So I recently revamped my OKCupid profile and am curious as to what others think. My main concern is that it is a bit long and the wall of text may scare people off.

Then again, everything I put in it is meaningful and I don't think it's difficult or uninteresting to read. So a part of me thinks "Well great!" if someone doesn't even bother to read through it.

Anyway, thoughts?

alaiahazeleyes on OKC


I guess I'll leave this post as a general place for others to share their profiles and get feedback as well. I didn't see any other posts already set up for this purpose.

I like your "right from the get-go" approach. I'm Lindaluvsdogs on OKCupid if you want to take a look. I keep it short, the first line does all (most) of the filtering for me.

Hugs, Devlyn

Still here? Ok then, my expectation then is that you at least have a little bit of understanding about who I am. At least enough to know whether or not you're interested in learning about me further.

You might change the twice then...


I personally would change the style a bit.
Beginning with what you like...
so that people can have a feeling of common interests...
then talkin about tg...

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on August 10, 2015, 12:43:27 PM
I like your "right from the get-go" approach. I'm Lindaluvsdogs on OKCupid if you want to take a look. I keep it short, the first line does all (most) of the filtering for me.

Hugs, Devlyn

Thanks Devlyn, I appreciate the feedback. Yeah, yours is pretty short and succinct--I like that.

Quote from: Laura_7 on August 10, 2015, 12:58:35 PM
You might change the twice then...

Good catch! Thanks for pointing that out, not sure why I didn't pick up on how bad that sounded before...

Quote
I personally would change the style a bit.
Beginning with what you like...
so that people can have a feeling of common interests...
then talkin about tg...

No, I like it how it is now. I'd rather be emphatically clear about who I am and let the trash take themselves out from the get go then have to deal with more messages like this:

Geez, that guy was quite a jerk . I cant figure out how to go to Your OKC profile because the link is not working for me and I have not found search engine on OKC, but so far my experience with it is that most people dont read the full-profile anyway (it becomes clear after a short interaction) and when I politely ask them to read it, they go through it and then either quit or state that they are not interested.

Nevermind, found You

Well one possibility would be a few words in the beginning, a summing up who you are and what you like.
Like a nice picture, or a portrait.
If you could describe yourself in a short few sentences, how would that look like ? 

Then going into detailed explanations.


I'd say 'don't let yourself getting distracted by a few frustrated people.
Especially on the internet some people might forget their manners.
Imo best to delete their messages, put them on a blacklist and forget about it, moving on to meaningful and nice people.
A lot of the internet is about that, about filtering.
Also concerning content. A lot of info can be found on the internet. Is advisable to keep to sane and reliable places.

Unfortunately some people have a feeling they have to fight, and change thus.
I'd say try to relax and be you. Try to live your positive sides and keep to positive people.


hugs

I got in touch with OKC a few years ago about their lack of gender profile options, their response was overwhelmingly positive. Logging on recently I see they have a HUGE variation of gender indenties available - man, woman, trans man, trans woman, trans spirited and a bunch of other options that I've actually never heard of before.

To me, that sounds like OKC is a friendly place for people from ALL backgrounds and we all have the right to use their website. That sorry excuse for a man who sent you that message needs to be re-educated and get a life, I can't believe he even took the time to write that rubbish.

What a loser.

*end rant*

On another note, some of the women I have interacted with on OKC come off as very interested in me but the fact I am trans is an absolute deal breaker. It seems that it doesn't matter how cool you are, or your profile, some people just can't get over it (or themselves).

Oh well, they will be sorry when I'm famous  lol

I guess we persevere, never give up!

Quote from: nicks on August 11, 2015, 01:31:48 PM

Some of the women I have interacted with on OKC come off as very interested in me but the fact I am trans is an absolute deal breaker.

They'll be sorry when I'm famous 

Well thats why it might be an idea to show some interests and other stuff further to the top of the profile...
so people can see its normal people with normal cravings and feelings...
imo often people have no clear idea what it means...


hugs

I once had a nice interaction with a guy from Austria and then he asked me "what does "transwoman" mean" - like, come on, google it if in doubts. Still, I explained the concept and then never heard back from him.

Yeah, anyone that can't be bothered to google something probably isn't worth the time.

I have 2 lines total on mine. 1. you must be willing to date a trans woman, 2. you should be looking for a long-term relationship.  That is the beginning and end of it lol.

I just didn't want to hide the crux with clutter.  Just my own approach.

I have tried having a profile that did not mention I was trans and I got a million people messaging me and almost none of them would stay after I disclosed.  That was extremely discouraging and depressing for me.  This new way has worked so much better for me 'cause when a guy messages me I know there is potential there for a date if I like him at all.

...

Oh my gosh I just read your profile and we live in the same city! (PM me if you want to, we should chat )

I just deleted my okcupid profile.  Mostly because I'm only 3 months into HRT so I still mostly look like a guy.  I only created a profile as a woman because I wanted to be honest but I was only getting interest from straight guys and it wouldn't work out well for me.

I didn't get ->-bleeped-<-ty messages per se, but I did get a few "what does MTF mean" (and then not messaging me after I explain) or questions about my genitals (with a "I'm just asking" if I don't respond). 

The real bonus about okcupid is that you can use the search parameters to narrow your matches down to people who only answer yes to the question "would you date someone who is transgender?"  To do this go to matches, then filter it by questions.  When I did this I also narrowed it down to bisexual guys, but that was just because I'm super early into transitioning. 
It felt nice to be able to weed out the ones who weren't going to like me being transgender from the get-go. 

Question.

How did you get the trans option? Because I have only ever seen man/woman so i had to put a clarification in my profile. Also the stupid thing wouldn't even register my city unless i put in a zip code. Is it because I'm using mobile?

Btw I'm TobiLeLoup

just signed up and will give it a try : MarleeMthecat

your profile is wonderfully clear and hopefully the A-holes will actually read it first LOL

Quote from: BenKenobi on August 17, 2015, 10:25:15 PM
Question.

How did you get the trans option? Because I have only ever seen man/woman so i had to put a clarification in my profile. Also the stupid thing wouldn't even register my city unless i put in a zip code. Is it because I'm using mobile?

Btw I'm TobiLeLoup

The mobile version I set up my account with only showed M/F too.

When you go to your profile you can edit various parts.  Go to the top and you'll be able to edit where it says "woman" and then change it to "trans woman" or "transwoman" whichever you prefer.  This is how I did it, but I was on my laptop.

I just opened app from my tablet, and there it is - under Your profile You can edit Your orientation and who You are and they offer a lot of options (if it is not working for some - maybe the OKC app needs to be updated?).

I don't think I could deal with internet dating. I think I'd just meet people in casual/social situations and make friends with people. If attraction happens, I'll see where it goes.