I'm just so worried because when I'm a girl I don't change names and I am rarely a boy but a lot of times it's neither or girl please help

Quote from: BBGurl24 on July 10, 2015, 12:39:36 PM
Wowza i enjoy being non-binary
It's comfy
It Feels Right
I don't ever want it to leave me
I can pick a preferred pronoun at a preferred time.
I mostly go with her or they
I enjoy life as a non-binary
I feel like i was always non-binary just leaning towards female.
I also feel like im bigender and genderfluid and i believe that the genders change from time to time.

Well if you read that through you should feel some kind of joy... I'd say...

Just take your time... get used to it... play a bit with it...

there will be times when you will fell a bit more like a girl... and some times a bit less...

but what you have written is part of you... it does not have to be there all the time but it is part of you that will always come back.


Your worrying does not help. Its possible you feel a bit less then..
you could try to relax...
and things will get better and you will feel good again

hugs

Im starting to really doubt that i was ever genderfluid or trans  this is bothering me that i don't see it in me. I feel like wanting to be a girl is less strong its more or less a thought now except that im doing stuff to make me more like a girl. Im afraid that i never had it in the first place or its leaving me. Help!?

Well if you are genderfluid its supposed to be shifting a bit...
sometimes some aspects are stronger, sometimes weaker...
but it will not leave you ever.
Simply knowing should be some kind of relief.

If you concentrate on one aspect that should help...
and you could use a few things that remind you of being girly...
a keychain with a symbol for example...
something nice that reminds you of your own being girly...
maybe even a photo of your painted nails...

if you try to relax instead of being afraid, that should help, too, feeling more of yourself.

if you read through what you have written about being genderfluid that is something cis people cannot write...
"Wowza i enjoy being non-binary"... you can read it through again, as often as you like...
so its proof and will stay with you...


hugs

Okay so lately I've been having thoughts of I'm not  a girl and I try to fight against them with thoughts of I am a girl does this mean I'm not trans?

No
It means you have some doubts which can happen from time to time.

Look at what you have written:

Quote from: BBGurl24 on July 10, 2015, 12:39:36 PM
Wowza i enjoy being non-binary
It's comfy
It Feels Right
I don't ever want it to leave me
I can pick a preferred pronoun at a preferred time.
I mostly go with her or they
I enjoy life as a non-binary
I feel like i was always non-binary just leaning towards female.
I also feel like im bigender and genderfluid and i believe that the genders change from time to time.

If you were not trans you would not think about this... or write it...

Cis people do not write this...

hugs

BB, I am back from my time away. There are some things I can tell you for sure. One is that you are not CIS. The next is that I am not exactly sure what you are because you haven't decided that for yourself yet. That is not something to worry about right now because you said you have only been feeling this way for about 3 months. When these feelings first come over us we haven't had them long enough to fully understand them and know what they mean to us. We also have to learn about thing like fluid or female identity to understand which label fits the best. Coming to this board was a bit of a shock to me because I alway considered myself to be Asexual but here I discovered I was Pansexual. Pansexual is a name we didn't have 33 yeas ago so after all this time I am putting a new label on myself. You are exploring this much younger than me so keep asking questions and when you find the right label for yourself, you will know it. The girl feelings you have will alway be with you and you only need to find the life that will make them most happy.

Okay so I've been reading and I just have never ever walked girlish that I know of this makes me mad I've always tried to stand back on my hip trying to copy girls but I just am afraid I'm not trans

Quote from: BBGurl24 on July 24, 2015, 12:42:50 AM
Okay so I've been reading and I just have never ever walked girlish that I know of this makes me mad I've always tried to stand back on my hip trying to copy girls but I just am afraid I'm not trans

Look what you have written:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,191331.msg1713037.html#msg1713037

This is proof that you are trans... cis people do not write this... just remember... it may be sometimes more and sometimes less but it will stay 

If you want to walk like a woman, you might look at how men usually walk: they kind of put their shoulders forwards and just move their feet forwards.

Women tend to put each foot more in front of each other, almost like walking a line... don't overdo it...
and walk a bit more with their hips...

its like makeup... don't overdo it or its too much 

hugs

Quote from: BBGurl24 on July 24, 2015, 12:42:50 AM
Okay so I've been reading and I just have never ever walked girlish that I know of this makes me mad I've always tried to stand back on my hip trying to copy girls but I just am afraid I'm not trans

Trans is in your mind and not your appearance. I have seen CiS women who walk like men and they do it because they are physically more active and a male like walk is more efficient. The girlish walk is used by less active women who tend to be in man hunting mode. My walk isn't very girlish because my hip are small when compared to my shoulders and if I attempt that walk, any movement I generate would be covered my my clothes. I do walk heel to toe like I am trying place each step on a line and that takes the male blocky look out of my walk. It take practice but you can do it most anytime you are walking somewhere. In this case, it's not so much about looking female as it is not looking male.

The truth is I don't want to be cis at all

From the first day I started working with you I knew you were not CIS. That day what you felt, I felt many year ago and it's not something that ever happens to a CIS person. I know it happens in Transexuals. I suspect it also happens in the other personalities that you can select but so far I don't know that. I believe you because you haven't attempted to lie to me and I believe you because I saw the pain in you the first day I worked with you. You need to believe in yourself as much as I believe in you.

2 things I hope I will be comfortable as a girl and the second thing is ever since I was like younger I got super uncomfortable when people talk badly about transsexuals. And one last thing when I talk about myself as a girl in real life not online I feel weird like uncomfortable which I hate because I want to feel good about being a girl and if I wasn't comfortable about it I would be sad

People have been insulting transexuals long before I had my surgery and will continue to do it in the future. It can be hurtful but transexuals are treated much better now than when I had my surgery. It's best to think about the good things and not worry about the bad. I have been fortunate that people have treated me pretty well and I only know of a few times when people might have treated me badly.

You feel bad about talking about yourself as a girl because you haven't told your parents or gone public with your feelings. What you are feeling is fear and in making my dream of becoming a woman, I had to face a large amount of fear. Now I look back and see all the things I was afraid of I shouldn't have feared. Almost everybody on this board has those fears. Some have faced them and were rewarded with a new life, others have yet to face them and I hope they will face them soon so they can have a new life as well.

One of the reasons I help others on this board is because I have had to go through exactly what they are going through. I know the hurt and the fear and I want to show them that it doesn't have to be that way. They can end the pain and be happy like me but they will have to face their fear so they know there is nothing to fear.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

Franklin D. Roosevelt

Remember this for your whole life. It will help take away some of the fear (I hope).

I'm afraid that I'm identifying as male when I'd rather be far more to the female side

Quote from: BBGurl24 on July 31, 2015, 01:45:56 PM
I'm afraid that I'm identifying as male when I'd rather be far more to the female side

Well how you identify is up to you... if you prefer more the female side then just go for that 


hugs

Oh wow country music is really a trigger

BB, you say you are identifying as male, I don't think you do it all the time so I have a question for you. What is it you are doing or when is it you identify as male?

Quote from: BBGurl24 on June 29, 2015, 06:35:27 PM
I do want to be a girl and I actually don't find myself attracted to men at all.

Actually one of my favourite musicians Laura Jane Grace, she was born male, and is now trans. She is attracted to females. So yeah you can basically become a gay female.

Although, many people here state to talk to a gender therapist. I don't necessarily agree with gender therapists, I feel they judge you and try to tell you who you are. However at this point, I am inclined to agree with the majority vote here. You should look into a gender therapist