So I'm going to give you wonderful gals (and guys!) a brief rundown of what's going on in my life currently. I'm currently in the military (20) and I'm coming out as trans in hopes of receiving some help through them before I proceed to outside (out of pocket) sources.

So the issue comes that I'll be meeting with the commanding officer over medical. That could potentially put me in a wierd spot. The rules haven't officially changed yet. I could still face repercussions for coming out, OR they could make an advocate of sorts. All I want is to be able to express what is inside on the outside. If that helped people that would be wondeful but I'm scared that I'll be made the face of this for the navy..

I want to start down my path of transitioning while I'm young and single, rather than later on when I'm worried about hurting a family. This has been such a source of stress for me. I only joined as a means of showing everyone how manly I was, and then I started slowly breaking down. I ended up going to therapy for anxiety and depression.. they think I have a form of autism now and I'm waiting for the results of that test too...

Where I was going with the therapy anecdote was that I found out what my source of pain was and that was continuing to live my life out as keith. I need to be Lilith before I can be normal again.

I don't want to be the next advocate fighting for others yet, maybe later? But for now I just want to be comfortable living in my own skin..

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I know exactly how you feel. Though I joined the Army for the stupidest reasons... Which was literally to have a change of pace in life. My life before the Army (well training and then reserve) was really dull and unexciting. Wake up, go to work, go home, play video games, go to sleep. Rinse, repeat...
I hadn't had much dysphoria, except what was hidden to myself other then small glimpses that I was trying to wake myself up but not paying mind to it through the years. I grew my hair out, well to the short/mid length of my jawline and had styled it much as a girls hair, had painted my nails, thoughts of wanting to grow my hair out longer and braid it... Etc...
But enough with my own story

I am currently waiting as until the protections hit before I say anything due to possible repercussions, and if they would say anything that would be discrimination or harsh treatment, I would surely take it up with the IG, cover my bases. I hope things go well for your case, and I would love to hear about what goes on.

Kate <3

Quote from: Lilith on August 16, 2015, 10:38:57 PM

So the issue comes that I'll be meeting with the commanding officer over medical. That could potentially put me in a wierd spot. The rules haven't officially changed yet. I could still face repercussions for coming out, OR they could make an advocate of sorts. All I want is to be able to express what is inside on the outside. If that helped people that would be wondeful but I'm scared that I'll be made the face of this for the navy..

Best wishes for your meeting and hope that all goes so well for you.

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I want to start down my path of transitioning while I'm young and single, rather than later on when I'm worried about hurting a family. This has been such a source of stress for me. I only joined as a means of showing everyone how manly I was, and then I started slowly breaking down. I ended up going to therapy for anxiety and depression.. they think I have a form of autism now and I'm waiting for the results of that test too...

This is so true, certainly avoids the pain and anguish of upsetting those close and dependent on you. I did the marrying and raising a family bit  however I have been very happy and love my family dearly... but, well you know that you can't fight it for ever.

Katy xx

I'd definitely say wait until things are official and you know what the result of your actions will be. Also remember, puberty was a while ago for you and already happened. No need to rush. Work on therapy, get in a group, have your 'out times' when you go to events as your inner self expressed outwardly on your own private time. Make TG-related friends and get talking and doing stuff.

Consider it practice for the real thing. The more you practice, the better you'll be. Plus it'll help you vent out the TG buildup and be more comfy with yourself. 

The only reason I didn't end up giving six years (or more) of my life to the Air Force is because I got disqualified from ROTC for sleepwalking.  The military is a very common path for us, it seems.

And now, many years later, I think I figured out what is behind the sleepwalking (and my anxiety and panic attacks, high blood pressure, etc.)  (Yes, I'm a transgirl, yay!)

Don't fret if you have Asperger's or some other form of autism.  I have Asperger's, and it is somehow connected to the whole gender thing.  I don't know how, but there is some kind of connection, and it is just part of the deal. 

I am happy for you that you are figuring this out at a young age, while you still have your whole life ahead of you.  Don't worry about becoming some kind of "poster kid."

Learn about yourself, handle your transition, live your life, and be happy.

I am a military spouse of a Army JAG paralegal (and an attorney myself)... I was injured and discharged myself at basic training (I tried!)

One of the problems I'm running into at the moment is that my counselor/therapist is not getting paid by Tricare for DSM 302.58. Currently, it's unknown if my physician will get paid for her diagnosis of DSM 302.6.

Please note that the latest version of Army Regulation 40-501, last administrative revision promulgated on 11 Aug 2015, still has listed under Chapter 3, labeled "Medical Fitness Standards for Retention and Separation, Including Retirement", under section 3-35"

3–35. Personality, psychosexual conditions, transsexual, gender identity, exhibitionism,
transvestism, voyeurism, other paraphilias, or factitious disorders; disorders of impulse control not
elsewhere classified
a. A history of, or current manifestations of, personality disorders, disorders of impulse control not elsewhere
classified, transvestism, voyeurism, other paraphilias, or factitious disorders, psychosexual conditions, transsexual,
gender identity disorder to include major abnormalities or defects of the genitalia such as change of sex or a current
attempt to change sex, hermaphroditism, pseudohermaphroditism, or pure gonadal dysgenesis or dysfunctional residuals from surgical correction of these conditions render an individual administratively unfit.

b. These conditions render an individual administratively unfit rather than unfit because of physical illness or
medical disability. These conditions will be dealt with through administrative channels, including AR 135–175, AR
135–178, AR 635–200, or AR 600–8–24

I am not sure of other branches of the service, consult the similar regulations.

I would tread carefully, and ask your local JAG office for an interpretation of the rule, without coming out. They would be able to tell you what is also "coming down the pike"

If my physician does not get paid by Tricare, I'm hoping, with assistance of my counsel, to make a legal stink about this, and get Tricare to start paying for it under the new DoD policy.

Thank you all for the replies! I'm currently trying to do more as Lilith, hard to do much in private as I have a roommate. Also I am being tested for asperger's. I did go to my base legal advisors and they were awfully unhelpful...

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