Hello, everyone! I accepted that I was transgender more than a year ago. I feel like I've got most things understood but there's still a little more I have to learn. I came here because I needed another resource to help me. I feel like the other online communities I'm a part of have a narrow-ish view on things. Here's hoping I can find the answers I need here.

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Welcome to Susan's.

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hello and welcome 

Just take part and ask questions 


hugs

Hi and welcome to Susan's. I look forward to seeing you around the forums. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah

Warm welcome to Susan's FemPossible

Yeah we have a very broad group that covers many of the Gender spectrum, so thanks for the warm comments 

You have certainly come to the right place and I look forward to seeing you about the forums...

L Katy 

Hi

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

Ask away, sweetie :-)   Welcome to what I call family and just know that this site and everyone that is a part of it is awesome! 

Hi there and welcome to Susan's.

Hey.

So... you can continue here if you want...

just tell us about it...

many people are willing to help...


hugs

Hi Laura. I'll make sure to choose my words more carefully this time.

I know that we're all supposed to find our own way and not compare ourselves to other trans people. However, I've noticed that I don't have anything in common with any other trans woman. For example, there is a lot of talk about how being femme is "gender conforming" and "stereotypical". However, there is a lot of focus on being sexy. I thought that with the notion that women are being so heavily sexualized in the media (and society), that putting so much focus on how sexy you are would also be in those categories. But they're not and this is what confuses me. I can't be femme, but I can totally be this embodiment of sexiness? I just don't get it. This leaves me thinking that maybe I represent the wrong idea of a woman (wanting to wear dresses, cook, clean, raise kids etc.) and thus I'd be transitioning for the wrong reasons.

I have been reviewing your posts and I think I understand some of what your are trying to answer. There is no pattern you should fit in order to transition. To use me as an example. I had my surgery 33 years ago and I am a virgin both before and after. My feminine dress is business and not overly sexy and lately my dress is pretty much casual. Lucky for me I had a very wise doctor. I wasn't overly uncomfortable with my body but I was uncomfortable in the life I was living and how others related to me. The combination of the transition and surgery ended the discomfort and I am happy with the life I live.

To determine if the transition is right for you, ignore what everybody else says. Look inside you and ask yourself if you want to live your life as a man or a woman. The answer to that question will determine if you should transition.

You have been viewing other sites that may not be the best source of information. I have been through the process and I have seen others transition and the reason I remain with this site is because my views are accepted here and I can help others see that we are common in our feelings even though we may live greatly different life styles. I think you belong here and now I have posted to this thread, I will continue to monitor and answer questions you may have about yourself and your feelings. You will not be criticized for what you feel because we all feel ->-bleeped-<- in our own way. Should anybody criticize you for your feelings, the moderator staff will defend you.

Quote from: FemPossible on November 26, 2015, 08:40:45 PM
Hi Laura. I'll make sure to choose my words more carefully this time.

I know that we're all supposed to find our own way and not compare ourselves to other trans people. However, I've noticed that I don't have anything in common with any other trans woman. For example, there is a lot of talk about how being femme is "gender conforming" and "stereotypical". However, there is a lot of focus on being sexy. I thought that with the notion that women are being so heavily sexualized in the media (and society), that putting so much focus on how sexy you are would also be in those categories. But they're not and this is what confuses me. I can't be femme, but I can totally be this embodiment of sexiness? I just don't get it. This leaves me thinking that maybe I represent the wrong idea of a woman (wanting to wear dresses, cook, clean, raise kids etc.) and thus I'd be transitioning for the wrong reasons.

You might have a look here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,188309.msg1674885.html#msg1674885

Well imo many transgender people are likely to kind of read others expectations... and some try to adapt to it, until they find out its not them...
so you might simply think about how things make you feel... if they give you a feeling of joy... regardless of expectations...

and you might see a good gender therapist...
the gender therapist to help you along, maybe with easy reversible steps first, to help you find out how they make you feel...
so that you have someone to guide you and help you along, and no rash but appropriate steps are made.... appropriate also in your favour, so that it moves along...
you might ask at plannedparenthood of a lgbt place for counseling...
or look here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,162888.msg1400316.html#msg1400316


hugs

Hi guys. After the thanksgiving weekend I checked myself into a mental health institution for a few days. I just needed time away from my family and the interent. I'm still dealing with gender issues, but they've subsided a bit. I still can't get used to identifying as something without any criteria. I can't find any examples of people doing that with anything else in life.

We are all different but there are similarities and if you have been through it, you can spot it pretty quickly in others. I think you will find what you are looking for if you go to youtube and request "the transition channel". This will give you what the doctors will look at when they diagnose you. You may or may not fit the video but that is for you to decide.

Hello and welcome!  i understand completely what you mean on the whole sexualized heavily in the media, and I also get the "living up to society's expectations" when transitioning. my opinion on the matter is simply this: be who you are, not what other people say you are or should be. You are a beautiful human being, and you're amazing regardless of what gender you are. Do what makes you feel comfortable Anyways, welcome! I'm Liam, hope to see you around and maybe be friends! <3