Hey Folks,

Long time lurker who just signed up. It's been wonderful learning so much from this community.

Anyway, my question touches on a lot of issues already addressed on this forum, but I'm hoping to get some answers more focused on my specific concerns. Thank you in advance!

I'm a MAAB who identifies as genderqueer, and I present myself as androgynous/a feminine dude mostly, though I have gone out in full girl mode--which has been absolutely wonderful and liberating. The possibility of HRT is thrilling to bring out more of my feminine side. To be clear, I'm not interested in transitioning, but I'm okay with the outward physical changes. I'm specifically concerned about the effect on my sex life. I have a female partner (we're married), and I really enjoy the ways in which we're intimate. I'm totally comfortable with my genitals and their function, and I'd be disappointed if I lost that ability.

So my question: would any of you in similar situations who've chosen HRT feel comfortable sharing your experiences with how it affected your sex life? Were/are you able to sustain erections for PIV or other penetrative sex acts? My understanding is that sperm production goes down and the experience of orgasm is different. But does long-term, low-dose HRT inevitably lead to a shrinking of the penis and testicles?

Of course, I understand this is a YMMV situation, and that ultimately I'd need to consult with a therapist, doctor, and endo (definitely going to start therapy for gender issues soon). I guess I'm looking learn about your personal, on-the-ground experiences.

A corollary: have any of you non-binary MAABs had similar questions and opted ultimately not to go with HRT? Did that decision have any impact on how (or how often/close to full-time) you present yourself as androgynous or feminine?

Many thanks and all respect to you,
Sasha

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Quote from: sasha vee on August 12, 2015, 08:06:13 AM
So my question: would any of you in similar situations who've chosen HRT feel comfortable sharing your experiences with how it affected your sex life? Were/are you able to sustain erections for PIV or other penetrative sex acts? My understanding is that sperm production goes down and the experience of orgasm is different. But does long-term, low-dose HRT inevitably lead to a shrinking of the penis and testicles?

I experienced considerable shrinkage nearly from day one, and, while I could become erect, they weren't the hard, solid erections I would have needed to satisfy a female partner.

I know of other people who had no trouble getting erections. I was 51 when I started HRT, so that may have been part of it. I even know one NB person who used a teeny bit of testosterone before she was to have sex.

I'll say that HRT helped me immensely to present feminine convincingly.

My sex drive died off almost immediately.

After 6 months I was down to pretty much never feeling like it, only maybe once a month or so.

The skin in that entire area got more sensitive. I used to be able to do things with no lube whatsoever and it never even phased me, but as HRT wore on, it got harder and harder to do things the "traditional" way, and I had to find different ways of reaching orgasm, because the more-sensitive skin tore more easily and just couldn't handle the same amount of friction without feeling uncomfortable because things got so much more sensitive.

After 2 years, although I can still get erections if something really gets me going, they're painful to have because things have atrophied. It actually feels like getting stabbed in the groin with a knife every time, because it's just not used to having that much blood inside of it anymore. I've had to find ways to orgasm without erections to keep it enjoyable rather than painful.

So yeah, if you're planning on maintaining normal male-type sexual function, I wouldn't recommend messing around with it. There's a trans woman in our group who has to take testosterone suppliments to get an erection at all, lots of people report the same thing, and it's very much a crapshoot.

Thank you for the responses so far!

I've been on HRT coming up to 18 months now in a few days and I'm currently abel to still get erections without much difficulty.
I made it a habit to try and get it hard a few times a month to try and keep it from shrinking so that I still have enough skin for SRS. Sometimes it can hurt a bit but nothing extreme. depending on what kind of regime you're on your testicles will probably shrink, espeically if you end up being put on an anti androgen.

I've also never really had much of a sex drive to begin with so can't really help you there.

After 4 years on full-dose HRT, it all still works just fine. Yes, there has been some shrinkage, but not a huge amount. It does take more work to get the engine running though.

From my reading around the web, it seems that those that want function often retain it.. Those that don't want it, don't get it.

I was treated long before blockers were available and even with the heavy dose of hormones they gave me, everything continued to work right up to surgery so the surgeon had the maximum amount of skin to work with. A few of the older girls in the group did report a reduction in functionality but I had surgery at 30 which meant age hadn't affected my sexuality yet.

Right on. Thanks for the additional responses. I think the more I read on this site, the more interested I am in HRT as a kind of psychiatric treatment for GID. I've seen threads where folks have described something I often feel: a pang of longing to look and feel and act like the cis-women I see out in the world, on TV, etc; the never-ending desire to be pretty. And I can mitigate that longing in large part by adopting a more feminine mode of presentation and affect; I can transform into something closer to an authentic version of myself. But sometimes that's not enough. I don't mind the body I have; I'm just so fiercely uncomfortable with masculinity.