Ok so I haven't really ever even been on a forum or even used one for that matter. So please if I'm in the wrong spot to be posting this could someone guide me to the right place?

Any whoppers what I have is basically one big continued question. So to save everyone time by not posting a million of them in just gonna make it one post.

I came out to my friends and family about 4 months ago via in person in forming, and then one big massive Facebook post. Since then I have been going back and forth experimenting getting cloths, doing my makeup. You know all the normal girl things. So far I have had a much more improved state of mind and over all happiness about me. I still have my days where I get sad, and stuff. Mostly I'm just happy though. Like a big weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.
However I still have days where I question myself. Question my identity, am I doing the right thing? Was I really born this way? I don't know if it's society or looking in the mirror or still having all of my birth parts? I don't know why I keep having these thoughts.
So what I'm wanting to know is if anyone in the early stages ever had these kinda thoughts? Did you think about if you were making the right decision?
I know I need to get into therapy, but I keep putting it off. Like my mind is telling me no. Like they are gonna tell me I'm wrong... Or weird. I don't really know honestly. Any thoughts and comments would be much appreciated.

Welcome to Susan's Stinakelly

Just a bit of housekeeping, the following will help your experience about the forum's

Site Terms of Service and rules to live by	Standard Terms and Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, and signature images policy

Really good you have come out to family and friends... good first step. Getting to a Therapist and getting some help with you confirming your true self... is worth it, big time..

FWIW I knew way back when I was 4, realised the anatomical differences at 5, followed by years of serious Dysphoria... then I started to question (this was very long time ago, no support, no knowledge etc...)
I married and tried to be the perfect father etc... problem was every time Dysphoria hit, it was harder, now here I am much, much older, about to do the coming out, but having more than started the transition journey... Totally the wrong way round, but its what it was and is... by the way I love my family to bits! But what must be, must be!

So be yourself, establish who you are and don't meander through your life never quite sure, because you really can't stop the surges...

Anyway welcome to Susan's and look forward to seeing you about the forum's...

L Katy 

I should not speak for others, but I may just a little bit.

I am moving very slowly. I am 50 and only just put it all together from when I was 8 on. I was in quite a state about 6 months ago. I have been in therapy, out to wife and a few friends, had an electrolysis consult, and am prepped to have a first appointment for HRT.  Just to let you know where I am.

I am much happier and a bit calmer already but absolutely doubting and questioning. I think it is pretty common among us. It seems even in people far further along right up to surgery have these concerns and questions. We all just have to keep re-evaluating who we really are and try to be that. That is the conclusion I have come to after reading and being part of a number of threads here and in therapy.

Not an easy path and a marathon not a sprint are the things I have heard over and over. It also, does not go away, even if we do question ourselves.

Good luck and I wish you a smooth journey.

With warmth,

Joanna

Of course I questioned how far I wanted to take this when I started.  I didn't know what it would take to make me happy, so we just have to start walking the path and see how far we go down it.

I realized I was trans-something 4 months ago and started female hormones 2 months ago.  During that time I have been so much happier, felt so much more balanced, and really blossomed socially.  I used to be an antisocial hermit with no friends to speak of, now that's totally not the case!

In addition, I realized today that when I'm dressed up in girl-mode, it's no longer "exciting" or "thrilling".  It's just who I am, who I enjoy being, and who I'm comfortable being.  On the flip-side, when I'm in forced boy-mode, it's almost soul-crushing.  So I compromise most days with half girl, half boy clothes.

That's how I know this is who I really am.  I could never go back to the boy I was before.  If I had to suppress all of this it would probably kill me, and I can't even wrap my brain around trying.

So in summary: Give it a try and see what you think.  If it's not who you are, then you'll know.

Thank you guys for such a warm feedback and advice!! [emoji182][emoji182]


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I think at one point or another just about all of us question ourselves, its not unusual all of society keeps telling us that what we feel is wrong, not a shock at all that we sometimes question how we feel. I know in the past I sometimes looked at how rare transgender is and thought what are the odds.

Then after a while I realized that things had persisted for so long it could not just be a passing intrest or something I tricked myself into, then I started HRT and so many things cleared up. Now I have been living full time for 7 weeks and I know it was no mistake, I am better now in so many ways. Not perfect there are still problems, and still issues but its getting better.

Serena