I have a pretty serious problem and I'm really not sure what to do.  Being trans makes finding work really hard already but on top of that I have a criminal record.  I was really troubled before transition and spent a lot of time in and out of jail.  None of it was violent or drug related, but any record makes it hard to find work.  I've been trying to find work for 2 Years but have had no luck.  I managed to stay out of trouble these last five years, but I just got arrested again.  I will own up to my mistakes...I was stealing food to feed my partner and our baby.  Now I have even less chance of finding work.  I am afraid...I can't take care of my family and I'm afraid if things get worse I will lose my son.  Nobody will give me a chance and I'm past my breaking point. I'm still fighting for the sake of my family, but I'm almost ready to lay down and die.  If this is what life has in store then I don't want it anymore.  If anyone has any advice or encouragement I'll take it.  I'm so lost and alone and terrified

your wife can get food and money from welfare for the child

My advice is keep on marching. I have a criminal record from when I was your age too, Larceny over $250.00

There will come a time when it doesn't matter. Yes, things will be more complicated for you in the immediate future. There isn't anything that can be done about that.

You owned your mistake, now just move on.

Hugs, Devlyn

My God that's tough. I'm so sorry. I wish I knew what to suggest.

I won't give you a glib answer, because I don't have one. You know that what you did was foolish, but I can fully appreciate the desperation behind the act, particularly in most of the western world, where the last few decades have seen the rolling back of safety nets and the onset of real poverty.

I have not much to offer, but I give what I have willingly, namely my words of encouragement and sympathy. You are clearly not a bad person, just one who has unfortunately fallen into a rut, and if there is any justice in the world, someone will show you an act of compassion and kindness. You don't deserve to be in this predicament, no one does.

If you don't mind sharing, it may help people to know roughly wich part of the world you come from as welfare provisions do differ. Hopefully someone near you can offer some help. As a student I currently have limited resources, but if you were near me I would try to find you some source of practical assistance if I could.

Thanks to everyone for the encouragement, especially Devlyn (she knows why)

To answer the location question, I'm in Arkansas now but we will be moving into our van for the foreseeable future.  We are going to travel in search of work, security, and ultimately identity.  I'm lost in this world.  I've spent most of my adult life homeless or behind bars.  I'm going to have to panhandle just to keep us going.  I'm not proud of it but it's the only thing I know how to do other than petty crime.  I don't want to end up behind bars and abandon my family.  I don't want to break the law, but once you are a crook it's the only job you can land.  I'm scared that there's nothing left for me but a life of white trash poverty.  I'm afraid that's going to be my sons life too.  I don't want him to have to learn the family trade and end up like his mom.  Is this all the world has to offer us?

How could I bring him into this world.  Sometimes I wonder if abortion isn't kinder than bringing a child into a world with no birthright but endless poverty

Quote from: Oriah on August 10, 2015, 07:03:13 PM
Thanks to everyone for the encouragement, especially Devlyn (she knows why)

To answer the location question, I'm in Arkansas now but we will be moving into our van for the foreseeable future.  We are going to travel in search of work, security, and ultimately identity.  I'm lost in this world.  I've spent most of my adult life homeless or behind bars.  I'm going to have to panhandle just to keep us going.  I'm not proud of it but it's the only thing I know how to do other than petty crime.  I don't want to end up behind bars and abandon my family.  I don't want to break the law, but once you are a crook it's the only job you can land.  I'm scared that there's nothing left for me but a life of white trash poverty.  I'm afraid that's going to be my sons life too.  I don't want him to have to learn the family trade and end up like his mom.  Is this all the world has to offer us?

How could I bring him into this world.  Sometimes I wonder if abortion isn't kinder than bringing a child into a world with no birthright but endless poverty

Hello Oriah ,

I am really sorry to hear about all the things you are going through now . Sometimes we see people here yet we have no idea the pain they endure in their lives .
Please try not to let the darkness and self-guilt feelings haunt you . You are an  amazing person , from the other posts i saw and also , even your gesture is more than understandable . Maybe if the state will focus more on offering shelters and opportunities rather than putting people in jails , things won't be this way .
Also , maybe you can be your own employer until you find another one , in my country there are people who make some money in many ways ( indeed , not much ) , but they either do artisanal things , offer services , ... I guess it depends on the country regulations too , but i am sure you can find a solution and we are here to listen and tell ideas .


I am sending good vibes and many hugs for you and your family . Please stay strong , including for your child . One day this will be a reason of pride . 

Quote from: Claudia_FF on August 11, 2015, 06:12:17 AM
Hello Oriah ,

I am really sorry to hear about all the things you are going through now . Sometimes we see people here yet we have no idea the pain they endure in their lives .
Please try not to let the darkness and self-guilt feelings haunt you . You are an  amazing person , from the other posts i saw and also , even your gesture is more than understandable . Maybe if the state will focus more on offering shelters and opportunities rather than putting people in jails , things won't be this way .
Also , maybe you can be your own employer until you find another one , in my country there are people who make some money in many ways ( indeed , not much ) , but they either do artisanal things , offer services , ... I guess it depends on the country regulations too , but i am sure you can find a solution and we are here to listen and tell ideas .


I am sending good vibes and many hugs for you and your family . Please stay strong , including for your child . One day this will be a reason of pride .

Thank you, honey.  The encouragement helps a lot.  It doesn't change circumstances any but it makes the days easier to get through.  I deal the best I can, but I don't always like myself.  Sometimes I feel a lot older than 25, and the rest of the time I feel a lot younger. 

What I really need is opportunity, but in lieu of that I'll gladly take encouragement.
I've found enough people who will look past me being TG for employment but not many will hire somebody with a record.   Sometimes I think I should just lie on the applications...

Quote from: Oriah on August 11, 2015, 06:37:58 PM
I've found enough people who will look past me being TG for employment but not many will hire somebody with a record.   Sometimes I think I should just lie on the applications...

It's your call how you fill out the application, but you might consider writing on the application theft of food to feed family. They might have a little understanding that it wasn't for personal gain and you would rather have a job than steal to put food on the table. Good luck in your search.

Hi, Oriah!  It's nice to hear from you again! 

I'm sorry that you have to go through this, and I feel for you.  It's tough enough to find a job as a cisgendered individual with no criminal record, let alone the additional barriers for someone who doesn't fit that description, but I have faith in you.  From what I know of you, you are a very hard worker, and I admire that.  That being said, I would not encourage you to lie on your application, as that will put you in deeper water should they find out.  I like the idea of explaining what the offense was for.  One time I reviewed an application for my job by an older gentlemen that was born in the 50's.  On his application, that he was charged with assault because a guy broke into his home through his window, and he literally said "and I beat him down with my fist".  I actually found that hilarious and would have hired him just for being so real and honest, so don't give up, hun.  I would try to look into some programs that help people with criminal offenses get job placement.  Best of luck to you!

Hi Oriah

Big hugs to you

Sometimes we do things that we later regret, for what, at the time seems the right thing to do, especially when all the chips are down. Its unfortunate that often they come back and bite at some stage.

I applaud you for sharing this and your openness, I am sorry that you are forced to live in your van, I hope something will come through and help you there.

I can only suggest that you are open with all, and, whatever you say or don't say in trying to get a stabile future will become trivial, and, by your attitude to carrying out your job, will far outweigh your history and past.
At the end of the day you have done your time!

I really wish you good luck and better times ahead..

Hugs
Katy

Thanks everyone.  I was gone on a hiatus for quite a while but I'm glad to be back on Susan's.  I don't really have a support system in real life.  I love how easy it is to find people who understand and care on here!