where to start.

I started going out dressed as a woman. I tried to go out at least once a week, if only to go shopping or to get a bite to eat. As I got more comfortable dressing as myself, I   (divorced/separated support group, trans-friendly all-female feminist reading group) as my female self. I gradually built up a wardrobe and a comfort level at being my female self. It helped to go to a trans support group (though a bad group is worse than none at all).

Is this something you might want to try?

watch some girly flicks, practice make up. hair , voice etc, is a million things to do while waiting

Quote from: kelly_aus on July 22, 2015, 01:58:30 AM
Ru Paul is a known transphobe.. I'd avoid him like the plague.

He is transgender, how can he be a transphobe?

His show is fun, annoying in places, but fun. I think it is teaching me more about identity and showing me not to be afraid to be feminine.

Quote from: Serenation on July 22, 2015, 05:56:00 AM
watch some girly flicks, practice make up. hair , voice etc, is a million things to do while waiting

Cheers girls, I shall try out the tips!

Hi Leki,

When you are out and about observe girls and women (but don't stare/oggle... yikes!) it is amazing how much you can pick up, I learned how to do my makeup (although I don't use much), hand gestures, how they walk and greet...

Katy xx

*
Unless I missed it, you do not give your age.  I personally do not define drag queen as transsexual.

September does seem so far in the future; you are good to have your plans for the interim.  You are fortuneate to have a female friend to help you select a wardrobe.  She can guide you to a style and color scheme that you like.  Save money and do a good turn - shop at Goodwill, Salvation Army, or other charity re-sale store.  Save more money and find the books at your public library.

You will need to feel comfortable in female attire.  Dress at home for a while before going anywhere in public.  I gradually moved from male clothes to uni-sex female clothes (jeans, tops, shoes / sandals) and realised that my presentation and others' perception of me was part of the change from male to female; I called that 'passing the passing test'.  In other words, if I presented my self as male in uni-sex female clothes, then people accepted me as male; if I presented my self as female in uni-sex female clothes, then people accepted me as female.  Do not over-complicate the simplicity.

Once I became comfortable in  non-uni-sex feminine attire (dresses, skirts), I made small adventures:  I went to the Post Office to buy stamps at the inside vending machine, I bought gasoline at the filling station, I bought groceries.  I gradually became more confident.  One counsellor advised me to find the most feminine of clothes I was willing to wear and wear those outfits as often as possible.  It helpt convince me and others of my femininity.

I had two operations during my transition:  an exploratory procedure (1982) and corrective surgery (1983).  I was a medical student; my exploratory procedure was at that university's medical center. They only knew of me as a male.  As I became confident as female, I went to that same medical center as female and 'wandered' the same halls;  no one recognised me as female.  I again experienced 'passing the passing test'.

There is no need to rush the transition process.  You will know when all is well.  ERT will be a big boost if that is the direction you are meant to take; it is reversible if you determine otherwise.

Be caerfull who you 'tell' - many people will hate you and will want to harm you.  Your family might hate you and reject you.  Be strong!  This is your life for you to decide; not the others, their role is to support you whatever decision you make for your own well-being.








*

Quote from: Leki on July 23, 2015, 01:22:37 AM
He is transgender, how can he be a transphobe?

His show is fun, annoying in places, but fun. I think it is teaching me more about identity and showing me not to be afraid to be feminine.

Hmm, where to start without breaking site rules.. His frequent use of words considered to be slurs is a start. The fact he willingly and wilfully misgenders transsexual people.

Here's a tame example of his vile spewings..

Quote
"Hey Ru, what's the difference between a drag queen and a transsexual?" 
RuPaul laughingly replies, "About twenty-five thousand dollars and a good surgeon."

Quote from: Sharon Anne McC on July 23, 2015, 01:59:55 AM
*
Unless I missed it, you do not give your age.  I personally do not define drag queen as transsexual.

September does seem so far in the future; you are good to have your plans for the interim.  You are fortuneate to have a female friend to help you select a wardrobe.  She can guide you to a style and color scheme that you like.  Save money and do a good turn - shop at Goodwill, Salvation Army, or other charity re-sale store.  Save more money and find the books at your public library.

You will need to feel comfortable in female attire.  Dress at home for a while before going anywhere in public.  I gradually moved from male clothes to uni-sex female clothes (jeans, tops, shoes / sandals) and realised that my presentation and others' perception of me was part of the change from male to female; I called that 'passing the passing test'.  In other words, if I presented my self as male in uni-sex female clothes, then people accepted me as male; if I presented my self as female in uni-sex female clothes, then people accepted me as female.  Do not over-complicate the simplicity.

Once I became comfortable in  non-uni-sex feminine attire (dresses, skirts), I made small adventures:  I went to the Post Office to buy stamps at the inside vending machine, I bought gasoline at the filling station, I bought groceries.  I gradually became more confident.  One counsellor advised me to find the most feminine of clothes I was willing to wear and wear those outfits as often as possible.  It helpt convince me and others of my femininity.

I had two operations during my transition:  an exploratory procedure (1982) and corrective surgery (1983).  I was a medical student; my exploratory procedure was at that university's medical center. They only knew of me as a male.  As I became confident as female, I went to that same medical center as female and 'wandered' the same halls;  no one recognised me as female.  I again experienced 'passing the passing test'.

There is no need to rush the transition process.  You will know when all is well.  ERT will be a big boost if that is the direction you are meant to take; it is reversible if you determine otherwise.

Be caerfull who you 'tell' - many people will hate you and will want to harm you.  Your family might hate you and reject you.  Be strong!  This is your life for you to decide; not the others, their role is to support you whatever decision you make for your own well-being.

*

I am 23. Ru Paulisn't transsexual but he is definitely transgender. You can't tell me an AMAB who spends half his life as a woman isn't trans.

I am already fully out, my family and most friends have accepted me.

Have you been happier since you transitioned? Is your life better? Are you a doctor? I am thinking of going to medical school.

Quote from: kelly_aus on July 23, 2015, 02:02:43 AM
Hmm, where to start without breaking site rules.. His frequent use of words considered to be slurs is a start. The fact he willingly and wilfully misgenders transsexual people.

Here's a tame example of his vile spewings..

What is so bad about that?

Thar to be a 'real' trans person you have to have surgeries, otherwise you're just a man in a dress.

Quote from: Elis on July 23, 2015, 02:16:00 AM
Thar to be a 'real' trans person you have to have surgeries, otherwise you're just a man in a dress.

That is so wrong on every single count I am going to address it as Forum Admin.

There is no reason whatsoever for a person to have any surgery to be accepted as their affirmed gender.

Everyone be they trans*, crossdresser, drag artist or any combination of the above is welcome to and will be included and respected on this site.

If you cannot accept that then leave before I ban you.

I will not accept intolerance of the community. I will not accept such ignorant comments on this site.

Cindy

Forum Admin

I was just answering Leki's question as to why that statement by Ru Paul was offensive. I in no way believe that to be true and didn't mean to offend anyone.

I could be wrong but I don't think that is what Elis meant, I think they were pointing out that the "what is so bad about that" Ru Paul quote is that Ru is implying you are not a real transgender person without surgery. I don't think Elis believes that personally hence the scare quotes around real. Basically I think they were explaining how that quote can be used as proof of Ru Paul being a transphobe.

Again I am only guessing though.

Edit: Elis just confirmed what I suspected

2. Any attempts to stage protests, dispute the site policies, the TOS/rules, or actions of the staff; in the public areas of this site will not be tolerated and will result in your removal. If you have any issues, contact Susan by email, or forum private message, and not bring these types of issues into the public spaces on this website. For the proper way to handle problems of this nature see item #20 below.


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Topic locked and I am very disappointed in the attitude of Elis.