Its been a really rough few days. Yesterday, we went on a group trip to the zoo and a waterpark, and I've got my binder on and my son goes to me like, "You have big boobs!" And I was like, "No I don't" and he insisted, then hes like, "Show me your belly" and I asked why and he was like, "Cause then I can show you your big boobs!" And I was like DUDE NO. He's only little, so he doesn't know any better, but it ruined my entire day. And there was a lady talking to me on the bus on the way home with the group, this lady was talking to me and thought my boyfriend was the kids' dad and thought I was the mom and it was like GODDAMNIT. And then today, I had to call for a lawyer (whole other story), and the lady I spoke to on the phone was like, "Okay and whats your name?" I told her the name I go by and she was like, "..................And you're calling in for him?" And I was like, "No, I am him". Like really   =_=  And then shes like, " .....Okay. So when you come in, you need to bring your papers and ID." And I just wanted to strangle her through the phone.

I'm 8 months on hrt, and I still sound like a girl. I dont pass, ever. My boyfriend's mother came to visit and told him that she doesn't understand my transgenderness at all because I have a "feminine air" about me.

I recently discovered that birth certificates from BC (where I was born), you dont have to have SRS to change your gender marker, you just need a letter from a doctor. Which is fantastic, but not great enough news to pull me out of this frustration and unhappiness.

I could deal with the dysphoria before, but now Im just like, physically aching for top surgery. For just, something to make me more male. I'm seriously distressing.

I set up an appointment with my family doctor for August 7th, and I'm going to get her to sign the form to change my gender marker on my birth certificate and make a referral for top surgery. Even though I'm 90% certain that a referral from a family doctor won't be good enough to actually get in but I need to do something.

8 months and still sound like a girl? is your doctor checking your T levels? that's just weird imo. hopefully you can get top surgery and lessen your dysphoria a bit. also it's good that BC has it so you don't need surgery to change your birth certificate so hopefully that happens and you can feel a bit better. i know my only piece of ID was my health card so when i got that changed i felt so much better. even after my name change, it didn't feel "real" until i got my ID and whatever changed so i could see how getting your birth certficiate can be a great feeling. my advice though is i wouldn't change anything until i got my name (if you haven't) because it would be  hassle (and more money because your birth certificate does cost money to change here in Ontario) to continuously change things. i figured i'd change it all at once but that's just me.

Sorry you are going through a rough patch, I know how absolutely frustrating that can be.  I have been on T for nearly five years and am still sometimes misgendered on the phone.  I know my body, my mannerisms, and my vocal qualities may sometimes be deemed as feminine...and I am not sure it will ever change.  People will do their judging and we will carry on being the people we are, waiting patiently for change to occur.  Patience is a tough road to travel, but a necessary one.  Acceptance of yourself at every stage of life is helpful so do something kind for yourself today that helps you feel better about your body...it is the only one you have.  I wish you luck with the top surgery, it truly is life changing.