My partner didn't go screaming into the night...I wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be. She liked the dress and even the wig. She thought I had not overdone my makeup and it looked "pretty good"
So on to the important stuff, how did she feel about it. She said it felt odd but not so bad she couldn't be in the same room as me, didn't know about the wig long term and wanted to know if I was going to grow my hair. She was more concerned about seeing me afterwards. No one is ever around when I dress and more importantly when I undress because its at this point I have overwhelming feeling of loss, futility, sorrow and just plain deep down longing. I know it coming each time and I am usually on my own and prepared for it. Today my wife got to see the "aftermath" which I think disturbed her more than anything.
We talked further and she is not going to place any constraints on when and where I dress, If she is home then she would prefer to have me as a male but if I am dressed and she is coming home then wether or not I change is up to me. I thought this was very generous of her. She really wants me to see the therapist ASAP so that I can start to relieve the stress I am under because of it.
Once again she blows my mind with her cool, calm, loving consideration...she doesn't understand it properly and as she said it is a bit of an "odd situation" for her. We both laughed and that broke some of the seriousness of the situation. We continue to move forward exploring a little more each day. KM said she thinks I am going to end up "dressing " most of the time and I said I wasn't sure and from a purely practical point of view it would be a dress every day as I would not be able to get anything done, I also said to her that loads of makeup was not my thing either and that I would end up getting more casual clothes. Don't get me wrong here I loved the dress and the heels, but as you all know a dress is not the most practical for making the bed and vacuuming the floor. Then of course there is the whole going out, at this stage going out en-femme is not going to happen, I am not "out" enough and maybe in the very near future I won't care but for now it is important in the respect that if I have things to do then I won't be doing them in a dress(for the moment). I am fairly sure she was relieved when I said I was unlikely to be venturing out anywhere.
The dialogue continues every day and everyday she becomes a little more comfortable with Sarah and I become a little less stressed about Sarah.
I think I am a pretty lucky Gal
Sarah T
