I lurked here years ago and then kind of forgot about it honestly. I thought of this place in my darkest moments this week. This week has been the worst dysphoria week I've ever had and you all have been so nice and welcoming. It only took a few replies for me to pick up the phone and find a therapist, who I will go see next week. As I've read more and more here it's comforting to see others having similar feelings as I do. I was in a hard place mentally last night and had to talk to someone, so I actually came out to my best friend (since 4 years old) as trans, no one knows I'd ever considered myself trans, not even my unaccepting wife or mother. He was super cool and very supportive. He was shocked at first but could tell I was having a vulnerable moment and agreed a therapist would be a good idea.
Today I got out of the shower and went through a whole self maintenance routine, moisturizer, rogaine, cuticle check, remove ear hair, nose hair, trim my eyebrows (like a man sadly), I dressed in my usual casual Friday corporate outfit (Polo shirt and pleaded khaki slacks, ew) and went to work. Coming out to my best friend lifted an enormous weight off my shoulders and I even added a barely noticing extra shimmy to my hips when I walked today (something I had to teach myself not to do as a child). I'm in a good place for now and it all started here.
