Quote from: Wing Walker on December 08, 2007, 04:31:02 AM
Hi, Natalie,
Thank you for sharing your great news! Living your life as you have always believed you should is an addictive high, too.
I hate the term "stealth." It sounds like a deception and it's not. We are women and we go about our business like everyone who looks, acts, and sounds like us, with everyone who presents themselves as a woman.
Having said that, I am soooooo very happy for you. Life can be lots of fun when you live it without explaining yourself. You go, GF!
BTW, have you thought of coming to the Vancouver area? Lots of work out here.
Enjoy yourself, lots!
Wing Walker
I have to stay in Alberta until after my surgery, but I've been talking about going to Vancouver for a bit now with a friend who also lives there (she's also transitioning).
Posted on: December 08, 2007, 02:29:10 PM
I don't like the word stealth, technically. I just be myself.
I won't be ditching all of my old friends, etc. I know someone who did this, and basically people thought she was dead except her closest friends. Moving to another city -- if I do that -- doesn't mean that anyone I used to know will be out of my life. And, I really don't hide myself and my history, but I don't exactly advertise it either. I advertised for a long time, even though I had so-called "passing privileges" (I don't like that word), I advertised to a lot of people. People would say, "Wow, I didn't know you were TS?" So, yeah, I've done my fair share of activism for the trans community here, constantly outing myself. In fact, next year, I'm going to be in a book and I'm not only outing myself, but also half-naked to boot. So, basially, I don't advertise, but I'll probably always be open if someone asks me about it. My transition is part of my life, and so is my past, and I can't hide that or be afraid someone might discover it. All that stuff is still there, all of my friends are still there, all of my past and transition is still here -- but that doesn't mean that I have to advertise it anymore. Does that make sense? So, maybe "stealth" is the wrong word. But maybe just being addicted to be being myself makes more sense.
But, you know, I'm liking not being an activist all the time. I'm liking not having to constantly explain things to everyone. People have taken my place, and I know others will take there places when they move on. I'm to the point that I want to organize my life beyond transition. I want to figure out where I want to go career wise. I want to has some adventure in my life. I want to do a lot of things beyond just transitioning and feeling stuck in the trans-educator/activist role for my entire life.
And ordinary means that I'm seen as a woman and that's it. I've been getting it for a long time. My last two jobs none of my co-workers knew about my trans status. As a person, I'm far from ordinary. Of course, no one in here actually knows me in real life, so how would ppl in here know for real. I'm a character, I attract a lot of friends, and I'm a pretty cool person.
Another fun fact is that I'm also doing to be doing Drag King stuff. My first show is Feb. 7th if I plan on sticking around this city until then. It's in Feb cause the show in Jan was canceled or something. I do it because it's acting, it's fun, and I'm confident in myself and I know who I am that putting on a character and putting on a show is just fun for me.
And a friend recently informed me of some possible studio work where I could do voice stuff (yes, I do funny/cartoon voices, etc). So, I'm going to look into that.
So, I'm in a book, I did modeling, I'm going to be preforming, and looking into working on voice acting. So, yeah, I have my fair share of not-average activity. I just have fun. I do what I want to do and I go for it.
I've just been making a lot of new friends that don't know about my trans status. I work and no body knows. I go out to different clubs/bars and the whole places doesn't know. Basically, trans stuff doesn't rule my life. I don't have to go around explaining things to people and constantly being a trans educator or constantly have to talk about trans-related stuff.
Another reason for moving to another city is not completely on the subject of stealth, but the the ability to actually afford a place to live. Calgary is insane for costs, and it's hard to find a place to live here. I have several friends that have moved to other cities who I talk to all the time and visit. Since I have to stay in AB for a while longer, I've considered moving to Edmonton, which is way cheaper by far and I have a job there (I also have a job in Vancouver, too... and Vancouver, ironically, is now cheaper than Calgary to live in... apparently our costs have passed Vancouver and it's not 5% cheaper to live there, and I have several friends who moved form here to there who say that yes, it's cheaper. I had one friend who worked two jobs here and moved back to Vancouver because it's nicer, cheaper, and she can have one, full-time job and live off that, not two full-time jobs and barely survive).
My new friend, for example, works at $50,000 job and now works at my drug store. She lives pay-cheque-to-pay-cheque. I know a ton of people like this, and almost everyone at my job works a "real" higher-paying job. She lives in an apartment with three people, has no car, and has nothing really fancy. It's a very common story around here, and becoming way to common.
I work at the drug store full time, I also get supplemented with my income via the province, so I just barely make it as well. I actually live off my credit cards.
But, if I could move to a different place that costs less, that has different opportunities, and then maybe I can actually pay down my debt (instead of living in it) and not have to work 70/h to live pay-cheque-to-pay-cheque.
And Edmonton isn't far from Calgary, so visiting my old friends is easy (or them visiting me). I go to Edmonton all the time, and so do my friends. The other option is Lethbridge (which is where I'm from)... although way cheaper, I really don't want to live there again. If I do, however, I have places I could stay. I have friends all over the province, and in BC.
--Natalie
Posted on: December 08, 2007, 02:59:29 PM
Quote from: Kiera on December 08, 2007, 06:29:53 AM
Quote from: gothique11 on December 08, 2007, 04:03:02 AMI'm actually getting to the point that I'm considering moving to a new city where not a lot of people, or maybe no one, knows about me. It's tempting. . .
--Nat, should be a "no brainer" Not sure at this point how the Atlanta option will work out but your thinking in the right direction which is OUT! 
Quote from: Kiera on December 07, 2007, 03:31:54 AMJust Ranting Too! Care to move to Atlanta, we'll find a place together? Need a decent bed?
Love, 
Atlanta sounds cool. I'm not so stoked on living in the states, however. And, for the next few months I have to live in AB for my surgery to happen. After that, however, moving out of province is no problem (or out of country). I lived in the US several times before, as a kid and when I was 19 (I lived in Las Vegas). It was okay, but I'm iffy about moving there.
