My Transgender Life: The Lost and Found

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/grace-anne-stevens/my-transgender-life-the-l_b_7971510.html?utm_hp_ref=transgender

The Huffington Post/by Grace Anne Stevens   08/11/2015

"For so many years I had no idea how lost I really was. I think this may not only be true for many trans folk, but it just might be true for almost everyone too!

By all outward appearances I was pretty successful. I was married for 25 years, raised 3 fabulous kids in an upper middle class suburb and thought I was living the American dream of the boomer generation that I was part of.

Yet, I knew there was something missing, as I knew that all of this was not enough. No, not really that it was not enough; because, after all it was plenty and more than most ever get to have. It was something very different. There was always the inner battle with gender variance. I was aware of that seemingly forever, although - with various degrees of difficulty - was able to keep it in check."

Childhood sex abuse, confused gender ID since about 4 yrs. old and not at all understood. And so I've been hiding, secretive, embarrassed, anxious about being "outed."

And now I realize that I've been compensating all my life: Gender studies in grad-school, women authors, trans-gender themes in lit. Big, secret closet. All sorts of dysfunctional, unhappy mal-adaptive compensation.

Pretty much mostly gone. We know who we are now, entirely OK, (happy) to set others straight about my orientation.