Hi everyone,

I'm having a hard time deciding what to do about seeing a therapist and would appreciate any input from people.

Here's my dilemma, I know I need to see a gender therapist and even have the number of a therapist in my area who has experience with transgender patients. But realistically, I can't start to transition for at least a year. I can't transition in the job I have, I work in a field where I have at least a hundred clients. Coming out to my clients would be extremely awkward and I would lose a large number of them. Meaning a major pay cut. The number of comments was bad enough when I just cut my hair (although all those comments were positive, just repetitive).

I'm in grad school right now to change careers but I have at least two semesters left. And my living situation, well I would feel better about transitioning when I wasn't living with people who could kick me out and leave me homeless.
On top of that, therapy is really expensive and I'm broke right now. (Grad school is expensive!)

So the main question is, do I start therapy now when I can't really do anything or later when transition is an option?

I'm not at a crisis point, I've taken subtle steps in transition (changed my dress, etc.) and feel better than I did, but still feel very confused and would like to talk to someone. I just don't know if I should spend the money on therapy now and then again later, or just wait.

Again, any advice is welcome.

Thanks,
Kylen

kylen, You sort of answered your own question. You said you are feeling confused and would like to talk with someone...
Therapy sure can't hurt. A lot of therapists bill on a sliding scale based on your financial situation.My own situation is similar in that I'm not in a position to make any changes but seeing a therapist has helped me tremendously with being able to cope with all the "stuff" rattling around in my brain constantly. Good luck what ever choices you make.

It's totally up to you. You could easily start therapy now and deal with what steps you can when you can or you can wait provided your doing alright enough to be able to hold off on things. Transitions have a way of needing to happen often when we don't have the money to move forward. Hugs
Mariah

Are there any resources in grad school or uni you could use ? Like therapists ? Are there lgbt groups there, with other transgender people, or support groups ?


hugs

It's really up to you.  Maybe you can set a calendar reminder for 8 months from now to schedule some therapy time and then try to forget about it or suppress it until then, lol.

Just know that when you start talking about this, it tends to take on a sense of urgency.  If you can handle it, I'd recommend therapy, but don't be surprised if once it's out of the box you just can't keep it stuffed down completely for another year.

I agree with Kristina. My "dam breaking" moment was coming out to my spouse... from then everything is moving so super quickly, most of the time I'm going along for the ride.

I will say though that once you start, omg do things feel better.... hence my avatar.

Generally speaking, there are two reasons to see a Gender (or any) therapist. Reason #1, to help you work through doubts, questions, issues, shed a lifetime of baggage, shame, guilt, etc.. Or, Reason #2, you got your mind made up and want the coveted CYA letter to start HRT.

If your purpose is for the permission slip, save your money and wait till it's time.

If your purpose is to help yourself, then last week you should have went

You are going back and forth between your fears of what can happen to what is. People do not always loose clients when they transition. Quite often things stay as they are. Your emotional stability is the key to moving on. Money is an enabler so solve the problems ands and scale to the moment.

Are these face-to-face clients, or over the phone?  B/c if it's over the phone, then your voice is only going to change as much as you make it...

hi Kylen.  School should have some resources you can utilize; check with your counselor.  There are some therapists who use a sliding fee schedule based on income.  Will insurance cover therapy sessions as a "generalized" session?  I know many work places have a program set up that is totally confidential.  At least this way you can get the ball rolling, and when its time, you'll be that much readier.