Last year I didn't have a place to live. I've gone through this, blah, blah, blah. I stayed at a friend's place for a while. He's gay. Most of his friends are gay men.

There was one in particular who upon meeting me, showed himself to be quite transphobic. Continually calling me "him" despite my friend and me both telling him otherwise. "Well, you tell him this, and you tell him this!" and so on. He was pretty sour toward my existence.

But I didn't make a scene. It was clear that I was annoyed with him and didn't care for his presence, but I wasn't mean about it. For once I handled it right!

As time went on, I'd see the guy here and there. And little by little, he grew more accepting of me. To my surprise and delight, my friend told me the other day how this guy who was once transphobic, is now advocating for trans people and talking to his kids about what transgender means. Chances are he's not going to get every detail right, but he's taking a huge step forward and doing a very good thing!

Very well done! Lead by example, and don't give the haters something to hate...we both win!

Quote from: MugwortPsychonaut on August 07, 2015, 09:50:28 AM
Last year I didn't have a place to live. I've gone through this, blah, blah, blah. I stayed at a friend's place for a while. He's gay. Most of his friends are gay men.

There was one in particular who upon meeting me, showed himself to be quite transphobic. Continually calling me "him" despite my friend and me both telling him otherwise. "Well, you tell him this, and you tell him this!" and so on. He was pretty sour toward my existence.

But I didn't make a scene. It was clear that I was annoyed with him and didn't care for his presence, but I wasn't mean about it. For once I handled it right!

As time went on, I'd see the guy here and there. And little by little, he grew more accepting of me. To my surprise and delight, my friend told me the other day how this guy who was once transphobic, is now advocating for trans people and talking to his kids about what transgender means. Chances are he's not going to get every detail right, but he's taking a huge step forward and doing a very good thing!

Well done.  I love this post.

Thanks. I feel like fraud, though, because I don't always handle things this well. In fact, sometimes I handle things poorly. And I think sometimes race plays into it, which I really don't want to admit. I find myself giving more leniency to white people, and it's really not fair! On Saturday, when that kid called me "bro" to ask for a ride home, then called me "f----t," why couldn't I have handled it that well?

It's ok to feel hurt by things.

Quote from: MugwortPsychonaut on August 07, 2015, 10:13:32 AM
Thanks. I feel like fraud, though, because I don't always handle things this well. In fact, sometimes I handle things poorly. And I think sometimes race plays into it, which I really don't want to admit. I find myself giving more leniency to white people, and it's really not fair! On Saturday, when that kid called me "bro" to ask for a ride home, then called me "f----t," why couldn't I have handled it that well?

You know nobodies perfect.   The fact that you question yourself when you don't approach things well is to be commended.   With all the crap that transgender people put up with, it's amazes me that so many are so thoughtful and considerate. 

Paige