Hello everyone!

My name is Tom. I am a film student located overseas. The past few months my awareness towards the Transgender community has really increased and I guess it is inevitable ever since Caitlyn Jenner entered our world The thing is; I don't feel comfortable enough to have a discussion about it - because I feel ignorant. I feel like the only thing I know about being a Transgender is that they feel "trapped inside a wo/man body". Correct me if I am wrong, but it seems to me like something somebody said once to explain a straight person, in the most simple manner, how it feels like, and since then it became a little bit a cliché. (I am not saying not true, just cliché (

I have decided to make my next project about this topic. I would love to understand more. Hopefully, I will be able to convey a more relatable version of how it feels like. That's in order to make it an easier to discuss (in terms of being able to share and express your thoughts better).

So, I have a few questions that I'll be thrilled if you answer them:
First of all, can you put in your own words, what being a transgender is for you? is it like the famous saying that I mentioned earlier? or completely different?
Before you came out (I hope I'm using the right terminology), how was like to act all day like you are someone else? how "acute" are those feelings? I mean, when being a woman, physically (just for ex. I am talking about man as well) what bothered you on your daily routine? were there things that you didn't like to do like the other girls? things that you would rather doing (that usually boys do). Or maybe the day to day life was ok, but you just didn't feel happy or satisfied with yourself? Maybe both?

The next thing I want to ask about is obviously extremely personal (even more than my first questions...(-:) and I will completely understand If you are not comfortable answering it.
Have you ever thought about committing suicide? If so, what was the trigger for you?
What made you change your mind? (not to commit suicide); was it a "monumental event"=life changing experience, or just a simple moment, simple realization... which is, in a way, as life changing as a big event.

The film I want to create needs to be a glimpse to your world. I want to try and capture, for a second - how does being a transgender feels like in a deeper level. The film is a short film. I would like to present a series of events in a transgender's life. Hopefully, our discussion will help me understand the film's point. I know that this world is huge and complex to seize in just five minutes. However, I really want to bring another perspective, or a few perspectives to the public's attention. Today we are exposed to Caitlyn's point of view which is great! But, I feel like bringing some of your own stories to the world, can really create something amazing!

Last thing. Everything that I wrote in this message was written with tons of love to community and lots of support! But if, by any chance, something that I wrote is not politically-correct and has offended someone, pls accept my apologies. I have good intentions (-:

Thanks!

Welcome to Susan's Place. You feel you are ignorant and you will most likely remain so because the only way to truly understand what it feels like is to be transgender is to be so and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

1. How we feel varies from person to person. Some people feel uncomfortable with their body or parts of their body. In my case, it was feeling uncomfortable with life. I moved around as a male but I was uncomfortable in life. As proof to this fact, that feeling went away while I was still in the cross living part of treatment before surgery. These feeling do come and go and as I was a computer programmer, working on a problem could push these feelings in to the background but when my mind was free to roam, the feeling were the strongest.

You will learn that we are not all male or female. You have things you do that are done by a woman or sometimes by both genders. We are more aware of it because we are creating a new personality but we don't throw the old one out. Instead we merge the two personalities. I am very handy with my hands and as the result, I impress others with my ability to fix things and problems they haven't been able to resolve.

2. Suicide is far to common among us and I was no exception. In my case, it happened at age 23 when I was working. Up to that point I knew treatment would be near impossible to obtain for many reasons but also because the years was 1974 and treatment for us was very new and limited. One day the pressure on me was building and I was in the bathroom and saw a razor blade on the counter. I came very close to using it but some how or another the though crossed my mind that I really hadn't tried a medical approach. A few day latter I came out and started the long road to becoming me.

3. Before I came to terms with myself, I was uncomfortable with life. Now I am just another person with a somewhat different background. Becoming a woman has made me a much better person as I am no longer fighting with my self and I can enjoy and help others.

Now here is the problem you will face. We often spend years learning about ourself. You will find it very had to stuff one one person feels into 5 minutes of film. You need much more time or you need to limit yourself to one of the many topics we deal with.

I'm pretty new to this forum. I'm 33 years old with a wife and child and another on the way. For me now, I definitely have Gender Dysphoria. I see another woman my age and watch her every move. Not because I'm a perv or want to have sex with her but because I'm completely jealous. I'm jealous of the way her skirt hem brushes her thighs or the way she naturally brushes her hair behind her ear with her hand. Or the way she effortlessly glides in heels. Then later on at night when my family has gone to bed I look down at my own body, my gut, my hairy arms and legs, the beard that grows in by 9:30 am everyday, my balding head and it makes me incredibly emotional. Sometimes angry, sometimes very sad. I've never been suicidal but I've thought about what happens after death in an obsessive manner.

One thing I can say about gender dysphoria is that the urges and the feelings and the emotions are stronger and stronger each time they appear. I think I've reached acceptance of my true self but I am filled now with guilt and shame. Guilt for marrying my wife and possibly putting her in this position, guilt that I didn't tackle this problem earlier. I first had these feelings at age 9 and by the time I was 13 I had already reached my full height of 6'2", not very ladylike. I feel shame because I realize these are feelings that men aren't supposed to have. Shame over having to possibly tell my dad about this when he is the type of guy who forbid me from painting my room red, white and blue once because red was too girly of a color. Shame over exposing my deepest, darkest secret to everyone I know. Shame because a man's inner voice shouldn't be female but mine is.

I agree with Dena, I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy, but it is my cross to bear in life and it's time to carry it wherever I'm going on this journey. Sorry for the long post, but I'm crying now and my 5 year old wants to know what's wrong and I can't tell her the truth.

Hi Tom. Welcome to Susan's. 

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I'm really glad you're trying to do this. I'll try to answer your questions best I can, though I warn you, I'm not typical.

Quote from: Tom_filmpj on August 01, 2015, 05:39:20 PM
First of all, can you put in your own words, what being a transgender is for you? is it like the famous saying that I mentioned earlier? or completely different?

No. I don't feel like a woman, and never have. For me it was more like wishing I could be a woman in the worst way, thinking that would be the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me, even though I didn't have any good reason to think this.

Quote from: Tom_filmpj on August 01, 2015, 05:39:20 PM
Before you came out (I hope I'm using the right terminology), how was like to act all day like you are someone else? how "acute" are those feelings? I mean, when being a woman, physically (just for ex. I am talking about man as well) what bothered you on your daily routine?

No not bothered at all. I figured we all have things we want but won't ever have. Some people want to be an astronaut. Some people want to be a rock star. I wanted to be a woman.

So I just lived my life as a man, even though it wasn't really the life I wanted. I had good jobs, a decent marriage, two wonderful kids, a few friends. I did the best I could to be happy.

But socially, it was hard. My gender made it so that I could only really feel comfortable as friends with women, whereas they were suspicious that a married guy was paying attention to them. My social life was very lonely.

Quote from: Tom_filmpj on August 01, 2015, 05:39:20 PM
were there things that you didn't like to do like the other girls? things that you would rather doing (that usually boys do). Or maybe the day to day life was ok, but you just didn't feel happy or satisfied with yourself? Maybe both?

I wanted to feel what it was like to be a woman and to have a women's body. I didn't especially have the desire to crossdress or wear feminine jewelry (though now that I'm living as a woman, it's fun and affirming). I did like the sort of socializing women did - sharing vulnerabilities and feelings.

Quote from: Tom_filmpj on August 01, 2015, 05:39:20 PM
The next thing I want to ask about is obviously extremely personal (even more than my first questions...(-:) and I will completely understand If you are not comfortable answering it.
Have you ever thought about committing suicide? If so, what was the trigger for you?
What made you change your mind? (not to commit suicide); was it a "monumental event"=life changing experience, or just a simple moment, simple realization... which is, in a way, as life changing as a big event.

No, never was really suicidal over my gender. It was the social issue that first got me addressing my gender.

First of all thank you! Thank you for dedicating the time to answer my questions and for sharing your deepest feelings with me.

Dena: Thank you for sharing your story with me! I understand that I will never understand what it really feels like, and that's ok! Reading your stories, it was like reading a play and waiting for the moment of catharsis - which is the moment when you managed to become you real self. I completely agree with you saying that 5 minutes are by any means way too short. No doubt about it. But, as you said, I think that I will try to capture a certain topic. Even that, might come out as pretentious, but I just want to start a discussion. From your point of you, what topic do you think would be the easiest to express via this medium to the average person?

Katelyn: you got me emotional as well! I can't imagine what you are going through... the way you describe your feelings seems so natural to me. there is one thing you said that really touched me: "Shame because a man's inner voice shouldn't be female but mine is." thank you for sharing your thoughts with me, and I wish I could somehow relieve your pain or sense of shame. I want to say don't be ashamed don't feel guilty - but I am just a stranger and I know my words have no meaning for you... and so, I just hope you will find your way to be happy (-:

Suzi: you gave such a refreshing perspective! it was fascinating to read about your experiences. you laid down the things very clearly, let's say, as clear as it gets for a non-transgender person I appreciate that.

Again, thank you for your honest, moving replies (-:
And if some of you are interested in getting a little more involved in this project I would love to hear more from you!

You really changed my way of looking transgenders. of course, I have lots more to learn about this subject... But once I'll start applying the knowledge I acquire in my film, I'll b able to do that a little better.

So you want to know what it is like being a trans woman?  Well, in many respects it is like being a man. I still have to eat, walk the dog, do food shopping, cut the grass, work, exercise,  etc etc. Leaves on the trees are still green, the sky is the same shade of blue and the sun rises each day.

The big difference is how I feel about myself. My body is nearer to how I have always felt that it should be. I feel content and when I look in the mirror each dsy I see me instead of "him". My jailer. He is gone and he will never return.

I felt like an actor. All my life I played a part because the world saw "him" instead of me. I lied to everyone I met because I never had the nerve to tell the truth, to be honest and say what was really in my heart.

Eventually the pain surpassed the fear of speaking out and I sought help. Changing my hormonal balance from male to female gave me enormous relief. At last I was at peace and for the first time in my life I slept more than a few hours per night.

Occasionally I thought about "the other escape". Twice I nearly did it and the last time sll that stopped me was being in the wrong place. If I had been at home, in private, I  would not be here today.

Quote from: Tom_filmpj on August 02, 2015, 03:51:29 PM
You really changed my way of looking transgenders. of course, I have lots more to learn about this subject... But once I'll start applying the knowledge I acquire in my film, I'll b able to do that a little better.

Just a note on usage. Transgender is an adjective, not a noun or verb. So:

OK: My way of looking at transgender people.
Not OK: My way of looking at transgenders.
Not OK: My way of looking at transgendered people.

Hello Mister Film!

Transgender is an adjective, not a noun. That's minor and an easy mistake, so don't beat yourself up over it.

Question one! For me, all my life and especially in my childhood, I would dream of being a girl. Not dream, as in sleep dreams, but dream, as in "hopes and dreams." I wanted to dress like a girl. I wanted to look like a girl. And I really, really wanted a vagina. One night at about age seven, I was sitting in the bath tub singing a song I just made up, that went, "Goodbye penis, hello vagina."

Once puberty hit, all of my sex fantasies involved me being a girl and seldom had anything to do with having sex. I remember one night at age eleven or twelve, laying in my bed and vowing to reincarnate as a girl. Cue the TERFS* calling me an autogynophile**. I wanted to wear girl clothes sooooo badly! I wanted to wear skirts, bras, panties. This was the 90s, so there weren't really girl-cut shirts yet.

Into my adulthood, I thought I was into cross-dressing simply as a kink. That's what I told myself, because I felt like being a cross-dresser was more socially acceptable than being a transsexual. Thanks to horrible media portrayals in movies like Ace Ventura, and shows like The Jerry Springer Show, I thought my feelings were wrong and made me a gross person, a freak, a pervert. The sensationalism, yanno? So I buried those feelings and disguised them as transvestic fetishism. And it took a lot of effort and courage for me to even admit that. But it's not that I fetishize being a woman. The feelings of arousal come from the sense of validation that it brings me. Like, "Yes! I'm finally me!"

I never felt like I was "in the wrong body." I've actually always found that phrase cringe-worthy. I just wanted to be a girl!

Question number two!

Despite my happy-go-lucky nature in real-life, suicide is always an option. It's like Reagan with the little red button. But this has nothing to do with being trans in itself. It has everything to do with depression, and sometimes with trans harassment. I did try once, but I don't want to get into it.

If you're going to make this film, hire as many trans and gender-nonconforming people as you can. That's the way to do us a real favor. A lot of trans folks struggle with employment, so work on something like this is good for them. And don't just hire and consult white people. Get a large group of all colors, trans women, trans men, non-binary folks, agender people, and as many as you can.

*TERF is an acronym that stands for Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminist. They're a fringe group that has little to do with actual feminism, but they've caused a lot of damage in the past 35 years. Denials of health care, employment, bathroom access? "Thank" the TERFs for that.

**Autogynophilia is a myth perpetuated by said TERFs, insinuating that trans women fetishize and appropriate women's bodies. This is a myth, and there's no such thing as autogynophilia. It should be noted that these "lovely" people also consider trans men to simply be confused lesbians.

Edit! I suppose I should mention that I now feel so much more comfortable in my own skin. Estrogen has made me feel so much more like myself, and I'm so, so happy with what it's done to my face and the rest of my body! When I look in the mirror now, I see a woman. And sometimes I'll walk past a mirror, catch a glimpse in the corner of my eye, and think, "Who's that girl? Oh sh-t, that's me!" 

I'm still me, I'm just much more of me. I was authentic as a boy in the way I presented myself, but now I'm even more authentic as a girl. Does that make sense?

For me, I've always had the lingering feeling that something was terribly wrong. That I didn't fit in to womanhood, that there was something about it that I just didn't understand. The mimicking, the pretending, telling myself to pull myself together and be normal.

Telling myself that this is how all women feel - everyone knows it's all a sham, but we have to do it, right?

Telling myself that this is how lesbians feel and that I must be a lesbian as I'm attracted to women.

Feeling depressed and scared when I'm expected to go to "pamper evenings" and have my nails done. Feeling like a massive freak because nobody else feels like this about fun girly stuff. Anger that I'm expected to be feminine.

Looking in the mirror and it looks like I'm wearing fancy dress as that can't possibly be me. Touching my face and expecting to feel stubble. Going to the gym and being unable to do half what I think I'm capable of.

Fear that this will lose me my family. Shame that I can't be the woman I'm expected to be. Feeling that I can't transition because of my kids, but I can't end it all either, also because of my kids. Trying to find ways of releasing the pressure.

Being ecstatic because a stranger calls me "sir" and then attempting not to speak to them as my voice sounds female.

Feeling that I've not tried hard enough - if I worked harder at being a woman this would all go away.

I've never tried to kill myself, and I can't now because of my family. I've self harmed in the past, and have depression and disordered eating.

I'm usually a fairly cheerful and happy person, but writing it all down like this - well it's rather depressing!

I find it incredibly stressful.

Perhaps you can get some appreciation for that if you put on a dress and go for a walk in your local community. If you can manage that you've done more than I have.

I have recently come to terms with defining myself as genderfluid ( or a version of non-binary) because of recent revelations, as well as the fact that I have very little noticeable dysphoria. But my brain-workings are strongly female leading to a strong desire to match that physically.

First of all, can you put in your own words, what being a transgender is for you? is it like the famous saying that I mentioned earlier? or completely different?

Not so much at first. For most of my life, the thoughts were all under the surface. I felt a general apathy and dissatisfaction with my life. I could get enjoyment out of small things, like games or friends, but in general I couldn't see wanting to do anything. I didn't care about my body, my career, or even living. I had no drive, and I had no idea why.

After coming out to myself, and realizing what was going on, life took a turn. It made certain things better. For one, the apathy is gone. I now have something to care about, something to drive me forward, I have a self and I need to let her out. It's allowed me to be more social, to take better care of myself, and expand my career prospects. It hasn't been cost free, mind, I'm now dealing with a lot of the conscious effects of dysphoria. I can't look at myself in a mirror, because I just see the boy there, I have to shave constantly to deal with any stray stubble, and it's killed my sex drive. The thought of... it... is enough to whet the heartiest of appetites. There's also envy. I see women in my life, and I want to be them. Their voices, their hair, their clothes and mannerisms... they have what I need, and they don't realize it. Net improvement, but until I get my body right with my mind, I'm never going to feel like a whole person.

That's how it feels for me.

Before you came out (I hope I'm using the right terminology), how was like to act all day like you are someone else? how "acute" are those feelings? I mean, when being a woman, physically (just for ex. I am talking about man as well) what bothered you on your daily routine? were there things that you didn't like to do like the other girls? things that you would rather doing (that usually boys do). Or maybe the day to day life was ok, but you just didn't feel happy or satisfied with yourself? Maybe both?

Largely, I'm still not out. When I'm around the people that know (or that wouldn't care if they did), I'm the most comfortable. I can let my guard down a bit, and act in a way that comes naturally. When I'm among the people who still think I'm a boy, I deal with a lot of inner pain. I have to lie, to watch my mannerisms, and swallow the minor cuts of being called "sir" or "Tom (No offense to you, just my birth name)" or "man". Sometimes I want to out myself, even if it isn't wise, just so that I don't have to pretend anymore. I do small things, secret things, to help myself get through. I've sworn off men's underwear, and I will sometimes wear hose under my pants. I think my girliest thoughts at the times when the world sees me at my most masculine. It helps if I can lose myself in something, a work task or a movie, but when I'm just there with my thoughts? Not fun.

As for things I don't like about being a man... everything? I don't like how men relate to each other. It's all so much masculine posturing and dominance. Everything is about appearing bigger, badder, and less feminine than the other guy. From the way you drive in the morning, to the way you walk down the hall, to how you go to the bathroom. It's an exhausting nightmare for someone that wants to be warm, soft, empathetic, to hug and hold, to wear beautiful clothing, and to craft her hair to perfection. Maybe for people who are the male gender it's easier, maybe it's exhilarating instead of soul draining, but for me it was hell. I'm over it, forever.

As for what I'd rather be doing than male stuff... take your pick. I was with my parents this weekend, who don't know, and we were purse shopping for my sister. I wanted to take off on my own, get a cute purse, but I couldn't. I want to get my nails done, to go see what a spa is about, to grow my hair out, I want to be called Tamika and daughter by my parents. I also want to play Smash Brothers and crush my friend, who has been on a streak... I want to go to the movies, I want the women in my life to take me shopping, help me pick out colors and sizes, I want to lose weight and get healthy. I want to be me.

Have you ever thought about committing suicide? If so, what was the trigger for you?
What made you change your mind? (not to commit suicide); was it a "monumental event"=life changing experience, or just a simple moment, simple realization... which is, in a way, as life changing as a big event.

Before my realization? Yes. All the time. Suicidal thoughts were my constant companion for years. I'll never know how close I was, but there were times where death was all I wanted. My life was wrong, broken in some ill-defined and invisible way, and I wanted out. It wasn't an event, it was just the daily degradation of being alienated from myself.

Now, my body is wrong, but my mind is finally right with itself. The denial part is over, and I'm too busy prepping the way for Tamika to think about killing myself. I want to live, because I want that day, when I look in the mirror and see myself as I should have been, to come. I don't know how my mind will be in the future, especially if my transition plans run into trouble, but right now suicide has never been further than my thoughts.

Good luck on your movie, dear. I hope it changes things for the better. Thinking of what my sisters and brothers have gone through due to the prejudices of the world, what I will go through on my journey, it makes me want to weep. Not stop, but weep. Maybe your movie can help that? No pressure or anything.

Love,

Tamika. 

Something slightly different to all of us. In that you've got the normal male to female and female to male. Then there are those in between, non-binaries and all sorts of others (intersex, genderqueer etc.)

I'm a little unusual in that I'm physically non-binary (more on that later) but I'm strongly wanting to have an actual gender, female. Other non-binary people start from a physical gender pole and move toward the centre.

I was born with outwardly male genitalia. I grew small breasts at puberty, which later flatted but something remains even now. I never developed a full beard. I don't have full body hair either, none on my chest for instance. I'm short, have small feet and hands, slender wrists and delicate fingers. Oh and a female hairline with no sign of baldness (yay!!!  )

Why did this happen? I don't know. I've always felt female, to the degree of being uncomfortable in male social groups. To be honest I don't really associate with straight men any more. We've got nothing in common. Despite attempting the most base of hetero male confirming actions (like, that's the most pretentious way of saying "I tried to have sex ever lol!!!!!); I remain incapable. Therefore am physically also asexual. To be fair, I'm mentally in that state too although I know why both males and females are deemed attractive, I just don't feel it strongly myself.

I don't consider myself to be a 'man' in the literal sense. I don't have functioning male parts and recent hormone tests in preparation for HRT have confirmed what I've always felt - my chemical make-up is that of a pre-pubescent female. In that I'm trapped in a girl-child's body at 27 years old. One with a proto-penis like thingy attached to it. Seriously, I've seen pictures of other penises. Mine's weird looking. And testicles? Shrivelled in appearance and maybe a third of the normal size.

So that's me! Stuck in the gender wasteland and desperately seeking a way out. I just want a life, really, as an adult woman. I know I am one. Society, by and large, deems me to be one by edict of the fact that I (mostly) look and definitely act like one. Or at least in accordance with the social constructs we align with a feminine state.

I've tried to be male too!! It didn't work - I was abused, shunned, assaulted in various ways and still have nothing in the way of a career or material success. They didn't want me in their club. However the girls do, so it's off to join them - just need to sort some things out first.

It's not that we (some of us) want to transition. We sort of have to 

If you want to make an authentic film showing trans-people's lives, have transpeople behind and in front of the camera. By involving transgender people in every stage of the production, they can call you out when you trip over phrasing or jargon, and ensure the project is handled with sensitivity and empathy. So as to avoid treating trans issues like an anthropological study of a strange new people, while objectifying them with a focus on "passing" and the minutiae of medical transition.

Specifically, Transgender is an umbrella term that encompasses all gender-non conforming people, as well as those of us who conform to the opposite of the sex we were assigned at birth. The old adage, "woman trapped in a man's body" or vice versa was for transsexual individuals, which is an outdated term that refers to the trans people that seek to transition and live as the gender they identify with.

Imagine if every time you were naturally inclined to choose something someone would chastise or berate you and tell you, "boys can't do that", or "be a man", or "don't be so ->-bleeped-<-gy." (All of which I've heard many times).
I never understood why I wasn't allowed to act as I wanted or grow my hair out, although I didn't learn the words to express my experience or even that I wasn't alone until college. There were many and still are some things I hate about my body, but I didn't feel trapped inside my body, I was always trapped trying to appease everyone. I internalized conditional approval based on how well I fit in, how many people liked me. I faked masculinity because I was too afraid to deal with the consequences otherwise, at least until I couldn't handle it anymore.
I don't really want to go into my maudlin script, since it's very personal, but I decided to get help. Then I slowly came out to the people that matter to me in my life while transitioning and going to grad school. Juggling all of that has been seriously hard, but necessary.

That being said, I think a more interesting set of interviews would be to ask cisgender people what it's like for them to be cis. When they first realized they were cis etc. Then compare and contrast. You could show the stark lack of introspection vs. agonizing over volunteering to become a pariah. Although it might not be the message you're going for, the intriguing part to me, is dissecting the insecurities of cis-people that lead them to transphobia in the first place.
Whether it's a fundamental misunderstanding about what it means to be gay or trans or both. (Gay transwomen like lesbians, straight transwomen are into straight men, gay transmen like gay men, straight transmen are into straight women). Yet there's a surprising number of heterosexual men who believe it would make them gay to be with a transwoman.

Best of luck on your film.

     Hugs,
- Katie
Sent from Katie's iPad using Tapatalk

Thank you all for sharing your sincere stories with me!

I can't express how moved I am by the fact that you all have both dedicated the time to answer my questions and gave me a glimpse to your world and to the experiences you went through.

My film is still in an early stage, but hopefully it will take shape very soon! 

I usually describe the term transgender like "not identifying with the sex assigned at birth". I was assigned female at birth, not born a girl. I haven't changed anything since birth, and I'm not a girl, so I couldn't be born a girl Personally, I don't feel like I was "born in the wrong body/gender" or "born a girl/boy", I was assigned something that turned out to be untrue.
To make it even more complicated I personally think saying that someone changed their gender/sex is wrong too. Again, I have always been a boy. I didn't change anything, and my gender won't change. My body will, but my body isn't my gender.

The most annoying part of not being out was definitely peoples assumptions about my gender. Calling me a girl, woman, whatever. It still happens though, since I'm pre everything. But now I feel like it's easier to correct people.
Another annoying part was the name thing. Every time I had to say my name I cringed because I never felt like that name belonged to me, it was just super foreign.

I never thought of suicide, but I can't count the number of times where I wished I would get breast or ovarian cancer so those things would be removed from my body.



Btw, I think it's great that you ask these questions instead of just assuming what terms are correct. Of course there will always be people who disagree, even in the trans community people disagree when it comes to the different terms and descriptions. The best thing is just apologizing for offending them and asking what they would prefer instead It's a touchy subject, but you probably already knew that Good luck with the film!