So I find myself in a bit of a quandary and wouldn't mind some thoughts / input. I'm not horribly apprehensive about disclosure etc I'm just not sure how to go about it.
I'm currently out to a few of my close friends and my immediate family (parents/siblings), a cousin her husband and one aunt. So here I am early into HRT and I'm currently unsure how to address the rest of my extended family as well as the prospect of employers as I am currently job seeking.
To further frame my current situation I'm not really as yet presenting as female, aside from my hair growing out. This isn't because I don't want to but more so due to financial reasons and a lack of means outside of small things. I'm also in the process of loosing a not insignificant amount of weight, 40+ lbs down.....30 more to go for an opening act. As such investing to much in clothing doesn't seem wise, though I'm going to be forced into getting something very soon. IE some of my clothing is borderline on comically to big.
Anyway on the subject of family / friends I've spoken to I've got a good amount of support (minus my brother). On the extended family front I'm uncertain how to best proceed. I absolutely detest the idea of social media as an option, it seems awful by the large, or via phone as well. Also I have no desire to come or get outed during the holiday season, enough stress there I think for most folks.
As said I'm early on hormones so I might be able to ride out the remainder of the year and deal with it next. Or.....well just get it over with which is my current gut feeling. However I'm not a huge fan of the whole dual identity or keeping under wraps any changes I do decide to make in how I present myself.
I've seen to many transition vlogs and stories where people retain their other "mode" for the sake of work, family, friends and to me it doesn't seem worth the stress. I do understand why folks do this, but I remain on the fence about it.
Unfortunately my extended family is spread out a bit and I don't see most in person outside of a handful of yearly holiday gatherings. While it was suggested could speak to a good handful of them during Labor Day (next month), I'm not sure I'm comfortable doing so during such a gathering. This gathering specifically being camping and I don't like the idea of feeling like I might be cornering anyone.
So I suppose there's the letter option but I remain unsure, so thoughts?
As for prospective employers, I detest obscuring certain facts or being force into being evasive, mainly due to my opinion and general distasteful of the whole duel "modes" approach to transition. Also if I'm going to be subjected to discriminatory behavior or fall out it seems irreverent if it's initially or later. IE if it's going to happen it's going to happen. Thankfully I'm in a semi-reasonable area (Portland / Oregon), or so I'm told, though I don't have the personal experience to back that claim up as yet.
At the end of the day though I do have financial concerns and a time frame when it comes to my own financial stability and living arrangements etc. So bite the bullet and obfuscate the transition details until I'm secure or lay everything on the table so to speak?
