My wife and I put the dog in daycare for the day and went to play tourist in a town on the south shore.  As we window-shopped in a little boutique-y store, I saw a rack of absolutely gorgeous ladies' shawl sweaters.  All I could think of was how good one of them would look on me!

Because I'm not out yet with my wife, I didn't dare say anything.  I could see myself mentally smacking my own wrist so I wouldn't grab one off the rack.  It was an eye-opener, because I realized that this is how I've lived my entire life: smacking myself down so I'd conform to society's expectations.

As I become more aware of myself, this stuff is going to get harder.  Sooner or later, I am going to have to come out, but I just know it will not go well.  I have a great deal of fear over the consequences.

Thanks for letting me ramble.

Absolutely, Kathy! Do you and your spouse have any good girl friends in common? We do and every time Sweetie goes for a girl's day out with her my heart just aches. I wanna go, too!

Coming out CAN be a pleasant surprise. I'm out to every significant person in my life and the only one who had a bad reaction is Sweetie. That's to be expected. She's the person most affected by this other than me. Even she's beginning to come around. In my experience the longer you keep it from her the worse it's gonna go. I took almost six months to wrap my head around it and prepare to tell her and that length of time was her biggest issue. She would have preferred that I tell her as soon as the notion entered my head. Anyway. The point is, woman up and tell her, at least a little, as soon as you can. If you want to keep her it's your best shot. If you have a therapist, and you should, early days are a horrible strain, talk with them about how best to approach her. Or talk to us, many of us have been there.

Good luck, honey!

Perhaps you would enjoy the Sweater Song...