As the subject suggests I just had a quick question: Do you have to have done RLE to get T through private? (I'm in the UK btw)... Some places I've seen it said 3 months RLE, some places I've said none is required.

What is everyones experiences?

Hi inmotion,
I'm not in the UK, so sorry, no info to give you.  There are several on the forum who can help, though. If you don't hear from anyone, maybe if you make the question broader outside the Testosterone tag, ie under the Transsexual tag so the ladies will notice, too.  Maybe title it UK and transitioning or something like that, you'll get more response?

I went to transhealth in London and RLE wasn't mentioned, although in the letter to my gp they did write that I was in 'male role' during the initial consultation. Going private they're more lenient towards RLE as they realise how your private life can prevent you from having it. Although if you do have RLE it still may give you more 'bonus' points and quicken the process to medically transition. I've just come out at work and going to change my name very soon, so am wondering if it will make a difference when I have my first proper appointment with the counselor. If you want surgery then RLE is required but hormones no.

I can't comment on doctors/therapists in private practice, but current NHS guidelines do not require RLE before hormones will be prescribed.

Quote from: Elis on July 26, 2015, 05:00:32 AM
I went to transhealth in London and RLE wasn't mentioned, although in the letter to my gp they did write that I was in 'male role' during the initial consultation. Going private they're more lenient towards RLE as they realise how your private life can prevent you from having it. Although if you do have RLE it still may give you more 'bonus' points and quicken the process to medically transition. I've just come out at work and going to change my name very soon, so am wondering if it will make a difference when I have my first proper appointment with the counselor. If you want surgery then RLE is required but hormones no.

Sounds like we're in a similar position! My colleagues will be told that I'm transitioning whilst I'm on holiday (in 2 weeks time) and also going to make the laborious task (so much paperwork!!) of changing my name too. I'm hoping I can get on and get hormones quickly as it'll make it way easier for me and any potential anxiety. And have you just had one appointment so far? What has the timings been like? Let me know how it all goes!

Quote from: inmotion on July 26, 2015, 06:07:20 AM
Sounds like we're in a similar position! My colleagues will be told that I'm transitioning whilst I'm on holiday (in 2 weeks time) and also going to make the laborious task (so much paperwork!!) of changing my name too. I'm hoping I can get on and get hormones quickly as it'll make it way easier for me and any potential anxiety. And have you just had one appointment so far? What has the timings been like? Let me know how it all goes!

I'm actually taking a week off in a few days time to destress and have an email sent out that I'm trans to my coworkers. And yeah, there are so many places I'll have to write too about my name change  . I still don't know who will sign my deed poll so that's stressing me out. I told my manager I need two people from work to sign it, so I guess we'll talk about it in the meeting tomorrow and then I can bring my deed poll and copies in tuesday.
I hope to get on hormones quickly too as I have social anxiety, depression and dysphoria so hope the hormones will help with those. Yeah, I had my initial consultation on the 7th July in which I waited two months and have my next appointment on the 14th Aug so there's a bit of a large gap. The counselor is a bit booked up atm so I'm a bit nervous that the dates between my appointments will be similar, although I heard from one trans guy who went to the same clinic as me that it took him a month and a half to get hormones.
Which private gic are you going to go too? Let me know how it goes with you, feel free to PM me when you can

Quote from: Elis on July 26, 2015, 06:41:46 AM
I'm actually taking a week off in a few days time to destress and have an email sent out that I'm trans to my coworkers. And yeah, there are so many places I'll have to write too about my name change  . I still don't know who will sign my deed poll so that's stressing me out. I told my manager I need two people from work to sign it, so I guess we'll talk about it in the meeting tomorrow and then I can bring my deed poll and copies in tuesday.
I hope to get on hormones quickly too as I have social anxiety, depression and dysphoria so hope the hormones will help with those. Yeah, I had my initial consultation on the 7th July in which I waited two months and have my next appointment on the 14th Aug so there's a bit of a large gap. The counselor is a bit booked up atm so I'm a bit nervous that the dates between my appointments will be similar, although I heard from one trans guy who went to the same clinic as me that it took him a month and a half to get hormones.
Which private gic are you going to go too? Let me know how it goes with you, feel free to PM me when you can

Have you been presenting as male outside of work (I've had to present female full time just because it'd mess with me mentally)? And how "female" do you present at work, do you think people will be shocked? I've been at my job almost a year and 9 months and it's a big company so a lot of people know me and have seen changes from quite girly to more recently short hair, guys clothes but still presenting as female. Don't feel like you have to answer any of this btw, it's just always interesting/reasuring to know what other people are going through.

I really don't know much about the whole deed poll process but I've started a list of all the people I need to contact and how to go about doing it which is helpful and makes it slightly less daunting/stressful - although mortgage/land registry will be a pain.

Yeah that's quite a bit of a gap, but I guess it could be worse compared to NHS waiting times. That would be really good to get hormones in a month and a half. I think getting on them would just make me feel like I'm continuously making steps and progress after the scariness of coming out at work and knowing although the next couple of months at work will be hard there's more positive outcomes ahead - if that makes sense?

I'm going to go to Gender care as I've heard good things about them and I like that they work at NHS too. I'm also very fortunate to live in London so any appointments that come available I can be straight on it and go to.

Will defo PM you and you should me to with updates and progress! I'm very glad to find someone in a similar position to me.  Also if you don't mind me asking, how old are you? I'm 24 and totally feel like I'm a bit of an oldie!

Quote from: inmotion on July 26, 2015, 07:26:01 AM
Have you been presenting as male outside of work (I've had to present female full time just because it'd mess with me mentally)? And how "female" do you present at work, do you think people will be shocked? I've been at my job almost a year and 9 months and it's a big company so a lot of people know me and have seen changes from quite girly to more recently short hair, guys clothes but still presenting as female. Don't feel like you have to answer any of this btw, it's just always interesting/reausuring to know what other people are going through.

I really don't know much about the whole deed poll process but I've started a list of all the people I need to contact and how to go about doing it which is helpful and makes it slightly less daunting/stressful - although mortgage/land registry will be a pain.

Yeah that's quite a bit of a gap, but I guess it could be worse compared to NHS waiting times. That would be really good to get hormones in a month and a half. I think getting on them would just make me feel like I'm continuously making steps and progress after the scariness of coming out at work and knowing although the next couple of months at work will be hard there's more positive outcomes ahead - if that makes sense?

I'm going to go to Gender care as I've heard good things about them and I like that they work at NHS too. I'm also very fortunate to live in London so any appointments that come available I can be straight on it and go to.

Will defo PM you and you should me to with updates and progress! I'm very glad to find someone in a similar position to me.  Also if you don't mind me asking, how old are you? I'm 24 and totally feel like I'm a bit of an oldie!

How would presenting as female mess with you mentality, if you don't mind me asking. I don't present female at work at all really. I have an undercut hairstyle and wear a men's shirt with men's shoes (I work in a cafe at a gym). I've only worked there for almost 4 months. And I don't mind answering, it's nice to hear someone going through the same thing.
This is the template I'm using which you may find useful https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B_a3Uy9fvST8RmFjbXZZSGdLLW8/view?pli=1. I still live at home so I don't need to deal with that, although I do need to write to my GP asking to write me a letter saying my change to male is permanent, in order to change the gender on my passport. I don't she'd do it as I'm not on hormones yet, but it's worth a shot.
Yeah that makes sense. I feel kinda down atm bcos I feel like I'm making no progress while waiting for my appointment, but I guess I'll feel differently when I'm out at work and had my name changed.
I heard Gendercare has a longer waiting list, but I've also heard lots of good things from them, so good luck . When are you going to make the appointment?
I'm 21 and feeling old too

Quote from: Elis on July 26, 2015, 10:43:03 AM
How would presenting as female mess with you mentality, if you don't mind me asking. I don't present female at work at all really. I have an undercut hairstyle and wear a men's shirt with men's shoes (I work in a cafe at a gym). I've only worked there for almost 4 months. And I don't mind answering, it's nice to hear someone going through the same thing.
This is the template I'm using which you may find useful https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B_a3Uy9fvST8RmFjbXZZSGdLLW8/view?pli=1. I still live at home so I don't need to deal with that, although I do need to write to my GP asking to write me a letter saying my change to male is permanent, in order to change the gender on my passport. I don't she'd do it as I'm not on hormones yet, but it's worth a shot.
Yeah that makes sense. I feel kinda down atm bcos I feel like I'm making no progress while waiting for my appointment, but I guess I'll feel differently when I'm out at work and had my name changed.
I heard Gendercare has a longer waiting list, but I've also heard lots of good things from them, so good luck . When are you going to make the appointment?
I'm 21 and feeling old too

I don't mind you asking at all! I mean like presenting female 5 days a week and then on the weekend presenting as male, it's too much of a double life thing that it messes with my mind, like I feel like who I am on the weekend and then have to be someone I'm not for the majority of the week, it makes it a lot harder to disconnect from having to present female, if that makes any sense? That's cool though, I mean I just have short hair, wear dudes t-shirts mainly and then just girls skinny jeans usually, although I have a client facing job so when going to more formal meetings I have to be a bit more girly (just because I don't want to raise suspicions and cause rumours etc).

Thank you for the template! Have you sorted out any shared care agreement with your GP? I'll want my GP to do the same thing but I think I can hold off until I get hormones (providing it doesn't take forever) and I know it's not ideal but I realised that my provisional licence doesn't actually directly say "F" or "female" on it, just some sort of number representation at the bottom.. so if all you care about is using it for ID, might be worth just getting your name changed on it which I believe is relatively straight forward.


I think you'll definitely feel differently after coming out at work, it was a great feeling of progress for me. But I'm definitely feeling like I don't want to feel as if I'm not making progress and just keep up the momentum.

If there's a long waiting list then probably get on with it soon, I was thinking maybe towards the end of my first week back at work as a nice first step after it.

Quote from: inmotion on July 26, 2015, 11:22:34 AM
I don't mind you asking at all! I mean like presenting female 5 days a week and then on the weekend presenting as male, it's too much of a double life thing that it messes with my mind, like I feel like who I am on the weekend and then have to be someone I'm not for the majority of the week, it makes it a lot harder to disconnect from having to present female, if that makes any sense? That's cool though, I mean I just have short hair, wear dudes t-shirts mainly and then just girls skinny jeans usually, although I have a client facing job so when going to more formal meetings I have to be a bit more girly (just because I don't want to raise suspicions and cause rumours etc).

Thank you for the template! Have you sorted out any shared care agreement with your GP? I'll want my GP to do the same thing but I think I can hold off until I get hormones (providing it doesn't take forever) and I know it's not ideal but I realised that my provisional licence doesn't actually directly say "F" or "female" on it, just some sort of number representation at the bottom.. so if all you care about is using it for ID, might be worth just getting your name changed on it which I believe is relatively straight forward.


I think you'll definitely feel differently after coming out at work, it was a great feeling of progress for me. But I'm definitely feeling like I don't want to feel as if I'm not making progress and just keep up the momentum.

If there's a long waiting list then probably get on with it soon, I was thinking maybe towards the end of my first week back at work as a nice first step after it.

That makes sense. What job do you have?

I also bought some cheap parchment paper on Amazon to make the deed poll look more official. Yeah, I gave her the letter the guy from the clinic typed up about my initial consultation and also sent my own letter saying that I'd like to receive my medication through that surgery using the NHS.
I wouldn't bother with changing my passport just yet if it wasn't for work needing a copy for ID. And I'd like to change my provisional licence, but on the gov website it only mentions changing your driving licence, not your provisional licence 

So why did you join the forum?

Quote from: Elis on July 26, 2015, 01:54:59 PM
That makes sense. What job do you have?

I also bought some cheap parchment paper on Amazon to make the deed poll look more official. Yeah, I gave her the letter the guy from the clinic typed up about my initial consultation and also sent my own letter saying that I'd like to receive my medication through that surgery using the NHS.
I wouldn't bother with changing my passport just yet if it wasn't for work needing a copy for ID. And I'd like to change my provisional licence, but on the gov website it only mentions changing your driving licence, not your provisional licence 

So why did you join the forum?

I work in a kind of digital agency. That's awesome though, I'm still waiting for my GP to get back to me on the shared care situation - did yours not say anything about funding etc? Have you been put on the NHS pathway yet? I would imagine that we should be able to change the name on a provisional licence, I'll try and dig out the letter I got with mine and see if it says anything on it. I'll do a bit of a google now too and post any links if I find any.

I was on one forum but I just felt like I wanted to be on another that was a bit more lively and this seemed like a good one! I guess it's always nice to feel like there's support and finding people like you with similar stories and similar points in their journeys. How about you?

Quote from: Elis on July 26, 2015, 01:54:59 PM

I wouldn't bother with changing my passport just yet if it wasn't for work needing a copy for ID. And I'd like to change my provisional licence, but on the gov website it only mentions changing your driving licence, not your provisional licence 

So I dug out the things that came with my provisional licence, in the guide it says the following:

"If your name has changed you will need to fill in forms D1 or D2, see note under section 'Your driving licence'. You will also need to send proof of your new name".

The note they reference: " 'Application for driving licence' (D1) is available to order as a pack from www.gov.uk/dvlaforms "

This might be helpful too: http://www.nidirect.gov.uk/keeping-your-driving-licence-up-to-date

The UK agencies such as DVLA use the Passport Office's identity database. The simplest way to get things changed is to get a letter from your GP, shrink or GIC saying that

This confirms that my patient, formerly (Old Name) is undergoing gender reassignment from Male to Female (or Female to Male) and as part of this process  has changed their (or her(his)) name by Statutory Declaration/Deed Poll  to (New Name).

This change of sex is permanent and your assistance in making the relevant changes to your records and in preserving full confidentiality would be appreciated. 

Signed: _______________________________ (General Practitioner / Psychiatrist) 

Dated:

The bit saying " ... change of sex is permanent ... " MUST be present.

Send this together with the relevant forms to the Passport Agency and they will issue a new passport in your new name and gender. It is advisable to use the online HMRC form as well and get all your tax records done at the same time. It takes about 15 minutes.

Then you can apply online for a provisional licence and it will cost £34 and have the same information on it as the passport. The application can be online and it takes about 5 days for the new licence to pop through your door.

Please be aware that although your gender markers will match your presentation after all this, you are still legally your birth gender until you obtain a GRC. On a practical basis that will not matter much unless you are arrested and jailed as you would be jailed according to your legal gender. Otherwise it makes little odds.

Quote from: vcjhyt on July 27, 2015, 02:00:32 PM
The UK agencies such as DVLA use the Passport Office's identity database. The simplest way to get things changed is to get a letter from your GP, shrink or GIC saying that

This confirms that my patient, formerly (Old Name) is undergoing gender reassignment from Male to Female (or Female to Male) and as part of this process  has changed their (or her(his)) name by Statutory Declaration/Deed Poll  to (New Name).

This change of sex is permanent and your assistance in making the relevant changes to your records and in preserving full confidentiality would be appreciated. 

Signed: _______________________________ (General Practitioner / Psychiatrist) 

Dated:

The bit saying " ... change of sex is permanent ... " MUST be present.

Send this together with the relevant forms to the Passport Agency and they will issue a new passport in your new name and gender. It is advisable to use the online HMRC form as well and get all your tax records done at the same time. It takes about 15 minutes.

Then you can apply online for a provisional licence and it will cost £34 and have the same information on it as the passport. The application can be online and it takes about 5 days for the new licence to pop through your door.

Please be aware that although your gender markers will match your presentation after all this, you are still legally your birth gender until you obtain a GRC. On a practical basis that will not matter much unless you are arrested and jailed as you would be jailed according to your legal gender. Otherwise it makes little odds.

Dude this is really awesome thank you! Apologies if I'm being super thick but I was wondering what this form is and also how to change your tax records. "It is advisable to use the online HMRC form as well and get all your tax records done at the same time. It takes about 15 minutes."

Oh and with the provisional, is re applying for one basically just getting a new one but they know your old one is still valid etc? It took ages to get mine (just to use for ID!) as I have a medical condition so they had to get in contact with all my doctors etc, so I'm hoping that they should just know that I'm fine to have one and that it'll be quick but I really don't know the system well enough. I have a feeling none of what I wrote just made sense!

Anyways thanks again this was super helpful!

Here you are. Start here

https://online.hmrc.gov.uk/shortforms/form/PAYENICoC

The change of name details is about 2/3 of the way down and there is a box for "Reason for change". I just put "Undergoing medical gender transition" as my reason

Quote from: inmotion on July 27, 2015, 02:09:41 PM
Dude

I think not 

Quote from: inmotion on July 27, 2015, 02:09:41 PMOh and with the provisional, is re applying for one basically just getting a new one but they know your old one is still valid etc? It took ages to get mine (just to use for ID!)

I figured it was best to get the whole thing over with as quickly as possible. I was given advice that the passport database is the crucial one. If you attempt to renew online you will see that you must have a valid passport. Guess why....

I think I used a paper form I got from the Post Office but I still filled in my passport details and the whole thing was simple.

Quote from: vcjhyt on July 27, 2015, 02:25:23 PM
I think not 


I figured it was best to get the whole thing over with as quickly as possible. I was given advice that the passport database is the crucial one. If you attempt to renew online you will see that you must have a valid passport. Guess why....

I think I used a paper form I got from the Post Office but I still filled in my passport details and the whole thing was simple.

Hahaha I use dude for everyone but apologies! Alright that sounds good and makes sense!

Quote from: inmotion on July 27, 2015, 02:34:43 PM
Hahaha I use dude for everyone but apologies!

Just a last thought. You need a Deed Poll or a Statutory Declaration to do this. I went to my local Magistrates Court and just asked for a Statutory Declaration and it cost £25 and was done there and then. I had to swear it out in front of the Judge who signed it but it was quick and official.

That name change document will help you greatly in your treatment at the GICs or with a private specialist such as Curtis or Lorimar. It establishes a start date for RLE and that can help when it is time for surgery because they want a two year RLE. (for MTF - maybe it varies for FTM)

I did my name change three years ago, saw the GIC two years ago and get my GRS next week. Having all the paperwork sorted out saved me a lot of time and appointments further down the road.

Good luck with it all

Quote from: vcjhyt on July 27, 2015, 02:00:32 PM
The UK agencies such as DVLA use the Passport Office's identity database. The simplest way to get things changed is to get a letter from your GP, shrink or GIC saying that

This confirms that my patient, formerly (Old Name) is undergoing gender reassignment from Male to Female (or Female to Male) and as part of hthis process  has changed their (or her(his)) name by Statutory Declaration/Deed Poll  to (New Name).

This change of sex is permanent and your assistance in making the relevant changes to your records and in preserving full confidentiality would be appreciated. 

Signed: _______________________________ (General Practitioner / Psychiatrist) 

Dated:

The bit saying " ... change of sex is permanent ... " MUST be present.

Send this together with the relevant forms to the Passport Agency and they will issue a new passport in your new name and gender. It is advisable to use the online HMRC form as well and get all your tax records done at the same time. It takes about 15 minutes.

Then you can apply online for a provisional licence and it will cost £34 and have the same information on it as the passport. The application can be online and it takes about 5 days for the new licence to pop through your door.

Please be aware that although your gender markers will match your presentation after all this, you are still legally your birth gender until you obtain a GRC. On a practical basis that will not matter much unless you are arrested and jailed as you would be jailed according to your legal gender. Otherwise it makes little odds.

Thank you, this was super helpful

Happy to help

Just to sum up, you need

- a deed poll or statutory declaration
- the medical declaration (above)
- the passport paperwork and photographs

One last tip. For the passport the post office do a pre-check service for £8 or so to ensure that your application is free from mistakes.  I used this as I could nske corrections there and then.  My trans status and extra documents were not a problem.

Good luck with everything