If you traveled back in time and met a younger version of yourself, what would you say to the younger you?  And what would the younger version say to you?  Would the younger you be proud of the person they become?

This is a hard one. Part of me would want to go back to my 18 yo self and tell him to transition by the end of college. The other part would tell him that it's ok to stick it out as a male because we get 2 wonderful children that way, but a lot of heartache.

I would want to tell myself sooo much, and not just about transitioning. I would want to talk about a life full of missed opportunities, lost friends and family, drug abuse and mental illness. I have had a pretty rough and wild ride and I carry a lot of regret and scars from the past that could have been easily avoided with a little guidance.
Though honestly, as a child, I would probably despise and fear my older self. I was very judgmental towards adults in a way very much like Peter Pan. I felt that adults had lost the path, forgotten how to be nice and true to themselves and their world. I guess I still think that way, though, as an adult I am not so quick to pass judgment.

If I met myself ten years ago the fifteen year old "boy " that was me would have hit on the present day me if I was passing or would have started a fight if I wasn't passing.  At fifteen I was a total jerk.  I was racist, homophobic, transphobic etc. and a total junkie.  The funniest part is that at fifteen I was secretly dressing in these almost dissociative spells, but I was closeted even to myself. I wouldn't even tell that punk who I was, I would just punch" his" lights out and jump in my time machine.

If I met myself at nine I would have a hard time not crying.  At nine I knew that deep down I wanted to live as a girl, but I had been convinced that doing so was an unforgivable sin.  The adult me would probably try to talk some sense into the younger me, but it would be hard.  Blind faith is a hard obstacle to move, and morbid, graphic descriptions of hell to a child are, well, scary as hell.  I would tell the poor kid not to be afraid, not to fear hell or god, and not to fear being yourself, and to be good to people.  Then I would scoop that little girl up, plant a big kiss on her forehead, and look into her eyes and told her she's beautiful

I would tell my self to face my problems and stop burying them and that being trans is nothing to be ashamed of. He would be proud of the woman I am now and how far I have come. Hugs
Mariah

Quote from: Mariah2014 on August 18, 2015, 04:22:41 PM
I would tell my self to face my problems and stop burying them and that being trans is nothing to be ashamed of. He would proud of the woman I am now and how far I have come. Hugs
Mariah

I couldn't say it better myself. I'll ditto that.

Cindi

i been thinking on this,other then the drugs and booze there is not much i would change..i was a girl who was taught how to be a male by my father,he knew i was different from the other boys and wanted me to be strong so i could face a cold cruel world head on,it was my male parts that allowed me to father 3 children..maybe i would have told myself to be more open then hiding or changing myself to fit gender sterotype.. i have since 13 have worn gender neutral clothing,i hate suits and haven;t worn one in 37 yrs. even though i suffer from g.d. i have learned to control it.

I would say, doubt yourself as much as you want, but don't let others doubt yourself. Odd one-liners were the only things I would have really payed attention and listened to. I had zero control over my ADD back then lol.

I'd tell me that a) those feelings won't go away, no matter how much you ignore them and b) start T early so you have a chance at getting taller than 5'3." 

I would tell myself to own up and except that you're a girl so you can get treatment early and not have to go through the hell of male puberty to avoid having to deal with its effects later on, saving me a lot of disphoria and self-esteem issues

Can I change my mind? I'd like to change my answer to buy Apple stock, as much as I possibly could and to hold on to it until August 2015.



Cindi

Speculation about what IF can be fun but in one sense we do have opportunities to speak to young people now who may share our family genes, neighborhood and potential to be transgender.

I think that is why it is important for parents and any adult to encourage young people to explore and not ignore their feelings, learn critical thinking skills and feel good about just being themselves.  Providing the love and security kids need to grow is essential for our future.

The latest research about Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) scores strongly correlates high scores to a meaner shorter life.  No child asked to be born.  Lets give them the support they need.

I honestly don't know. Anything I tell younger me would might mitigate the misery and confusion I suffered, but it might also create financial, emotional, and even physical danger that kid me would not be prepared to handle. Or maybe I would be stronger all along if armed with knowledge.

I do like the buying Apple stocks angle.

Goodness, so much to say:

1)  Stop trying to prove your manhood.  You are going to get picked on the same regardless.

2)  Don't try to study engineering in college.  You really can't handle the math once the numbers change to x and y.

3)  Do get out of your parents' house and become self sufficient as early as possible.  Your dad's family is rotten with mental illness and dad is a creepo.  Your parents don't love you all that much, and they will always treat you less well than your younger brother and sister no matter how hard you try, so don't waste your energy trying to be what they want.  You can never win with them.

4)  After you finish school and start working, there is a party a high school friend will invite you to.  You will meet a girl there.  REALLY, REALLY DON'T GO TO THAT PARTY.

5)  Once you finish school and start working, really, really look at transitioning then.  Do not be afraid.  Because the other road will wreck your health.

Quote from: Oriah on August 18, 2015, 11:46:52 AM
If you traveled back in time and met a younger version of yourself, what would you say to the younger you?  And what would the younger version say to you?  Would the younger you be proud of the person they become?

Honestly I felt this already happened to me when I watched the Bruce Jenner interview on WABC.

What if I could go back and visit my pre-puberty self? Hell yeah I would! So much I would tell me! I'd sit myself down and explain myself to myself, and most importantly, tell myself to not be ashamed and scared of who and what I was. I'd especially tell myself about hormone blockers! 

This would be really hard for me because there is so little advice I could give that would make things better. I was waiting for the medical community to catch up with me and I didn't seek help until it was ready for me. With the exception of delivering the proper doctors name which would cut about two years off treatment, most everything else I might suggest would make more of a mess. In addition, if I had been treated two years earlier, I would have never met my roommate changing the next 30 years of my life.

All I could do would be to provide a map of my future and tell my younger self there is hope but you will have to wait for it.

I would tell myself to tell my father the need to see a counselor because of the feeling like i was a female the whole time.  I would have said skip any combat job in the military because you will be stuffed in a room full of meat heads who already think your a girl because you are not on the latest T-enhancing suppliment like the rest of the squad.  Oh and regardless the military will make you gain some muscle which later you will be hating because HRT is a long process.  I would tell myself to just do the college route upfront instead of going to school full time and raising a family.  Oh and race cars are money pits and impractical to drive every day so why have one.     

I'd tell him to nut up and shut up. I was this sensitive, soft-handed, crybaby kid with a hundred dollar vocabulary and pretentions up the butthole. Frankly, I'm surprised my folks didn't drown me like a sack of kittens.

Seriously though, I would tell him that gender is different than sex. That's it. I was very genderless as a kid, with no sort of internal compass guiding me towards male or femaleness, and while post-puberty that would be kind of cemented into a strange 'not girl'ness, it was actually fairly untraumatic for baby me. I was allowed to do whatever I wanted without gender restriction, and since my understanding of gender was so biological, I didn't think to question whether or not I was female. Girls had vaginas and boys had penises. Done deal. Whatever I was must be what girls were, right?

In retrospect, if I had existed in either a more restrictive (ie: forcibly gender conforming) or more progressive environment, I would have been forced to concluded that I didn't fit into the girl-box earlier. That would have spared me some time, and also maybe some of the disbelief from my family.

Quote from: Oriah on August 18, 2015, 11:46:52 AM
If you traveled back in time and met a younger version of yourself, what would you say to the younger you?  And what would the younger version say to you?  Would the younger you be proud of the person they become?

I'd say "Don't worry in thirty years you invent a time machine!"

But seriously I'd rather speak with my parents, try to help them avoid stuffing up too bad.
If that were not an option is tell little me "Firstly the reason you feel so tired is called sleep apnea, tell Dad to take you to the doctor. Secondly you don't have to be what people tell you, you have more freedom and Dad is more open minded than you think, but mum isn't so tell Dad."

Nintendo's pretty rad, isn't it? Oh, I LOVE Mario games and Zelda games! Of course, you do too. Isn't skateboarding fun? Stick with it. Loosen those trucks. No, it's not the nuts on the wheels, it's that nut in the middle of the tuck.

Your animals love you, too. Your friend across the street means no harm, but he's bad news nonetheless. I know you guys are friends, but look at how much trouble you've already gotten into together. He'll only get worse. And don't worry, that kid downstairs, nobody likes him. It's not just you. And some day a friend of yours is going to kick his ass.

Oh, ask your mom to take you to a record store. Check out this band called Nirvana. You're gonna love 'em! The album's called Bleach. And that band you want to know about, they're called Black Sabbath, not Black Savage. You're thinking of Fred Savage. And that song on the radio you really like, that band's called Faith No More.

How do I know all of this? Because I'm you. Yep, you'll grow up to be a beautiful girl, and you'll be loved for it. It's okay to feel this way. It's okay to have these feelings. And when those kids tease you and start calling you a girl, tell 'em, "yep, I'm a girl," and go back to what you're doing. You know you want to do this. Remember that song you sang in the bathtub?

And all that physical therapy you're going to? Take that ->-bleeped-<- seriously! Do that every day, even when your therapist isn't coming over. Get strong! Recover from your accident!

I love you tons. I'm always here with you, because I AM you.

Then I would hold my scrawny, lanky, crippled child self and comfort her. I'd stroke her fine, blonde hair and joke, "Enjoy this ->-bleeped-<- while you got it. Someday you're gonna have to wear a wig!" I'd rub her back and gently blow air into her ear, because I always loved that.

"Here, you wanna learn some new stuff on your skateboard? Allons-y! ... that means let's go!"