Hello,

I'm new to the forums but have been reading through them for the past couple weeks and it seems like a welcoming community.

I am married, almost 30 and just now starting to embrace my feminine side after years of overcompensating in the other direction. I have always known I've wanted to be a woman since a young age but have been suppressing it and trying to conform to society's male image.

I am quite muscular and have been moving closer and closer to the "alpha male" persona over the last 5 years or so through bodybuilding etc. Before that I was quite slim and had a more androgynous frame. I know I have a lot of work ahead of me in order to get down to a passable size.

Right now I am only out to myself and my wife. It scares the hell out of me to imagine what my family, friends, and co-workers would think/say/do if I were to tell them, and I don't want to lose my job or those close to me. I need to start talking to others though, so here I am.

Hi Rachel, welcome to Susan's. Your fears are common for most of us. It's completely normal and those are things a therapist can help you with too. I look forward to seeing you around the forums. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah

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Rachel,

Welcome to Susan's.

It is a very caring group here. A moderator should check in soon and give you some links to rules and general guides for the site.

I have only just come out to my wife of 25 years about 4 months ago. Most nerve wracking thing I have ever done. There are many here with many experiences, you are bound to find someone who sounds like like their story could be yours. Most of us were and many of us still are a bit frightened as well. There are many of us who through denial or some other coping mechanism bounced to the very male end of the spectrum.

It is a long journey that can be challenging. However, I was advised that it is a marathon, not a sprint. If you don't have a therapist yet, I would highly suggest you find one(many will tell you a gender therapist is the best choice). If you decide to progress in any amount of transition, you may need a therapist.

Welcome again. Feel free to ask questions. Keep communications with others and your wife going. Don't forget to breath.

Good luck and I wish you a smooth journey, wherever it takes you.

With warmth,

Joanna

PS  When I posted this I see that Mariah beat me to a few points. She has great advice.

Thank you,

My wife and I are seeing a therapist next week, and hopefully it goes well. I have no idea what to expect but I already feel like I am going to be on the defensive. We've requested a therapist that deals with gender identity so hopefully they will be helpful.

Hi Rachel 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

Big warm welcome to Susan's Rachel

Can understand the drive to conformity, I went through that too... maybe not the body building bit tho... mines more skiing and water sports... err but not the latter now so much HRT kinda makes that awkward 

Its good that yourself and your wife are exploring together its a good sign...

Best wishes on your journey and look forward to seeing you about the forums

L Katy 

Hey everyone!
I've been browsing around this forum a bit, and I'm popping into this thread to say hello as well.
I'm "Rachel1"s wife.
35 years old, cis female, and panromantic/demisexual.
I'm active within the furry community and have always been rainbow friendly.
I admit, that I am a bit saddened to lose a husband, and the comfort of the social "normality" that comes with it.
I am attracted to females as well as males though, and I will be staying with her, supporting her, and remaining intimate.
We've both promised each other to take this transition at a pace that we are both comfortable with.

As for an update on the original post:
The first councilor's meeting didn't go well at all.
When I set up the appointment, I specifically told them that this wouldn't be a "marriage councilling" meeting, but they chalked it up to "relationship problems" nonetheless 
I've re-booked with a different councilor next week, one that has specific LGBQT experience, and we'll see if that goes any better.
My workplace only supplies general councilors, but I'm going to try to exhaust that option first, without having the extra pressure of out-of-pocket expenses, as I'd rather spend our extra money on buying new clothes for her so she doesn't keep stretching out all of mine! 

I love you, hun.
Wish us luck, everybody!

Welcome to Susan's.