So I'm probably posting in the wrong section of the forums because either A) there isn't a relationship area or B) My vision is getting worse.

Just want to get some advice on something I've been dealing with now for the past couple of months. I have been friends with this girl for about 7 years (so yeah she has known me since before my transition) we met at work. I have never thought about her as being more than just a really good friend to talk to. She gives me advice, I give her advice so we're good support for each other. When I met her she was dating a guy for about 5 years and they ended up getting engaged. I liked him and met him whenever I went to her house, he was a cool guy to chill with you know? Anyways she broke off the engagement and is back on the market so to speak. well before I went out for my top surgery I hung out with her for a weekend. We got drunk and we started to do some things but that ended quickly because she didn't seem in to it. We didn't go very far, we just dry humped haha. I started to feel something for her after that and I got mad about the guy she was best friends with for 10 years. All she did was cry and complain about how she loved him and how they had sex but after that he basically told her he didn't want anything but a friendship. I ended up telling her that I caught some feelings for her and she was flattered I suppose but didn't really say anything but she was sorry and she won't talk about guys around me.

We texted almost everyday since after my surgery and after we had that talk (she didn't talk to me for two weeks after that). I told her I was sorry for getting mad but I just don't want her hurt and want her to be happy. We saw each other for the first time in about a month the other day and god.. she looked so good lol. I was slowly getting back into not having feelings for her because I figured that's the best thing to do since I don't think she'd be able to get into dating a transman. Anyways I saw her smile from about 500 feet away and my heart just sunk. I looked at her and all I could see was a tunnel and just her at the end of it. I shook my head and had to look away because I didn't want to feel this way for her. I don't want to get hurt and I don't want to get my hopes up.

We're really good friends and we can talk about some of the most disgusting things with each other like when we take a poop or when we have boogers. It's almost like being gross little kids you know? I guess I'll just see where my life takes me and do what I can to not let this hurt me. I like her, and maybe I love her but at the same time maybe we're just meant to be friends. Who knows..

OH and on top of this she's been talking to this new guy that works for my company. She doesn't work there any more but her store is actually near the one I go to on a weekly basis. I haven't been hearing great things about him and she hasn't met him yet. He is already saying he wants to be part of her and misses her and she seems to find these things "charming". I told her I get a weird vibe from him and she takes my advice pretty seriously. I don't want to be jealous and I know I am but I do worry about her so I tell her anything I hear about him. She seems to always attract these realll sleeze balls. The last guy she slept with was married and has a disabled son. He's been trying to get back into contact with her and I said ABSOLUTELY NOT. I told her to just go on a date with the guy she's talking to and get a feel for him. I'm just worried she'll sleep with him and end up regretting it or worse, get pregnant.

Ok my opinion...
sometimes people need another relationship to get over someone... which she had...

you might talk to her saying you feel for her, and if she could imagine something between you, maybe taking it slow...
well she could say yes or no, and you could still remain friends... but you have talked about it...


hugs

I'm just unsure about my feelings. I haven't had a serious relationship in about 5 years. I haven't dated in 4 years. I just don't want to face rejection and be disappointed so I kind of distance myself from the situation. I don't want to ruin my friendship.. I guess maybe I'm waiting for her to maybe tell me how she feels about me? I spoke with her today and we were joking about the guy and I was like well if you want the "D" then sleep with him. She was like I don't really need a man, just more of someone to be with. I dunno if maybe that was a hint that I should maybe go for it or just again, wait and see what happens. I don't know how to ask girls out lol.. I'm not good at that!

Well what people usually regret is what they have not done... (all within reason)
one possibility could be:
-saying you like her, and if she could imagine if something might develop, and you want to take it slow...
well she could say yes or no...
if she says no you could say ok lets stay friends... and continue the friendship...

well imo there is no need to ask her out... just hinting at that you'd like to see more... and like to take it slow...


well its up to you 

thank you for the advice. I guess I'll see how things go and maybe eventually if she gives me some kind of hint I'll go for it

Quote from: RaptorChops on August 08, 2015, 07:05:29 PM
thank you for the advice. I guess I'll see how things go and maybe eventually if she gives me some kind of hint I'll go for it

Well... its possible she also waits for some kind of hint...
sometimes both wait for the first step....
Its not that a lenghty explanation is required 

hugs