I have my top surgery scheduled for August 7th. I saw Dr Mangubat in Tukwila (Greater Seattle) for an in-person consult after having a phone consult 4 weeks earlier. It went well considering I haven't stripped for a doctor since I was a small child. He seemed impressed with my fitness and only asked for a general surgical clearance from my doctor without a need for EKG and lab work.

I got the best possible scheduling I could ask for at this point so the trip will be quite short and the latter part of my recovery will be during the annual work shutdown at the end of summer so I'm losing less work than otherwise.

Presently I'm sort of numb. I've been researching and dithering for months. While it's a relief to have decision made I still have a knot in my stomach for amount of money it will cost. Endless internal voices questioning if I'm worth spending that much on. Hardly anyone knows I'm agender and even among those who do I feel reticent about telling about getting a surgery date. I should want to shout it out to the world but I just want to say nothing and hope nobody really notices. Sort of like when you get new glasses and people see a difference but aren't sure what it is.

Hmmm. I thought that someone out of over 60 views would have a comment to add.

The date is getting close. I don't feel so numb anymore, I'm getting excited. I still feel a lot of anxiety almost every day over the money and what people will say when they see me after. Every day is up and down. My main distraction from the down moods is work because I have to be fully engaged with the kids. Post-op I won't have that distraction. 

 genderirrelevant, I missed your first post.  Congratulations on getting to this point, I hope to get mine in about a year and a half, need to save the money. How long you been on t?  I hope everything goes well for you with surgery and recovery. I know this a big event in your transitioning, just think no more binder which get very hot and sweatie for me during the hot months

You know, you might be surprised at the lack of observation. My clients knew I was going to be out for at least one week, possibly two when I had surgery. They didn't know what I was having done, and I hadn't updated my name at work at that point. I think they assumed it was something back or hip related because I do a lot of lifting at work.

When I came back a week and a half later flat-chested, nobody seemed to notice. The only person that did notice didn't say anything about it and still hasn't.

You'll care about the money less once it's over. I always have terrible buyer's remorse when I spend any money on myself, no matter how small an amount. This is undoubtedly the most expensive "gift" I've ever bought myself, and I don't regret it in the slightest.

Getting close now. Good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm sure everything will be great.

Congratulations for jumping all the hoops and getting your priorities to align.  I can only imagine how much more comfortable you will be in so many ways.  As ftmax notes, I too have been surprised at how my big changes were often overlooked as I transitioned socially.  With your health and vigor you're going to sail through the surgery and recovery.  We don't take these big steps for the masses to applaud and your desire for a quieter reentry seems very understandable.

And yes you are definitely worth it; this is the land where the "pursuit of happiness" is enshrined and foundational.

One issue may be stifling the commentary input here:

"Top surgery" goes both ways -- additive, subtractive.

We're not entirely clear which way you're heading. I think subtractive, but it's a 50/50 guess w/ some hedge because I know how to "read" presentation.

Cis-M here . . . Wishing the "tumor" would heal itself. (Penis) . . . Would like to get rid of the face/body hair. Not looking at surgical intervention. My bod is precariously balanced already, no point in "adjusting" the endocrine system here, for me. (Power to those whose mileage may vary!)

I'm hating the body hair so much (shave ever 6 hr. or I have stubble) -- I've started (militancy) andro presenting, lots of "F" presenting: clothes, earrings, hair past shoulders, but also not so anxious about a day or two needing to shave.

I hate shaving!

We fall somewhere in the middle. Not polar M, not polar F. We're in the middle. It's obvious I'm "cis-M" but the presentation runs down the middle, in-between. (no skirts, dresses, bras -- because they don't work fashion wise for me).

But I wish the body hair would go away

Quote from: mm on July 27, 2015, 09:13:02 AM
How long you been on t?

You made my day! I'm not on T but I've been genetically blessed with good musculature. I don't want to go on T because it makes your junk grow and that has no appeal to me as an agender asexual.

I'm pretty sure a lot of people won't notice because I've been binding for months and slowly losing weight so it could look like I've just lost more weight. I'm sure some people will notice and I know one coworker who will probably loudly ask questions and blab about it.

8 more sleeps!

Only 4 more sleeps!

I went to Wreck Beach on Sunday evening (Vancouver's famous clothing optional beach). I am modest to a fault but I sorta thought it would be appropriate to get a picture before they are gone. I hate getting my picture taken. I look awful in most of them. That'll still be usually true in the future but at least my chest won't look awful.

I had wondered about lying around topless get some colour on the pasty white lumps but I couldn't do it even on a part of the beach with almost no one else around.

I wish I had taken before pictures! The memory of them is already fairly hazy to me a few months after the fact, so I wish I had something to point to when people ask what my surgeon had had to work with. She's got a few before pictures from various angles, but I haven't been back to see her since my drains came out.

36 hrs post-op. Pain is tolerable. Chest looks like it will be really good once the markings, bruising, and swelling go away.

Congratulations 

I missed your original postings, however I can certainly empathise with finally feeling that your body is how you want it to be.  After I had my orchi I felt so happy and was telling everyone I knew what a great operation it was and that I'd heartily recommend it.  (For some reason males got funny uncomfortable expressions on their faces when I said that.)

As someone who is starting out with embracing being NB I'm enjoying the freedom and diversity of being out of the binary trap.  I'm delighted that I grew a nice small pair of breasts after HRT and you've just had successful top surgery without being on T.  Not being squeezed into any set narrative is liberating and I'm glad I got here even if it did take me a few years to get the memo.

Lady Smith, cis guys defend and protect there balls at all cost.  To hear some guy had them cut off makes them want to protect their all the more.

Congratulations !!!