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given the momentun for transgender change will steath be relelvent in future

Started by stephaniec, July 29, 2015, 03:54:50 PM

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stephaniec

With the advent of Cait, which is turning out to be quite positive and monumental do you think stealth with be at all relevant in the decade to come. It will always be an option for those to choose, but will it carry the necessity that some put on it.
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Mariah

Full stealth isn't possible now. To many people know me. Those that know my history even ask my opinion and questions about news or events that surround transgender people going on right now. Hugs
Mariah
If you have any questions, please feel free to ask me.
[email]mariahsusans.orgstaff@yahoo.com[/email]
I am also spouse of a transgender person.
Retired News Administrator
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Zoetrope

I believe stealth is already a choice, and not a necessity.

I say this because yes, the momentum for trans acceptance is genuinely building. I often have days off makeup where I look like a curvy Conchita Wurst. Nobody gives a damn anymore.

Sure, I will be mis-gendered in that state, but that is the only complication. The only thing I need to concern myself with is how *I* feel - because really, in 2015 I can do or be whatever I want.

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Evolving Beauty

Stephanie,

Honestly, if society was accepting and if majority of straight men wouldn't have had the prejudice and discriminate transsexuals, I'd never had to stealth.
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Zoetrope

Quote from: Evolving Beauty on July 29, 2015, 04:13:33 PM
Stephanie,

Honestly, if society was accepting and if majority of straight men wouldn't have had the prejudice and discriminate transsexuals, I'd never had to stealth.

I am getting by just fine. Non-op and in a straight relationship with an incredible man, too ...
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Mariah

 :police:
Okay folks I'm going to take this chance now to remind everyone to keep it civil. Thanks
Mariah
If you have any questions, please feel free to ask me.
[email]mariahsusans.orgstaff@yahoo.com[/email]
I am also spouse of a transgender person.
Retired News Administrator
Retired (S) Global Moderator
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Dena

Stealth is always going to be important to some and strangely to me as well. I am in the process of dividing my life into two parts. One part I will continue to live but the other part like Batman or Superman I will put on the costume of stealth and spend time where my past isn't known and I am just CIS Dena. Should my past be discovered sometime in the future in that role, it will not be important because by then the stealth will have served it's purpose. The reason I need to do this is I never have had a life where transsexualism wasn't a part of my life. I am comfortable with that but I also think some of my personal skills in dealing with other people are lacking because of it. Yes, I will be very safe when I do this and if a personal relationship should develop, the feelings of the other person will take priority over stealth.

Somebody who is truly stealth may say what I am doing isn't stealth and they may very well be right, but in either case, people for personal reasons sometimes have a need for stealth in what ever form it takes.
Rebirth Date 1982 - PMs are welcome - Use [email]dena@susans.org[/email] or Discord if your unable to PM - Skype is available - My Transition
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rachel89

I don't think complete stealth really exists, so the best you can hope for is to be very passable and hope most people in your life don't care to look into your past. i think we are a long ways from being to the point where the fact of someone being trans* is a just another fact about someone with no bearing on access to employment, housing, medical care, safety, and ones relationships with others.


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Zoetrope

Quote from: rachel89 on July 29, 2015, 04:43:41 PM
I don't think complete stealth really exists, so the best you can hope for is to be very passable and hope most people in your life don't care to look into your past.

I agree in the sense that 'passing' is mostly out of our hands.

That's because 'passing' is subjective. What passes for one observing person may not for another.

So I think it benefits us to step back from that a bit, and get on with daily life.
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kittenpower

I think it is human nature to want to blend in, and not be "different", therefore, there will always be trans people who will choose to be stealth if they are able to.
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kittenpower

Quote from: rachel89 on July 29, 2015, 04:43:41 PM
I don't think complete stealth really exists, so the best you can hope for is to be very passable and hope most people in your life don't care to look into your past. i think we are a long ways from being to the point where the fact of someone being trans* is a just another fact about someone with no bearing on access to employment, housing, medical care, safety, and ones relationships with others.
I disagree, stealth is totally achievable for younger trans people, and even for some older trans people (albeit a very small percentage).
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EmmaMcAllister

Will stealth be the norm, or the ideal as it was in the past? No, probably not. As trans awareness and acceptance goes up, fewer people will see the need to discard their existing life. Combined with the gender wars (ie. the whole women-born-women thing), I think a greater number of people will be comfortable with a trans identity.

Will stealth disappear completely? No, probably not. There will always be people who want to cleanly separate their pre and post transition lives.
Started HRT in October, 2014. Orchiectomy in August, 2015. Full-time in July, 2016!

If you need an understanding ear, feel free to PM me.
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AnonyMs

I think its going to be less possible in the future. Computers are causing us to lose privacy, and that's only going to continue. That's both though social media, which we can control (so far), and government records, which we can't.

Social media is working towards identifying people even when they don't opt-in, and that's really bad. Fortunately society is becoming more accepting, but also still not actually accepting, and it may also go the other way in the future. I don't see the trend to losing privacy reversing though.
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Jasper93

Quote from: stephaniec on July 29, 2015, 03:54:50 PM
With the advent of Cait, which is turning out to be quite positive and monumental do you think stealth with be at all relevant in the decade to come. It will always be an option for those to choose, but will it carry the necessity that some put on it.
Well, I'm not in stealth, and it doesn't cause any issues here in my progressive college town. I'm pretty open, and I do what every other girl here does. I'd imagine it will be relatively commonplace in the future.
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stephaniec

Quote from: Jasper93 on July 29, 2015, 06:11:39 PM
Well, I'm not in stealth, and it doesn't cause any issues here in my progressive college town. I'm pretty open, and I do what every other girl here does. I'd imagine it will be relatively commonplace in the future.
that's what's nice about college towns . I live in one and it's very open and peaceful . I was walking down the main street yesterday and a bunch of very dressed up coeds were walking toward me so I just held my breath and didn't flinch and not a snicker or an evil look came my way.
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janetcgtv

I think with the greater acceptance from society and slowly growing each day, I think that the need for stealth will disappear. The only difference will be from the few remaining violent people left who are slowly dying out.
Self stealth I don't know one way or another.
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suzifrommd

I live in a very supportive area. No one ever gives me a hard time about being trans and nearly everyone knows, due to the fact that I'm apparently not perfectly passable, I transitioned on the job, and I'm out to everyone at my church.

Despite all that, I yearn for stealth. I would love just to have the life of an ordinary cisgender female, to experience femaleness without the umbrella of my past casting a shadow over it.

Don't let the Caitlyn Jenner hype fool you. Openmindedness still ends at the bedroom door.
Have you read my short story The Eve of Triumph?
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iKate

Quote from: kittenpower on July 29, 2015, 04:53:46 PM
I think it is human nature to want to blend in, and not be "different", therefore, there will always be trans people who will choose to be stealth if they are able to.
110000% this.

I'm not going to be a flag waver. I won't be deep stealth, but to some degree I already blend and will do so as much as I can. Like Blendtec. :) VFS is helping with this to a huge degree already and planned FFS and body contouring will help even more. Sure it costs money but it's about my happiness.

I just don't want being trans to dominate every conversation I have with everyone. It makes me feel like a science experiment or an animal in a zoo.

I'll tell committed sexual partners for sure, but the average Jane and Joe? No way Jose. Allies, maybe. Fellow trans women, more than likely. I believe that showing trans women (and men) it's OK to be who you are is important. I especially don't want people to commit suicide. So I will make an exception for them.
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Serenation

I live in a place where no one would be game to be openly gay let a lone trans. My local club had the second highest assaults in the entire state which is insane numbers considering the tiny size of the town. The day I don't pass is the day I get seriously hurt repeatedly.

I'm glad it's not like this in other places of the world.

If I had the choice to be openly trans would i? I'm not even sure how you be openly trans.
I will touch a 100 flowers and not pick one.
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CrysC

I think the question is more if passing will be relelvent rather than stealth.  Social networking, background checks, transitioning later all make it brutal to try to achieve stealth where those that know you don't know you are trans.

Passing is another matter though.  I want to be able to travel to barbaric lands such as Texas and not be worried.  I wouldn't worry going to many cities in the US but, without passing it's hard to consider the country today.  So what Cait is doing will, I think, make that stink less.  Only time will tell on how much a difference it will make.
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