It's not really as difficult as you make it out to be - just tell them what you want. They'll either do it (and get paid) or if they hem and haw, just walk out.
Well before any of my transitioning, I would tell them the hairstyle I wanted, mentioning some female model or actress...no one cared. They simply cared that they got the correct visual, and could determine how to give that style to me. Just be honest with what you want (and it doesn't have to involve some big public revelation of your Trans status), otherwise you'll likely be unsatisfied with the cut you paid for. If you're really still worried, you can always just do an imaginary scale, such that if your right hand is "handsome" and your left hand is "pretty", you'd want your hairstyle more towards the "pretty" spectrum. Unless a hairstylist factually knows that's what you want, they may be afraid to give a femme hairstyle to a guy; after I told my stylists I wanted "pretty", my hairstylist and brow stylist worked so much more quickly, effectively, and open to trying new things, and I was very happy overall.
Just go to any fancy-schmancy salon in Tucson. Would recommend staying away from a beauty school, since the technique is quite variable with students (and the teachers may only be better in theory, but not practical application).
